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by Almael
#31262 Some corrections/suggestions to the translation

CHAPTER 4-1
"there is also seems to be contemplating." => "there is also seems to be contemplating."

"nice body slept disarrayed" => "the nice body laid asleep and sprawled"

CHAPTER 4-2
"The man, in the direction of another person, had long black hair with Japanese face disappeared, the pure girl" seems reversed japanese "The pure girl had long...disappeared in the direction..., a man."

Looks like many sentences are in reversed japanese order. You got to put them back in our western order.
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by Ukinojo92
#31267
Almael wrote:"there is also seems to be contemplating." => "there is also seems to be contemplating."

this looks exactly the same

and changes will be made when I have time
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by evilpii
#31363
ChaudSept wrote:Where's Pii when we need him?!


You rang? gendo1 Sorry. It's been a hard semester. Momo and Beni are keeping class busy. tenchiahhhhhh

ChaudSept wrote:But I wonder what it means, the novel seems to be seperated into parts where the characters's ages are fluctuating between 19 ans 17 yo...
Maybe 19 means we follow Tenchi, and 17 means we follow Ayeka & Ryoko.

I'll post the in-text illustrations soon-ish.


Without more information, I would assume the latter situation is most correct. The film bounces between Haruna's pocket universe (Tenchi/Haruna) and the main universe (Ryoko and the rest). The climax is when Washu bridges the two worlds, allowing Ryoko and Ayeka to confront Haruna in her own domain.

When I get a longer break from work, I will take a closer look at what has been translated. Good on you gentlemen for taking on this task. kiyonesmile1
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by Ukinojo92
#31372
evilpii wrote:When I get a longer break from work, I will take a closer look at what has been translated. Good on you gentlemen for taking on this task.


Thank you

Don't know if it will be a world shattering but there might be a part in the novel that comes from Yosho's pov. Probably in the chapters that have the Sasami pic on Jurai or Haruna and Yosho together. Or might have some detail that was rushed or elaborated on more.
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by evilpii
#31938 Now that I'm back from the dead, let's see what we have here. mmhmm1 Since I've missed a lot of discussion, I'll split my responses to keep to each point. I apologize in advance for multiple posts. Kiyofacepalm1

ChaudSept wrote:Table of contents
Prologue. Page 5
Chapter 1, The world of 1970 (CE). Page 10
Chapter 2, 1996, Masaki house’s extinction. Page 37
Chapter 3, 1970, Lovely youth. Page 54
Chapter 4, Space Calendar 507410 ...... Kain is sealed off. Page 86
Chapter 5, 1970, Tokyo. Page 98
Chapter 6, Space Calendar 507510 ...... GP’s annihilation. Page 126
Chapter 7, 1970, Abnormality in Tokyo’s sky. Page 138
Chapter 8, Space Calendar 507484, Kain’s annihilation. Page 172
Epilogue. Page 194
"Tenchi Muyo!" changes in the afterword (wtf?). Page 203

Ukinojo92 wrote:The table of contents pretty much follows the order the movie was told in. The Year 1970 is when the events of In Love are taken place and when Kain was eliminated.

Kain Sealed - Space Calendar 507410 = Earth Calendar Year: 1896
Kain destroyed - Space Calendar 507484 = Earth Calendar Year: 1970
Kain's escape/GP attacked - Space Calendar 507510 = Earth Calendar Year: 1996

ChaudSept wrote:Mh, not really is it?

The movie is more like :
1 - Kain lock off and GP destruction
2 - Short "Flashback" of the household in the 70s
3 - Household in 1996, Tenchi starts to fade away.
4 - 1970 adventure
5 - The movie keeps on.

Chaud's right on this one. The novel is arranged differently from the film, but not by much.
  1. The film does open with Kain escaping from GP headquarters, causing its destruction. On his way, he buzzes Yagami before entering Earth's atmosphere. That event issues an aurora over modern Tokyo, right about the time Tenchi notices his hand and feet phase out for a moment.
    Image
  2. A short, voiceless interlude is shown in Autumn 1970, demonstrating each main character's placement.
  3. The film fades from Achika walking through a forest to a grainy 8mm film of her, watched by Tenchi, Ryoko, Ayeka, and Sasami. When Achika vanishes from the film reel and Tenchi briefly vanishes, Washu enters and shields him, explaining the situation. Everyone is gathered to travel back to 1970.
    Image
  4. The 1970 tale is told.
However, that being said, several events are told via flashback/flashforward during the remainder of the film.
  1. Washu and Kiyone read through Kain's dossier.
    Image
  2. The operative explains to Ryoko how he came to 1970 and Kain's goals.
    Image
  3. Washu tells about the Kain's imprisonment and the Jurai emperor's death in doing so.
    Image
  4. Achika sees her own tombstone through her link with Tenchi.

