No Need For Time Travel!

FADE IN:

INT. TENCHI’S ROOM – DAY (PRESENT)

ANGLE ON RAI as he grudgingly opens his eyes while lying on a rollout bed mat on the floor.

[align=center]RAI

(sotto voce)

Ugh…oh, my aching–

(flinching)

It wasn’t me! It was all Kenchi’s idea![/align]

A BEAT

RAI looks around.

The room is quiet and empty, save for KENCHI out cold underneath the sheets of a bed.

RAI hovers, cautiously examining his surroundings.

He notices KENCHI asleep in bed.

RAI phases and appears hovering right over KENCHI.

[align=center]RAI (CONT’D)

(looking back at bed mat)

Pft. Even in some stranger’s house, he gets the preferential treatment![/align]

RAI’S broad ears perk up to muffled voices outside the room.

[align=center]WASHU (O.S.)

For the last time, no Mihoshi! For the time being, only I am allowed to check in on them.[/align]

[align=center]MIHOSHI (O.S.)

Well, for the, umm…eleventieth time, why can’t any of the rest of us help?[/align]

[align=center]RAI

(sotto voce)

Why does her voice sound familiar?

(gasps – sotto voce)

Is that Washu?![/align]

AD LIB WASHU lecturing MIHOSHI O.S.

[align=center]RAI (CONT’D)

(sotto voce)

What is she doing here?! Oh man, she’s probably gonna’ make Guinea pigs out of us for tampering with her machine![/align]

The muffled voices O.S. get louder.

RAI nervously surveys the room before eying a notebook and pen sitting atop a desk.

ANGLE ON DESKTOP

[align=center]RAI (O.S.) (CONT’D)

Hmmmm….[/align]

INT. MASAKI HOUSEHOLD

WASHU and MIHOSHI stand right outside the closed door of TENCHI’S room.

[align=center]WASHU

Suffice it to say, Mihoshi my dear, they are in a delicate state right now, and, err, might suffer “culture shock” if too many people interact with them at once. Does that satisfy your curiosity for the time being?[/align]

[align=center]MIHOSHI

You know it doesn’t, Miss Washu![/align]

[align=center]WASHU

Too bad. Now, if you’ll please wait right here….[/align]

WASHU slowly opens the door. She ducks inside, leaving MIHOSHI waiting somberly out in the hallway.

ANGLE ON MIHOSHI

[align=center]WASHU (O.S.) (CONT’D)

GAAAAHHH!!! Mihoshi, get in here quick![/align]

[align=center]MIHOSHI

Wait, but didn’t you just say–[/align]

WASHU’S arm protrudes from the now-open door and pulls MIHOSHI in.

[align=center]MIHOSHI (CONT’D)

Yipe![/align]

INT. TENCHI’S ROOM

WASHU looks around the room nervously while MIHOSHI looks around curiously.

KENCHI remains asleep in bed, while there is no sign of RAI save for his empty bed roll and scattered sheets.

[align=center]MIHOSHI

Now wait just a minute: call it a detective’s intuition, but I’m pretty sure there were TWO unknown persons in this room![/align]

[align=center]WASHU

(angrily)

Grrrrr!

(grabs MIHOSHI)

Yes! But now there ISN’T! See the problem?![/align]

A BEAT

[align=center]MIHOSHI

I do.[/align]

WASHU releases MIHOSHI in frustration and searches the room frantically.

[align=center]WASHU

Where?! Why?! How?! Help me look, Mihoshi![/align]

MIHOSHI notices a piece of paper next to KENCHI’S head. She picks it up.

MIHOSHI’S POV

The note reads in sloppily-written words “I did it, signed me, Kenchi, not Rai…who is cool.”

BACK TO SCENE

[align=center]MIHOSHI

(examining paper)

Hmmmm….[/align]

[align=center]WASHU

What? What is it?

(notices note)

What’s this?[/align]

WASHU grabs the note from MIHOSHI’S fingers.

[align=center]MIHOSHI

Whatever it was that we’re freaking out about, I have reason to suspect this “Kenchi” is our culprit![/align]

WASHU sighs in defeat.

[align=right]CUT TO:[/align]

EXT. MASAKI HOUSEHOLD

RAI appears out of thin air onto the rooftop of the Masaki house.

