No harem for me EP.4

Ekei walks to school but all we see is a far away view of him, then suddenly a view of him through camera lens. “I have visual of the target.” says the young male’s voice then another male voice speeks. “what’s he doing” “He’s walking to class – geh!” instantly takes a picture of ekei from sudden fear and suprise as soon Ekei halts and gives a death glare to the viewer, like he knew he was being watched.

His picture along with ones of his friends springs up on a screen and some guy (I guess the president) speaks to a  audience of men in the shadows “Men these 4  have taken all of our beatuies from us and- *yadda yadda yadda long boring speech* as the harem girl fan club, we must take back what is ours!” (even though they don’t know you and you never talked to them) “HO!!” chant the audience of stupid boys. “But we must be careful of this one” Springs a full view of Ekei and all the men shutter. “yeesh it’s like he’s really glaring at me.” “we all know Ekei is the biggest threat, but together we can take him down and recieve our new harem beauties.” as the men cheer the club president turns and stares at Ekei’s picture and grippin his fist. “We wont loose.”

(new intro song, whoopie) *~Oath sign by LiSA~*

we see our hero- “Stop calling me that!!” (fine) Ekei is heading towards class. But he’s cautious of the girls jumping him again. Although cupid had to go back to heaven to speak with some high counsel people about her mistake loves in the first episode. Along with cosplay girl heading over seas for modeling. (yeah and I didn’t have any ideas for what to do with her ) but there is still was Mai Lycanna, Aimi Kato, Abe Aoi and her blank face horny masochist maid “Wait she’s around too!?” (yup )

Ekei uses ninja skills through bushes and behind walls, was for not because Mai used a alien spy cam and tracer to watch him in bliss “Ahh~ he’s so athletic :heart: as I should expect my soon to be husband.” But Ekei spots the spy camera in the air and takes it out from throwing a rock at it. Mai sounding more girly “*giggle* he found it, so hot.”

Ekei makes it to school, Checking if it’s safe. “Semapi?” “fuck!” he speed walks away from Aimi that spotted him and follows. “Get to class!” “oh yeah it’s about to start!” she runs off “….Dummy. Finally class eh.. oh forgot” “Master!” Yup Aoi is in this class too and “Class we have another new student~” Said the horny teacher (Read Ch.3 for a reminder of her ) Comes in..the maid!? “aww why couldn’t it be a boy?~” said teacher.

“Greetings I’m Miki Valentine” As she was introducing herself to the class. Ekei looks over at Aoi with a ‘wtf’ expression, she just passes a note telling him to meet at the roof after class.

after class of Ekei and his harem friends feeling akward of having girls slide their desks’ next to them. More akward for ekei because Aoi and Maid Miki practically sandwiched him.

During lunch break on the roof, Miki explains of why she’s taking the class “because I’ve only lived a life as a maid and wish to have a life as a normal girl. As Abe-sama changed her life style to act more of a girl. ~yadda yadda yadda~” All while she reads out from a script she wrote.  Ekei glares from her faking and she goes horny mode “Ahh!~ that glare of disgust striking right through me!~ :heart:” Ekei and Aoi both make a wtf face, wait Aimi is there too? Guess she followed them. “Hit me please Hattori-sama!~” Maid girl begs while leaned over the roof fence and waving her rump at him.

“Hold it right there! Husband is mine!” said the loud Echo and beams in Mai right behind Ekei and  embraces him and her chest clamping his head. He muffles in mai’s chest while she speaks “Don’t dare try and seduce my husband to your strange fetishes!” “Hmph mean old wolf woman. Trying to Keep Hattori-sama’s spankings to herself.” Mai, Aoi, and Aimi blush as they all imagine Ekei taking them advantage and spanking them.

He pulls away from the wolf girl’s grasp and gasps for air. While he sat on the ground panting. another voice in the air shouted. ( a guy’s voice this time.) “Hahaha! Ekei you’ve always despise harems and we’ve leaved you alone !” (Plus you’re afraid of him >w>) “But you lie and now you’ve enter the world of harem!” “like I wanted to!!” “We and the Harem Lovers club shall take what is ours!” all around is guys in cloaks and practically all over the school.

“The hell?” Said Ekei and the girls. “You Hattori Ekei and along with your friends have taken away our beauties. We shall -” Ekei shuts him up with a smack on the head “Please no more long speeches” “M-master you will protect me?” Aoi assumes with a big blush “Where did you assu-” “No! husband is meant to protect me his wife!” “Sempai is protecting me!” yadda yadda everyone argues and has to go to class.

