Reply To: Harry Potter and the Visitors from the Stars HP/TM Crossover

He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Name Killed Once More!

by Rita Skeeter

It seems that the Ministry of Magic has a lot to answer for! After months of denying the return of You-Know-Who, eyewitnesses report that he and several of his suspected Death Eaters marched right up to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry and led a full scale assault. Thankfully, the Boy Who Lived was on the scene and managed to take care of the Dark Wizard once and for all.

“He was so brave!” fourth year Sasami Jurai shared with us in an exclusive interview.

Jurai is one of several students who joined Hogwarts this past year to attempt a foreign exchange program to further pursue magical global unity. These new students had quite a year from what the reporter has learned. Throughout the course of their term, they were placed in the supervision of Dolores Umbridge, former Ministry of Magic employee who took over the role of Headmistress for a brief period of time this past year. She was sadly a causality in the struggle with He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named.

“She was a terrible, heartless teacher who cared little for her students…but she did not deserve to die,” Jurai conceded, tears streaming down out of her bright pink eyes.

After reinstating Albus Dumbledore as Headmaster of Hogwarts, Minister Fudge had this to say: “We at the Ministry owe Albus Dumbledore and Harry Potter our deepest apologies. We were too blind to see that You-Know-Who had returned. The Wizarding World is in all of your debt.”

In addition to the Boy-Who-Lived and his peers, a key player in all of this was the now recently pardoned criminal Sirius Black. Black, who was believed to have betrayed the Potter family fifteen years ago, was cleared of all charges upon the capture of the once thought to be deceased Peter Pettigrew, who was captured with the Death Eaters attacking Hogwarts. Sirius did not have the time to comment with us at the time of this story’s publication, but he assured us we would get an exclusive interview soon!

Insiders tell us that it was partly thanks to Lucius Malfoy that the attack was a success. Lucius managed to risk life and limb to report to Dumbledore as a double agent. We at the Daily Prophet applaud your bravery Mr. Malfoy!

*HPVFTS*

Aliens at Hogwarts?!

by Xenophilius Lovegood

In a shocking turn of events, it seems as if Headmaster Albus Dumbledore has admitted several aliens to the famous Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry!

Earlier this year, it was reported that Hogwarts had received a slew of new students from another country, but we here at The Quibbler are shocked to discover that the country isn’t a country at all: it’s outer space!

“We all heard the Dark Lord announce it!” fifth year Pansy Parkinson told various reporters. “They are really weird!”

“That is simply preposterous,” Washu Hakubi, a fourth year Ravenclaw and an accused alien, defended. “How can we be aliens? Is it my pink hair?”

This reporter can see right through her confession and say without a doubt that this was a plan to throw us off the trail. This is an interesting turn for the Headmaster. After being forced to leave Hogwarts due to leaking the Rotfang Conspiracy files, this is proving to be a rather trying year for the wizened man. Representatives for The Quibbler reached out to Professor Dumbledore but he was unavailable for comments at this time.

*HPVFTS*

“What did you do Luna?!” Washu yelled when she finished reading The Quibbler. “You can’t print this stuff!”

Luna adopted an offended look. “Miss Hakubi, I’ll have you know that The Quibbler is a newspaper dedicated to reporting the news to its readers. We will not ignore a story just because you ask us not to print it.”

Washu hung her mouth open to say something, stopped herself, and shook her head. “Journalistic integrity…who knew?”

“It’s okay,” whispered Hermione. “Most people don’t believe The Quibbler anyway.”

“Ah.”

The school had returned to a state of normalcy, minus the fact that the students began to pay more attention to the Tenchi gang. The crew had become Hogwarts legends almost overnight. Ryoko and Ayeka were pestered by people wishing to learn fighting moves from them (including former members of the Inquisitorial Squad surprisingly), while Tenchi used every given opportunity to get away from it all. The two people who were enjoying the spotlight were Mihoshi, who loved the idea of reaching more students, and Washu, who was quite simply a narcissist.