Given all of this, the chapter headings mostly fall in line with the correct sequence of events:
  • Chapter 1, The world of 1970 (CE) -- interlude showing everyone in 1970,
  • Chapter 2, 1996, Masaki house’s extinction -- the paradox in the present, spurring everyone to go back in time,
  • Chapter 3, 1970, Lovely youth -- introducing Achika,
  • Chapter 4, Space Calendar 507410 ...... Kain is sealed off -- the flashbacks to Kain's imprisonment,
  • Chapter 5, 1970, Tokyo -- the school trip to Tokyo,
  • Chapter 6, Space Calendar 507510 ...... GP’s annihilation -- the film's opening showing the GP headquarters,
  • Chapter 7, 1970, Abnormality in Tokyo’s sky -- Kain's arrival and first battle with Tenchi and the operative,
  • Chapter 8, Space Calendar 507484, Kain’s annihilation -- Kain's defeat.
While Kain's imprisonment and the destruction of the GP headquarters are not in the same places as in the film, the main beats of the story seem in the right place.

Also, Ukinojo's assessment of the dates seems correct as well. The dialogue clearly says that Kain was imprisoned 100 years ago.
Image
Given Kain's imprisonment in Space Calendar 507410 and the GP's destruction in 507510, the difference is 100. Moreover, looking at Kain's defeat in Space Calendar 507484, the difference with 507510 is 26, the number of years from 1996 to 1970. Without data to contradict the assumption, I find it safe to assume that "Space Calendar" is just a shift of the usual a.D./C.E. calendar, that one Space Calendar unit is the usual solar year on Earth. Likely, this is not done to confuse the reader, but to address the issue that a space-faring civilization need not base its time scale on the birth of a Jewish carpenter on a backwater planet. woooo1
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by evilpii
#31939
ChaudSept wrote:The table of contents often help us to know what's inside the novel.

目次
Table of contents
プロ ローグ
Prologue

第1章 19才 •真夏の恋
Chapter 1…… 19 years old – Midsummer’s Love
第2章 17才• 不在の夏
Chapter 2…… 17 years old – No summer
第3章 19才• 不安な夢
Chapter 3……19 years old – Anxiety Dream
第4章 17才• 空白の足跡
Chapter 4……17 years old – Blank Footprints
第5章 17才• 消息の糸口
Chapter 5……17 years old – New clues
第6章 もぅひとつの19才
Chapter 6…...Another 19 years old
第7章 19才• 17才との対面
Chapter 7…… 19 years old – Meeting with a 17 years old
第8章 17才• 未来の奪回
Chapter 8……17 years old – The Future’s rescue
第9章 19才• 燃えつきる、永遠の夏
Chapter 9 ……19 years old – Burning out, Eternal Summer
第10章 17才• 秋。新しい未来へ
Chapter 10……17 years old – To a New Future
エピローグ
Epilogue
あとがきにかえて
Afterword

ChaudSept wrote:But I wonder what it means, the novel seems to be seperated into parts where the characters's ages are fluctuating between 19 ans 17 yo...
Maybe 19 means we follow Tenchi, and 17 means we follow Ayeka & Ryoko.