The next day, each girl from all four harems either got hit on by the random members or get stalked by the losers –oop I mean the Harem fan club. Including Ekei’s girls.

First was Mai, she lost Ekei from him sneaking away and went into hiding. She goes on her fours sniffing the ground with her rear in the air and her tail pointed up. She herd random click sound and stuck her head up with ears wiggling. Thought it was nothing and goes back to sniffing, yet again the sound goes off. Mai growls and shouts out “Whose there!?” shoots her blaster at a tree, making it fall. Out it gives birth to a nerdy boy that was taking pictures of her and his camera broken by her gun. Stands over him with a hard scowl “trying to take lewd pictures of me huh?” the response from the geek backfires “so hot~!” gets out his camera phone and starts taking pictures, but he wasn’t alone, tons of other horny men from the club spring out from hiding and takes pictures of her. Mai Yelps, with a goofy surprised face. She was freaked out and ran from the flashes. The photographers go after her.

Second was Aimi sitting underneath a tree and drawing in her sketchbook of the scenery around her, everything she sees. The sketching was going a tad overboard when she unknowingly adds in guys in speedos doing posing and holding up a sign with Aimi’s picture in the center of a heart and them saying they love her, she stops and looks at her drawing “Ah! What!?” starts erasing it. The guys go up to her and try to sound sexy as they ask her to draw them with her. As well as holding up their own art pieces of her. “n-nooo!” she runs and the guys chase her

third as Abe, walking the halls and got interrupted by tons of men dressed in drag. She makes a wtf face when they’re trying to look cute and innocent. Deep man voice “A-aoi-sama, I love you” “Hell no!” she runs from the drag men as they chase her as well in a dainty kind of run.

Miki, was next to Ekei and serving him tea. All while smiling with half open eyes. “Thanks, why’re you not off serving Aoi?” “Well Aoi-sama, said she must speak with the principle about what is needed to repare the damages that was made and said that I musn’t let you get harmed by those women while she was gone.” Author and Ekei together say, “I think you’d do more harm.)

*screaming* “Hm?” Ekei looks up and sees the girls from his friends’ harem getting chased by the harem fan clubbers. He growls and as he was about to get his bamboo sword. “Husba—and!” Mai is getting chased too by a photographers. “Senpai-I!” Ekei sees Aimi by guys in speedos, holding art pieces of her. “Ma—ster!!” finally we see Aoi getting chased by a bunch of guys in drag.

both Ekei and Miki just stare in awe and sweat drops from what they just saw. And just as Miki was about to get approached by a guy dressed as a butler, Ekei swats the guy’s head with his shinnai. “*sigh* I have to save them too huh?” ( of course ) Miki holds her blushing cheeks moved how Ekei had saved her. He starts to walk out, swatting down several more guys. But he can’t do it alone. Ekei finds his friends and getting them out of situations the club has them in, like being tied up. he along with 4 of them. Especially 2 that can fight, head out to fight off the club members to save their girls.

After helping his friends get their girls back, Ekei goes to first Aimi’s aid. Swatting every speedo guy and getting a spray can and ruining everything they made. As well as using a paint brush to write all over their faces. Ekei picks up her sketch book and looks at her other pictures. Aimi goes all red as soon he complements after giving it back. “You’re actually pretty good.” Spins his shinnai over his shoulder and leaves to save the others, aimi hugs her sketch book and smiles.

Next was Aoi. She ran super-fast away from the men but she was halted by Ekei’s arm embracing her. “E-eh?!’ she looks up with a red face from seeing it’s ekei. He looks at all of the drag men and has a sick expression on his face “that’s … just gross” the men gets out folded parasols to use as swords. The fight goes on for five minutes. Ekei smacks guts and blocking attacks. After the battle he sighs and looks over at Aoi “why didn’t you try to stop them Miss gun woman?”  aoi looks down, holding her arm “I didn’t want to cause any more damage like I did last time..” “hmm..” Ekei pats Aoi’s head. She pokes her fingers and looks down. As soon as he stops to go for Mai. Aoi has a goofy smile with a blush, watching him go, secretly she wants him to keep petting her.

“Ok author you’re making it sound like I’m getting attached to these girls now!” (aw come on, can’t hate these girls forever~) “no but the main reason you started writing this to make fun of Harems now you’re just writing for me, I’m supposed to be the guy who is just a friend of the main guy er guys and hate the thought of being in one” (yeah I know, but the joke of your friends helping you, went too far so I let it happen. But hey, at least I refused to write any tsunderes in the story so that should make you better, right?) “*sigh* okay then, yeah they’re the worst thing about harems, I hate the most.”