On the flip side, Harry and Neville were also relieving quite a following. Neville, who had never had that many people admiring him, enjoyed it to a point. With his grandmother avenged, Neville seemed to be adjusting better than the brooding boy he was just weeks earlier.

Harry, however, wished to follow Tenchi’s footsteps and enjoy some peace. Though he was thrilled that the fighting was all over and was happy to no longer be mocked by the Ministry’s smear campaign, he hoped that he could begin to have a normal life. He looked forward to living with Sirius and to enjoy a carefree summer with his friends.

Opening the door to the subspace room, Harry found himself relieved that its only occupant was Tenchi. The two regarded each other with a nod. Harry plopped himself down on the couch and sighed.

“Tenchi, I have to ask you something.”

“Yeah Harry?”

“How do you do it? How do you put up with all of the craziness of your life?” Harry inquired.

Tenchi thought about it for a moment and then laughed. “Honestly, I’m not sure. I’m a simple guy who enjoys my peace…and yet I can’t imagine going back to the way things were without the girls and the excitement. I guess that I just transposed the idea of peacefulness to the girls being around.”

“Hmmm…I guess that makes sense. So, now that it’s all over, what do you think you lot are going to do?”

“Well,” Tenchi started before he paused. It was clear to Harry that Tenchi was contemplating that exact same question. “I really don’t know Harry. It’s not like we belong here. This world…it has no place for us. We came here because we needed to. We needed to save lives.”

“You’re saying that we will never see each other again?” Harry asked dejectedly.

Tenchi shook his head. “Hey now, that’s not what I said! The shrine and our house will be open for you guys to visit, but we can’t stay here for another year to finish up a magical education! We aren’t wizards Harry; remember that. Think of this as a carnival. It has to end at some point, but it comes back again next year better than ever! We may not come back to Hogwarts, but our friends are always welcome!”

Harry sat and took everything in. Of course Tenchi was right. This school had no real magical purpose for this lot. They were not witches or wizards, nor could Ryo-Ohki be classified as a magical creature. Still, it comforted Harry to know that Tenchi still considered him a friend.

The future seemed bright for Harry, and that made him happy.

*HPVFTS*

“Class, this is it! My last…last…oh I don’t want to go!” Mihoshi wailed as she addressed her class one final time. This was the final Muggle Studies class and she clearly did not wish to end her year.

“Don’t cry Professor Kuramitsu!” Ginny cried, offering the teacher a hug, which she gladly accepted.

“Oh Ginny, what am I going to do?! I loved being a teacher!”

“…aren’t you a cop?” Lee asked. Ayeka hit him in the arm. “Ow! What was that for!”

“You aren’t helping Lee!” Ayeka scolded.

Mihoshi looked at all of her students. “Um…I really have no idea what to even do for a final class. The whole play thing was my last big idea and you guys did that already! I…”

Hannah Abbot stood up. “Professor, why don’t we just talk about what our favorite things we learned this year was. I mean, I thought this class was going to be boring, but I’ve honestly grew to like it.”

This unexpected burst of perceived passion from the one student who seemed to be bored and confused by the entire class just caused Mihoshi to cry even harder.

*HPVFTS*

“Well students,” Albus Dumbledore spoke at the End of the Year Feast. “Another year has passed and much has changed in all of our lives. I would like to congratulate each and every seventh year for completing the magical education! We look forward to the great things you will all accomplish in your life beyond Hogwarts!”

The Great Hall was drowning in the echoing sound of clapping and cheering. All around, the various seventh years were being honored by their peers one last time before they would depart on the Hogwarts Express.

When the noise died down, Professor Dumbledore began to speak again. “Furthermore, I would like to extend a hearty farewell and a thank you to our Japanese visitors. Each of you have touched our lives in ways we cannot begin to describe, but you have also helped us restore our land to a state of peace. We here at Hogwarts owe you all a debt. You will always be welcomed at Hogwarts. Thank you.”