He curiously examines his surroundings.

[align=center]RAI

(looking at house – sotto voce)

Japanese architecture…nice.[/align]

RAI hovers down one of the grassy knolls surrounding the house.

WE SEE many of the familiar sites associated with the Masaki household, such as the shrine and the lake on RAI’S self-guided tour.

[align=center]RAI (CONT’D)

(sotto voce)

This place is awesome! Yet, strangely familiar…but at any rate, why would Washu bring me and Kenchi here if…

(gulps)

…she knows we touched her doohickey![/align]

RAI’S ears perk up again at the sound of distant voices.

KIYONE and SASAMI’S voices emanate from the garden nearby.

[align=center]SASAMI (O.S.)

But aren’tcha’ curious about who those two were or where they came from?[/align]

[align=center]KIYONE (O.S.)

Of course I am, kiddo. But you heard Washu, they need their rest for now. Just help me pick the rest of these tomatoes and you and Ryo-Ohki can cook them up something really nice for when they wake up![/align]

[align=center]RYO-OHKI (O.S.)

(happily)

Meow![/align]

SASAMI giggles O.S.

RAI quietly sneaks towards the voices.

WE SEE SASAMI placing several tomatoes in a basket, with RYO-OHKI resting on her head.

[align=center]SASAMI

There! That should do it! Thanks, Kiyone, me and Ryo-Ohki are gonna’ chop these up in the kitchen![/align]

SASAMI runs towards the house.

[align=center]KIYONE

(calling after her)

Be careful with those knives![/align]

[align=center]SASAMI

I know![/align]

AD LIB RYO-OHKI meowing as the two fade into the distance.

ANGLE ON KIYONE.

KIYONE remains on her knees in the garden, enjoying what was left of a warm spring day.

Suddenly, KIYONE springs up quickly, eyes focused on a tree at the edge of the garden.

[align=center]KIYONE

Ryoko! Is that you again? I’m not in the mood for playing space cops and robbers today![/align]

A BEAT

[align=center]KIYONE (CONT’D)

(pulling GP yo-yo out of pocket)

If that’s you, Ryoko, I’ll give you ‘til the count of four to come out of there![/align]

ANGLE ON TREE

[align=center]RAI (O.S.)

Why four?

(covering his mouth)

Doh![/align]

[align=center]KIYONE

Hey! Okay, whoever you are, this is Galaxy Police Officer Kiyone Makibi, and I am ordering you to come out![/align]

[align=center]RAI (O.S.)

…Auntie Kiyone?[/align]

KIYONE’S stern expression lapses into one of utter confusion.

[align=right]CUT TO:[/align]

INT. MASAKI HOUSEHOLD

WASHU and MIHOSHI now stand in the main ground-floor room of the house.

[align=center]WASHU

Look, Mihoshi, there are certain things I wanted to keep secret from you and the others…things that must still be kept secret…but unfortunately cannot be entirely avoided at this point. So, here’s what you’re going to do….[/align]

[align=center]MIHOSHI

(raising hand)

Question![/align]

[align=center]WASHU

Yes?[/align]

[align=center]MIHOSHI

Can I put on my detective uniform? ‘Cuz I reeeally feel like this sort of murder mystery scenario really calls for it.[/align]

[align=center]WASHU

Mystery what? No, Mihoshi, there’s no murder to solve,

(sotto voce)

at least, I hope there won’t be,

(to MIHOSHI)

but at any rate, we need to find someone in this very house, Mihoshi, who doesn’t “fit in.”[/align]

WASHU places her hands on MIHOSHI’S shoulders, looking her in the eyes.

WASHU’S POV

MIHOSHI has a placid look on her face.

[align=center]WASHU (CONT’D)

Understand, Mihoshi? One of these things is not like the others.[/align]

[align=center]MIHOSHI

…like Ryoko! She’s the only one of us who can fly![/align]

BACK TO SCENE

WASHU slaps her own forehead in frustration.

[align=center]WASHU

Look, just…

(sighs)

…if you see a boy, who is not Tenchi, or ‘Honorable Father’ or Katsuhito…[/align]

MIHOSHI perks up as if about to speak.

[align=center]WASHU (CONT’D)

(interrupting)

…or anyone who may or may not be named “Kenchi” report it to me at once using your GP communicator.[/align]

MIHOSHI stares at the “wristwatch” on her wrist.

