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    Kiyoka
    Member
    This is half of my post.

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    So we see the Masaki Household again, in it’s typical slow, slice of life day, the gang is doing their usual things, Washu is in her lab, Sasami playing with Ryo-ohki, when all of a sudden, a giant ship appears out of nowhere and grabs Tenchi while’s he’s working the carrot fields.

    Giant ships appearing in the Tenchi verse above Masaki house. Cliche, but its not too bad. So far so good.

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    Now this shocks Washu, Ryoko, and Kiyone especially. Washu because she never saw anything on inter-dimensional radar (if you will), Ryoko because she recognizes it as a pirate ship she’s seen before and says “Why is she here”, and Kiyone because it’s the thing that brought her and Mihoshi together. Because we are primarily having Hasegawa’s work be dominant in Universe, this is a PERFECT opportunity to introduce Pirate Queen Seiran from her novels, who Ryoko Balta ripped off was inspired from. (Now technically Seiran is the male character in the novel and she is “Technically” the Queen of Darkness, but I like the name and this is too perfect.)

    Washu not detecting ship: Not a bad idea. Has only happened once I think? Ryoko knowing it feels like something natural to happen, so good there. I’m not really sold on this being how Mihoshi and Kiyone were brought together though.

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    So everyone is freaked out, so Kiyone explains that Seiran is THE pirate queen and that as she was a lower ranked officer at the GP, they were constantly dealing with threats from her space pirate guild, and that Seiran was always one step ahead of her, and do you know why? That’s because RYOKO was a part of that guild before she branched off and did her own thing. (DOUBLE FREAKIN WHAMMY, we get backstory on Ryoko being a pirate and Kiyone’s GP history)

    Kiyone knowing its the pirate queen is something we would expect. Rest is alright, although isn’t Kiyone low ranked enough? Quote Mitsuki: “Oh, the one that deals with minor incidental things?” Perhaps if you said whilst she was being mentored or something? THis is my preferance, but I’d prefer it if Kiyone said whilst she was training at the acadamey, she heard countless times about this pirate queen’s attacks.

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    Kiyone remarks at her being so much trouble and that she was a heartless demon, and Ryoko grabs her by the collar (everyone shocked) and says “She was anything but” So Ryoko explains that she was an orphan, just her and Ryo-ohki on the streets of Jurai (because everybody hates Jurai but Jurai) and while Seiran was on one of her binges of booze and destruction, they stowed away on her ship. After that, they saw she was alone (Seiran remembers what it’s like being alone and forgotten by “these” people) and takes her on, so Ryoko learns from the best, they pillage across the Universe for years and that Ryoko looked up to her as an older sister. But if she took Tenchi, she’s gone too far, unfortunately there’s no way to get to her. Kiyone (hacking a bit from being held) says that the GP knows where she is, Ryoko interjects and says she knows WHERE she is but getting to her isn’t as easy as just walking in the front door, they’ll know they are in Guild territory before the gang would, they’d need a way to hide.

    I’m not 100% convinced. Does Seiran just keep anyone that is lonely? I think it needs more emphasis on why she takes her on. Maybe she is caught stealing something and nearly gets away from the ship?

    Kiyone hacks? Since when can she do that? In TMIL we see Washu hacking into Yagami so there’s one character that hacks. Rather Washu should be doing the hacking, not Kiyone. It seems weird also.

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    Washu jumps in and says that she was working on a prototype enhanced cloak field for fun and could apply it to their ship and Ryo-ohki, Ryoko says no need, “We’re always welcome back”

    How convenient. Too convenient. Rather she could go so far as to have the shields modified to cause camouflage, at the cost of draining the shields slowly/certain amount of time/draining Ryo Ohki’s energy.

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    Seiran remarks at how cute/dashing/ manly w/e he looks and “No wonder Ryoko liked you”. She introduces herself as Seiran, the Pirate Queen, and that he was now a captive of hers for the time being. Tenchi being the polite guy he is says “Uhh hey it’s nice to meet you and all, but can I go home? I mean…” Seiran cuts him off, and comes closer and leans over getting close to his face (and judging by that pic, Tenchi probably isn’t hating it either) “THE CAMERA” shoots a quick shot of her chest as it shows her with a slightly sad face saying “But I need you, we all need you, at least here me out” Tenchi is doing that classic sweating “too close for comfort” thing he does and says “Well uh” and the screen pans out (Because I’m a director, and this is awesome)

    Would Tenchi really say that? He’s been told he’s a captive and thats the first thing that comes out of his mouth? I think he’d first ask why he’s a captive.

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    The gang is heading off through space, and Ayeka asks Kiyone “Miss Kiyone, before you were so rudely interrupted by Ryoko, please explain who this Seiran is) (Seeing as how Ryoko and Ryo-Ohki are on the other ship, and this is just classic Ayeka, lol) Kiyone explains that before she was a detective first class, she always had a lot of paperwork to do on this character named Seiran (and it upset her superiors who then made Kiyone’s life hell, thus making her upset, lol) Kiyone also knew the only way for her to advance was to somehow solve the case and bring in Seiran.

    What exacly upset her superiors who made Kiyone’s life hell? I didn’t grasp what you ment.

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    “So I walked up to the chief’s desk and asked for the case, but he told me another person was on the case” and when she asked who, Mihoshi jumps in and says “MEEEE” Ayeka looks a bit perturbed and Kiyone, well….yea, I think you can imagine, head down, eyes in disgust. (back to flashback) “Miii….HOSHI…iii”, The chief explains she was detective first class, and also the (whoever top guy is)’s grandaughter, but now that you mention it, she hasn’t phoned back in days, and just as she’s about to walk out, Minato (I believe that’s right) Mihoshi’s mother walks in, “Are you Kiyone?” *sob* Kiyone nods * sob* “Mihoshi is always saying such nice things about you, when you bring her her daily coffee it really brightens up her day” (The usual Mother about child thing, this was when Mihoshi was first class and Kiyone wasn’t, I wanted to give Minato some emotion other then Kuramitsu-Woman default that Kajishima sadly gives them) She grabs Kiyone’s hands, “You’re her best friend, would you please go make sure she’s ok?” Seeing as how Minato is the Director’s daughter, Kiyone seizing the moment also looks at the chief and he says “Alright, well it’s abrupt but, Kiyone I hereby make you honorary Detective first class and your mission is to find the whereabouts of Detective First Class Mihoshi (he stamps it and Kiyone heads off)

    Hmm, I could see Kiyone doing this, and Mihoshi’s mother begging her to help.