The noise continued again. Ryoko drunkenly reveled in the cheering by raising her glass of sake and starting a toast. “To Tenchi, the most handsome swordsman in the world!”

She was pushed out of the way by Ayeka, clearly tipsy herself, raised her own glass. “Please demon, let a real woman do it! To Lord Tenchi, who stopped Voldemort and Kagato all to selflessly save us all!”

The two women began to brawl over who gave the better toast. Mr. Filch went to stop the fighting, but Dumbledore motioned for him to let it continue. It seemed like everyone was looking on the fight and etching it into their memories. These moments would be missed in the following year.

“Er, thank you for that lovely attempted toast ladies!” Dumbledore chuckled over their struggles. “Now, before we tuck in to this lovely meal prepared for us with help by our very own Sasami Jurai, I would like to thank each and every one of you for your loyalty this year. You proved that each of you are committed to our school in your own special ways. For that, I am dissolving the House Cup this year, for each of the houses proved that you are all champions in your own way! Thank you all for keeping our school alive and for believing in an old man like me.”

With that, the food appeared. Various foreign dishes mixed their way into the old Hogwarts classics. Ron eagerly grabbed a bit of everything and began to stuff his face in.

When he noticed Sasami and Ginny laughing at him, he got very defensive. “What? This is my last Sasami meal of the school year! I want to make it count!”

“Funny, I always thought that you just ate like that,” Luna mused.

Washu smiled at grabbed her friend close. “Never change Luna! Hogwarts needs somebody like you!”

“What about you?” Hermione slyly asked. “What are we going to do without someone like you?”

“Gasp!” Washu mockingly exclaimed. “Granger, I’m amazed! This is coming from the same girl who thought we were all here for some dark and sinister purpose!”

Hermione blushed. “Oh please, I was right wasn’t I? You lot were hiding something!”

“Yeah,” Ginny agreed. “Technically Hermione was in the right with that one.”

“Details, details!” Washu laughed.

From his seat at the high table, Albus took the moment to observe his students. At the Hufflepuff table, Neville was talking with Hannah Abbot. The two were laughing about something trivial no doubt. Dumbledore knew that the boy still had a ways to go coping with the loss of his grandmother, but Sirius had requested to let the boy stay with him and Harry. Dumbledore, speaking on Sirius’ behalf, managed to get the request approved and the trio would no doubt enjoy a fun summer together.

The Slytherins were engaging in some kind of memorial party for Ayeka and Ryoko. It seemed that they were finally accepted as true Slytherins for their combat skills in the fight with Dumbledore, an irony that was not lost on the Headmaster. He had hoped that by separating the Masaki household into different houses that the school would develop an inter-school loyalty and he was pleased to see those seeds planted at long last.

The Ravenclaws and Gryffindor tables seemed to be just as merry. The various members of the D.A. who stood their ground against Dolores Umbridge were treated like heroes. They would no doubt be incorporated into future Hogwarts lore. None of those heroes would be as fondly remembered as Tenchi and his friends, whose antics and odd behavior turned the school upside and brought stability to a crumbling Wizarding World.

Finally, he regarded his fellow teachers, who were having their own good time. Mihoshi seemed to be simultaneously over excited to be seeing her colleagues in such a good mood and yet depressed to the point of tears that the school year was ending. He was thinking of contacting her over the summer to see if she would be interested in teaching a Muggle Pop Culture course part time so she could come back and continue her fun, but he did not want to invade in their lives too much. Dumbledore chuckled to see even Severus Snape hide a smile directed toward the blonde haired detective, which quickly disappeared before anyone else could catch it.

Did Dumbledore do the right thing by allowing these people to join the school? He hoped so. Albus knew he had made many mistakes this past year, but he hoped that his actions were justified enough to allow himself to be forgiven. All he knew was his students were happy, and that made the Headmaster smile all the same.