[align=center]MIHOSHI

(saluting)

You got it, Miss Washu![/align]

[align=center]WASHU

Excellent! Now, let’s get to it! It is imperative that neither of these two see anybody except for me, at least for the time being.[/align]

[align=center]KENCHI (O.S.)

Excuse me, Ma’am, but do you happen to have any herbal tea?[/align]

[align=center]WASHU

(smiling)

Sure, we’ve got some right in the kitch–[/align]

WASHU gasps as she whips around to see KENCHI at the foot of the stairs.

[align=center]KENCHI

(nervously)

Oh, Miss Washu! I, err, didn’t realize it was you for some reason…

(a beat; continuing)

Auntie Mihoshi, is that you?[/align]

ANGLE ON WASHU and MIHOSHI

WASHU looks utterly dejected while MIHOSHI perks up.

[align=center]MIHOSHI

Hiya Kenchi! It’s been a long time! I can’t remember the last time you visited…

(pondering)

…come to think of it, I can’t remember us ever meeting, actually. And, did you say “Auntie” by any chance?[/align]

[align=center]WASHU

(sotto voce)

This…is…not good….[/align]

[align=right]FADE OUT.[/align]

(again, pseudo-screenplay format, spacing not accurate, but still works for reading, yadda yadda)

NO NEED FOR TIME TRAVEL! PART 2

[align=center]ACT ONE[/align]

FADE IN:

INT. MASAKI HOUSEHOLD

WASHU nervously switches back and forth between staring at KENCHI and staring at MIHOSHI.

[align=center]MIHOSHI

Now, let me get you some of that tea, Kenchi!

(a beat; continuing)

Say, “Kenchi” kind of sounds like–[/align]

[align=center]WASHU

(interrupting)

NO IT DOESN’T! It sounds like nothing![/align]

[align=center]MIHOSHI

(confused)

Well, if you say so, Washu. But ya’ mind telling me why Kenchi here called me “Auntie”?

If I was an aunt, I think someone would have told me by now.[/align]

KENCHI walks towards WASHU and MIHOSHI.

[align=center]KENCHI

Oh, don’t tell me, Miss Washu…

(tenderly grasps MIHOSHI’S hands)

…you’ve been using Aunt Mihoshi for your ludicrous experiments again![/align]

[align=center]MIHOSHI

(shocked)

Is this true, Miss Washu?[/align]

[align=center]WASHU

What? Why that’s…err…

(a beat; continuing)

…that has nothing to do with anything right now![/align]

KENCHI leans down to be face to face with WASHU

[align=center]KENCHI

(indignantly)

I didn’t hear a ‘no’ Miss Washu. I insist you explain yourself this instant.[/align]

[align=center]MIHOSHI

(imitating)

Yeah, Washu, start talkin’![/align]

AD LIB WASHU stuttering nervously.

[align=center]WASHU

Well, err…you see–[/align]

[align=center]KIYONE (O.S.)

(from outside)

Hey! Washu![/align]

Suddenly the front door of the house slides open. KIYONE stands in the doorway pinching RAI’S ear.

[align=center]RAI

(whimpering)

Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow![/align]

[align=center]KIYONE

Washu, you got some ‘splainin’ to do![/align]

[align=center]WASHU

(shocked)

GAH! No! You, and he–[/align]

SASAMI emerges from the kitchen.

[align=center]SASAMI

What’s all the ruckus in here? I thought we were supposed to keep quiet for–[/align]

SASAMI notices everyone staring back at her.

[align=center]SASAMI (CONT’D)

Uhh…what’s going on?

(noticing RAI and KENCHI)

Hey! You two are up! Super! That means you can eat! Dinner’s on![/align]

RAI immediately breaks free of KIYONE’S grasp and hovers towards the kitchen.

[align=center]RAI

Food! Oh yeah![/align]

[align=center]KENCHI

What an adorable little servant girl you have here.[/align]

SASAMI walks towards KENCHI with a scowl on her face.

[align=center]SASAMI

What? Look here, Mister, I’m Sasa–[/align]

WASHU quickly cups her hand over SASAMI’S mouth.

AD LIB SASAMI mumbling.