Ekei finally catches up where Mai is now. She’s cornered in the ground by the tons of flashing pictures being taken of her. Suddenly there was a bang, and smoke surrounded her and blinded the photographers and their cameras, smashing and smacking sounds happen that makes mai’s ears wiggle and she still wonders what’s going on. A gust of wind blows away the smoke, Mai looks up to see Ekei standing in front of her with his back facing her and he held his weapon, as well as smoke bombs he borrowed from the ninja girls. “h-husband?” she looks down to see all the photographers were knocked out and their camera’s smashed. He looks back at her in the corner of his scar eye and asks “you have all those space weapons, gadgets, and being a strong woman. Why didn’t you try to stop them?”

Mai has her ears folded back and answers. “It was all those flashes that scared me..and I couldn’t…-“ he rubs the top of her head and to calm her down, he embraces her with his arm. Her furry head goes red. -Ok author, now you’re pushing it- ( ) Mai sits there, stunned but her tail wags rapidly, her arms jerking was about to hug him back but he lets go too fast and walks off to face the leader.

Mai’s ears perk up and couldn’t hold anymore and chases after Ekei to embrace him from behind, along with giving him a lick, marking him.

ekei’s face gotten red from the random hug and lick. Mai was smiling. That good moment for her was interrupted when a random bullet grazes her hair. Aoi was there and saw what Mai had done “Damned wolf Woman! Release my master!” Mai stuck her tounge out at Aoi and the both had their fight. Ekei just leaves.

~scene change~

The three head members are on the roof of the school.  The treasurer speaks first “Grr Damn them. How did they ever escape!?” the vice president answers “how else? Hattori-kun got them out. Now he’ll come after us next. President, what’ll we do?”

A long pause goes on and we only see the back of the president as he looks down at the defeated members of the harem fan club. “grr, Hattori-san. You and your allies¬¬ won’t get away with our love for our precious goddesses.” He holds up a picture of aimi with Ekei and his image defiled with marker graffiti. Still looking at the picture of Aimi he turns around to his subordinates. “we will not lose hope!” he flings down his arm to speak directly at the two but he sees the both of them knocked out on the floor and Ekei in between them and standing with his palms on his sword pointed down.

“Ah! Hattori-san!” the president jumps in surprise and he drops the picture over the edge of the roof, reaches out for it, crying “Noooo~” the harem president grips his fist and turns back at our scarred hero with anger, charges at Ekei as he roars. Only to get face planted by Ekei’s foot, while ekei’s plugging his ears. (he’s still annoyed by the guys always yelling) the president grabs his leg and flips him over. But in retaliation, Ekei flips over. He puts his shinnai to the side, decides to go fist to fist with president.

President throws his first punch but Ekei blocks it away and pokes the president in the eyes with fingers *boink* everything starts going three stooges as Ekei just kept dodging and making a fool out of the president with slaps silly’s, flicks on the heads when president wasn’t looking. More and more the president was getting agitated.  He points at Ekei  “damn you Hattori, you and your friends won’t get in our way of me and the Harem clubs’ girls!” the presidents pants randomly falls down “AH!” Ekei was holding the guy’s belt. “you and harem clubs’ girls? *sigh* I hate idiots like you as much as tsunderes. 1. I never wanted to be in a freaking harem, you and everyone should know that, but thanks to my idiot friends, it seems I am and I want to stop it 2. Have you ever even talked to the girls? Do they even know you? I’m guessing you only like them because ‘there oh so cute!~’ *pose like idiot to mock them*” “grr they will love us-“

suddenly the president gets interrupted by a vision in the sky. All the men in the harem club do the same. Staring in awe as they see cupid floating down from the sky.

“ah shit, she’s back”

Cupid shouts out “Ekei-kun!~ where are you~ I’m back from the council meeting!~”

Suddenly all the men from the harem club, as well as the president, ran down, surrounding cupid and all trying to get her attention. Cupid stands there with a wtf face.  

Ekei walking past to head back home, not giving a damn ;P.  while Aoi, Miki, aiki, and Mai follows him. All feeling happy

cupid shouting out “who’re all you?! I want my Ekei-kun!” ending wither having a goofy teary face being surrounded by gifts. “Ekei-kuuuuun!”

*end credits, song: Bando – yuuko Suzihanda*