I replied to this in November, but I will give a more detailed reply. The high points of the story are as follows.
  1. The film opens with Yosho and Haruna approaching Earth aboard his ship, visually similar to Funaho from the OVA.
  2. Ryoko and Ayeka fight over chores when Tenchi intervenes. They turn their attention to him and ask him finally to choose between them. He escapes into the forests, where Haruna's ghost then draws him into her fantasy.
  3. Six months pass, and the Masaki household has scattered across the galaxy to find Tenchi.
  4. Tenchi awakes, visibly older and more like Yosho, in an apartment with his supposed girlfriend, Haruna.
    Image
  5. Elsewhere, Sasami uses Jurai's arboretum network, yet another visual cue from the OVA, to search for Tenchi. Ryoko and Ayeka briefly see Tenchi in the crowded city, but lose him in the chase.
  6. Tenchi sketches Haruna by the moonlight and spend the night like young lovers.
    Image
  7. Katsuhito discovers Haruna's camellia has blossomed and realizes what has actually happened.
  8. Haruna meets with Tenchi after class, and they head home together in the rain. Ryoko and Ayeka spot him walking with Haruna but once more lose him in the alleys of the city. Seeing Haruna only distresses the pair more, Ayeka cracking and Ryoko emotionally turning off.
  9. Meanwhile, Haruna finds a sketch Tenchi made, of a cyan-maned woman. She tears it down and crumples it, leaving Tenchi to demand why she did it. However, her tears spur him to placate her by shopping, buying a pair of matching rings. At the same time, Ryoko and Ayeka are working when the two worlds briefly converge, allowing them to see Tenchi and Haruna in their diner. Ryoko and Ayeka try to reach him but are unable to speak to him or even touch him. However, Haruna reacts to them both, clearly aware of them. Haruna then vanishes along with Tenchi.
    Image
  10. Sasami hears the tale of Haruna from the knights and relays it to Washu. She, in turn, explains the parallel world issue to Ryoko and Ayeka, making a plan to break into the other world.
    Image
  11. Again, Tenchi sketches Ryoko's visage, but he hides the sketch before Haruna can see it.
  12. Washu confronts Katsuhito, who tells his tale to her, how he planted Haruna's camellia on Earth after her death.
    Image
  13. Again, Haruna finds the Ryoko sketch and destroys it, spurring another spat between her and Tenchi.
  14. Washu uses Kiyone and Mihoshi to implement her plan, teaming with Sasami on Jurai.
  15. Frustrated, Tenchi finds the bankbook and sees the nonsensical figures. Finally, he has had enough lies and deception and states he can't love her like this any more. Ryoko and Ayeka then break into the reality and confront her, but Haruna exiles both of them and resets the alternate world. Washu sends them right back, but Tenchi orders Ryoko and Ayeka away, so he can confront Haruna himself.
    Image
  16. Katsuhito finally decides to cut down Haruna's tree and enter the other world as well to face Haruna. He forces her to remember her own final words.
  17. Yosho's spirit guides Haruna's away, leaving Tenchi to be rescued by Ryoko.
    Image
  18. Tenchi is sketching in the hills when Ryoko joins him for a moment alone together.
    Image


Looking at the table of contents, I could speculate as to how the chapters line-up, but I do not quite see how a couple of them align yet.
  • Chapter 1…… 19 years old – Midsummer’s Love -- Yosho and Haruna arrive in orbit of Earth.
  • Chapter 2…… 17 years old – No summer -- Tenchi disappears.
  • Chapter 3……19 years old – Anxiety Dream -- Tenchi awakes in Haruna's world.
  • Chapter 4……17 years old – Blank Footprints -- Ryoko and Ayeka search fruitlessly for Tenchi.
  • Chapter 5……17 years old – New clues -- Sasami hears about Haruna from the knights.
  • Chapter 6…...Another 19 years old -- ???
  • Chapter 7…… 19 years old – Meeting with a 17 years old -- ???
  • Chapter 8……17 years old – The Future’s rescue -- Ryoko and Ayeka break into Haruna's world.
  • Chapter 9 ……19 years old – Burning out, Eternal Summer -- Katsuhito cuts down Haruna's camellia tree.
  • Chapter 10……17 years old – To a New Future -- Ryoko brings Tenchi home.
I am sure translating a little of each chapter might place it more exactly. In the absence of evidence to the contrary, I am fairly convinced that the novelization is, more or less, the same order of events as the film. Moreover, I am fairly convinced that the 19/17 ages are to distinguish the two parallel timelines, not that someone is actually changing age between chapters.
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by evilpii
#31940 Chaud posted this beautiful scan not too long ago.
ChaudSept wrote:Image
It looks like young Yosho ^^

That certainly does. soawesome1
Ukinojo92 wrote:The Yosho picture was unexpected and possible cut from the movie or just for the novel. Pii is going to love making theories on that picture.