[align=center]WASHU

(laughs nervously)

Yes, she’s our servant girl…from Sasari! Yep, we brought her here all the way from Sasari because of her fabulous cooking! Yep, nothin’s too good for royalty![/align]

[align=center]RAI (O.S.)

(food in mouth)

It’s so good, you guys![/align]

SASAMI rushes into the kitchen.

[align=center]SASAMI

Heeeeeeey! Wait for everyone else, will you?![/align]

WASHU frantically pushes KENCHI towards the kitchen.

[align=center]WASHU

Now, now, Servant Girl, we musn’t keep these hungry boys waiting![/align]

KENCHI remains calm and motionless as he is pushed across the floor.

[align=center]KENCHI

You’re acting most unusual today, Miss Washu…even by your standards.[/align]

RAI emerges from the kitchen with food stuffed in his mouth.

[align=center]RAI

Yeah, we figured if anything you’d be really mad about–[/align]

RAI’S cheerful expression sours. An unchewed morsel of food falls to the floor from his mouth.

[align=center]RAI (CONT’D)

Uh oh.[/align]

KENCHI freezes bolt upright with a worried look upon his face. WASHU continues to push him with all her might to no avail.

[align=center]KENCHI

Oh gracious. I’d forgotten about that.[/align]

A BEAT

Everyone stands in awkward silence for several moments.

Simultaneously, RAI and KENCHI rush towards WASHU and kneel before her.

They each bombard her with an indiscernible cacophony of words.

WASHU’S POV

[align=center]KENCHI (CONT’D)

(while RAI speaks)

Miss Washu, I beseech you! It was an accident! We didn’t intend to activate your brilliant invention![/align]

AD LIB KENCHI listing excuses.

WASHU turns to RAI.

[align=center]RAI

(while KENCHI speaks)

It was him! It was him! He did it! He did it! He did it! He did it![/align]

AD LIB RAI repeating words over and over.

BACK TO SCENE

[align=center]WASHU

Enough! Enough! ENOUGH![/align]

KENCHI and RAI cease their menial pleas.

[align=center]WASHU (CONT’D)

(to everyone)

Okay, listen up people! This has all become far messier than I would have liked, but here’s what’s going to happen:

everyone in this room head to my lab this instant! Everything will be explained shortly.[/align]

[align=center]RAI

But–[/align]

[align=center]WASHU

(interrupting)

But nothing![/align]

[align=center]MIHOSHI

But–[/align]

[align=center]WASHU

(interrupting)

Lab! Now![/align]

SASAMI leans in from the dining area.

[align=center]SASAMI

(somberly)

But what about dinner?[/align]

A BEAT

[align=center]WASHU

(calmly)

…oh, I suppose a quick bite of dinner…

(dramatically)

…and THEN everyone to the lab immediately![/align]

[align=right]CUT TO:[/align]

INT. DINING ROOM

WASHU, MIHOSHI, SASAMI, RYO-OHKI, KIYONE, KENCHI and RAI all sit around the table enjoying their meal.

AD LIB laughter and pleasant tabletop conversation.

Suddenly KIYONE slams her hands onto the table.

[align=center]KIYONE

Why does this keep happening?![/align]

Everyone stares at her in stunned silence.

[align=center]KIYONE (CONT’D)

(miffed)

What I mean, is…

(regaining composure)

…why are we leisurely eating a meal right now? Don’t we have some important questions that need answering?

And besides, Washu, just a little while ago you said something about absolutely

not allowing certain individuals to see either one of these two![/align]

KIYONE gestures towards the door with her arm.

[align=center]KIYONE (CONT’D)

They could just waltz in at any moment! What’s to stop that from happening, Washu? Hmmm? What then?[/align]

A BEAT

WASHU calmly sets down her dinnerware.

[align=center]WASHU

(calmly)

Well, first of all, Kiyone, we’re all enjoying this wonderful meal because

Sasaaaahh–Servant Girl here worked hard making it, and we appreciate her efforts.[/align]

Everyone at the table nods in agreement.

AD LIB entire table stating compliments.

[align=center]WASHU (CONT’D)

And secondly…as soon as Curly and Shemp here showed up, I told you-know-who to keep

the girls busy with something that was sure to give us plenty of time.[/align]

[align=center]KIYONE

How’d you manage that?[/align]

[align=right]CUTAWAY[/align]

TENCHI picks carrots out in the fields with his shirt off.

RYOKO and AYEKA lie on their stomachs, staring at TENCHI like wolves to a sheep.

[align=center]TENCHI

(sotto voce)

Washu, you owe me big![/align]

BACK TO SCENE

[align=center]WASHU

Well, I’m stuffed! Okay everybody, to the lab![/align]

[align=right]CUT TO:[/align]

INT. WASHU’S LAB

Everyone sits in desks as if at school while WASHU stands behind a podium in front of a large electronic screen displaying indiscernible data.

Everyone wears a look of shock on their faces.

[align=center]WASHU

Now, any questions?[/align]

[align=center]KENCHI

(mortified)

You mean that wacky invention of yours–[/align]

[align=center]WASHU

Raise your hand if you have a question, please![/align]

KENCHI raises his hand and stands while continuing to speak.

[align=center]KENCHI

(angrily)

…was a blasted time machine?!![/align]

[align=center]WASHU

Sure sounds like me, don’t it?[/align]

[align=center]RAI

Nice….[/align]

[align=center]KENCHI

Those are illegal for a reason, Miss Washu![/align]

[align=center]KIYONE

“Auntie” Kiyone???

(grabs RAI)

How do I age? Tell me! Tell me right now![/align]

SASAMI holds up a pre-written piece of paper.

RAI glances towards SASAMI while being shaken by KIYONE.

[align=center]RAI

Uh…you age extremely well, young lady![/align]

AD LIB RAI being continuously shaken.

[align=center]MIHOSHI

(to KENCHI)

Hmm, so if I’m “Auntie” Mihoshi, then your mother must be….[/align]

KENCHI gently tussles his purple hair.

[align=center]KENCHI

Isn’t it obvious?[/align]

[align=center]SASAMI points to RAI.

SASAMI

(gleefully)

And YOU’RE mom must be….[/align]

KIYONE releases her grip on RAI.

[align=center]RAI

(deep in thought)

…wait a minute, you’re name’s not “Servant Girl”….[/align]

WASHU slaps her forehead.

[align=center]WASHU

Oy! Yes, it’s pretty obvious who you two belong to. Which is precisely why I’ve gone to great lengths to keep

Ryoko and Ayeka from seeing you.

(points directly at RAI and KENCHI)

To prevent any sort of time paradox, YOU TWO will NOT interact with your parents

in any way whatsoever![/align]

[align=center]KENCHI

(feigning boredom)

Fine.[/align]

[align=center]RAI

(feigning joy)

Sweet! No moms naggin’ us![/align]

[align=center]WASHU

Good. Glad we’re all in agreement.

(mutters)

That was surprisingly easy.

(to KIYONE)

Now, Kiyone, when Tenchi comes back–[/align]

RAI and KENCHI perk up.

[align=center]RAI AND KENCHI

(simultaneously)

Dad’s here?!![/align]

[align=center]WASHU

Fiddlesticks.[/align]

KENCHI rushes out the lab door as RAI floats upward and phases through the ceiling.

A BEAT

[align=center]WASHU (CONT’D)

Double fiddlesticks.[/align]

KIYONE walks discouragingly over to MIHOSHI, grabs her arm, and pulls her towards the lab door.

[align=center]MIHOSHI

Where are we going, Kiyone?[/align]

[align=center]KIYONE

We’re on it, Washu….[/align]

WASHU gleefully clasps her hands together.

[align=center]WASHU

Oh good! You know the routine. Sasami, dear, would you help me wipe down

these desks before I put them away?[/align]

[align=center]SASAMI

Sure, Miss Washu! But, don’t you have machines to do that or something?[/align]

[align=center]WASHU

Yes, but let’s not let that temporary ‘Servant Girl’ title go to waste! Hop to it![/align]

RYO-OHKI emerges on top of SASAMI’S head.

[align=center]RYO-OHKI

Meow?[/align]

[align=center]WASHU

Yes, Ryo-Ohki, right meow.[/align]

[align=center]RYO-OHKI

(dejected)

Meow.[/align]

[align=right]CUT TO:[/align]

EXT. CARROT FIELDS

TENCHI walks towards the house, fully clothed and carrying a bundle of carrots on his back.

RYOKO and AYEKA follow along either side.