You're right. I am, and I did. badass1 Moreover, I'm pleased to see that I wasn't far off the mark. gendo1

I read Ukinojo's very rough translation of Chapter 4 from the TM!iL1 novelization, and I found the story exactly the kind of gem I hoped would be in a book version of the film. The segment briefly describes Katsuhito walking through his home with Achika, peeking at Ryoko and Ayeka while they sleep. He notes that neither belong amongst the usual high school crowd. Basking in the moonlight, he reminisces about an event from his childhood on Jurai.

Yosho's father, presumably the emperor of Jurai at the time, has a lesson to teach the young prince, of sacrifice for the greater good. The man leads the boy to a tomb deep in the palace, where a lone tree stands vigil. As with all royal trees, this one has a long memory, and through it, Yosho watches the battle between Kain and a Juraian emperor since passed. Though the emperor could have chosen to protect only his own lands, he chose to yield his life to save many others from a horrible monster's massacre.

I really like this story, and it answers some questions I have always had. Consider who Katsuhito is in TM!iL1. A generation before, he had been crown prince, a lineal descendent of the Jurai king. As an educated man, he would surely know about other races of the galaxy, such as Ryoko, and certainly recognize a woman of noble descent, like Ayeka. Perhaps seeing them here is why he tolerates them when they arrive 26 years later. Moreover, if Kain was such a monster, he would not doubt have heard the story at some point in his life.

Given the ability of a Jurai tree to display the content of her memory, this segment gives a first-hand account of the first defeat of Kain, which is only mentioned in vague flashbacks and hushed tones in the film. Also, framing it as a lesson to the prince endears it to the man Yosho would grow to become, and the king he might have been.

However, the film never addresses either issue, focusing mainly on Achika's story. Truthfully, since Katsuhito plays little role in the film, omitting his suspicions or knowledge does not detract from the film's storytelling. I would estimate the scene was dropped due to pacing or some other such reason. Still, seeing it animated would have been a treat too. Tenchismile

Ukinojo and Chaud, thanks for providing and translating this segment. You made my day. kiyonesmile1
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by Ukinojo92
#31945
evilpii wrote:
Looking at the table of contents, I could speculate as to how the chapters line-up, but I do not quite see how a couple of them align yet.

•Chapter 1…… 19 years old – Midsummer’s Love -- Yosho and Haruna arrive in orbit of Earth.
•Chapter 2…… 17 years old – No summer -- Tenchi disappears.
•Chapter 3……19 years old – Anxiety Dream -- Tenchi awakes in Haruna's world.
•Chapter 4……17 years old – Blank Footprints -- Ryoko and Ayeka search fruitlessly for Tenchi.
•Chapter 5……17 years old – New clues -- Sasami hears about Haruna from the knights.
•Chapter 6…...Another 19 years old -- ???
•Chapter 7…… 19 years old – Meeting with a 17 years old -- ???
•Chapter 8……17 years old – The Future’s rescue -- Ryoko and Ayeka break into Haruna's world.
•Chapter 9 ……19 years old – Burning out, Eternal Summer -- Katsuhito cuts down Haruna's camellia tree.
•Chapter 10……17 years old – To a New Future -- Ryoko brings Tenchi home.


The chapters 6 and 7 seem odd. This is my speculation but, chapter 7 might be the scene where Ryoko and Ayeka see Tenchi in the Restaurant. Chapter 6 might be the scene where Washu and Yosho talk about his past.

evilpii wrote:Moreover, I am fairly convinced that the 19/17 ages are to distinguish the two parallel timelines, not that someone is actually changing age between chapters.


It is possible it is that, but in chapter 1 it says: 19 years old – Midsummer’s Love -- Yosho and Haruna arrive in orbit of Earth.

It never was exactly specified how old Yosho was when he came to Earth. And in the 2nd movie, Washu says that Haruna's world time was accelerated to have Tenchi the way she wanted him to be. Conclusion: Haruna aged Tenchi in order to have him the same age as Yosho was when he and Haruna came to Earth. It is convenient to tell which world it is by the age in the Chapter title, but in a way is changing the age between the characters.