[align=center]RYOKO

(giggling)

Tenchiiiii! You should do your chores in the buff more often![/align]

[align=center]AYEKA

(angrily)

Miss Ryoko!

(calmly)

Actually, I agree with you completely.[/align]

[align=center]TENCHI

That’s not gonna’ happen! Sheesh, I was just…really hot today, and–[/align]

RYOKO turns TENCHI’S face towards hers.

[align=center]RYOKO

Yeah you were….[/align]

AYEKA slaps RYOKO’S hand.

[align=center]AYEKA

(angrily)

Miss Ryoko![/align]

EXT. MASAKI HOUSEHOLD

TENCHI rolls his eyes as he sets the basket of carrots down by the outdoor pantry.

RYOKO simply squints her eyes angrily before shoving AYEKA with both hands away from TENCHI.

[align=center]RYOKO

(mockingly)

“Miss Ryoko! Miss Ryoko!” Sheesh, can’t you ever give it a rest?[/align]

AYEKA stands in abject shock before verbally retaliating. As she does so, a voice O.S. towards the rooftop joins her in unison as if rehearsed.

[align=center]AYEKA AND KENCHI

(simultaneously)

How DARE you touch royalty, filth![/align]

AYEKA covers her mouth in confusion and joins TENCHI and RYOKO in searching for the owner of the voice.

[align=center]RYOKO

What the–?[/align]

In a single bound KENCHI leaps from the heigth of the Masaki house down to the ground, landing between AYEKA and RYOKO.

As his feet touch the Earth, KENCHI draws a Jurain sword with a blue energy blade identical to TENCHI’S.

[align=center]KENCHI

(raising sword to RYOKO)

Who would have thought Washu’s frivolity would allow me the opportunity

to right the wrongs brought on by this demon-eyed vixen![/align]

[align=center]RYOKO

(to TENCHI)

Hey Tenchi, ain’t he cute? What, are kids already dressing up like you? It’s a little early for Halloween…

(to KENCHI; angrily)

…hey, wait a minute, whaddyu call me, you little twerp?![/align]

[align=center]AYEKA

(to KENCHI)

Who-who are you, young man? You have an air of Jurain nobility about you….[/align]

KENCHI keeps his weapon and his gaze focused on RYOKO.

[align=center]KENCHI

(to RYOKO)

Apart from my personal disliking of your savagery, your meddling in the affairs of our family is an affront

for which I’ve long sought retribution…Space Pirate Captain Ryoko![/align]

[align=center]RYOKO

Oooh, “Captain” you say? Well, I’ve always given thought to throwing my hat back in the ring…

(grabs TENCHI)

…that is, only if my sweetie-pie Tenchi would come with me![/align]

[align=center]TENCHI

Ryoko! Shouldn’t we figure out who is–I mean, what the heck is going on around here?[/align]

[align=center]KENCHI

Unhand him, you brute![/align]

KENCHI charges RYOKO, raising his blade high over his head, preparing for a downward thrust.

[align=center]RYOKO

Fine, kid, you asked for it![/align]

As RYOKO tosses TENCHI behind her and prepares to defend herself, an energy blast from high overhead tears into the ground in front of KENCHI, causing an explosion in the loosely-trodden dirt.

A BEAT

As the dust clears, WE SEE a Jurain forcefield surrounding KENCHI and AYEKA.

RYOKO phases into view next to TENCHI as he lies on the ground.

[align=center]RYOKO (CONT’D)

Tenchi! Are you alright?[/align]

[align=center]TENCHI

Oh great, what now?[/align]

[align=center]KENCHI

(shouting upward)

Getting in my way, as usual? Well, come on then! Show yourself![/align]

In front of RYOKO and TENCHI, RAI phases into view. Dust disperses as his feet plop onto the ground.

RAI stares angrily at the ground before raising his anger-filled eyes to meet KENCHI’S.

[align=center]RAI

I always thought you were kinda’ annoying, little bro. But messing with my mom?[/align]

RAI waves his hand and ignites a beam of focused energy into the shape of a saber.

[align=center]RAI (CONT’D)

Now I’m genuinely pissed.[/align]

[align=right]FADE TO BLACK.[/align]

[align=center]END OF ACT ONE[/align]

“Little” stuff like that affects readers in significant ways, so I appreciate hearing your take.