OVA 4: Chapter 1

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    shadowsfall0
    Participant
    none
    This is in Screenwriting format and is fully finished. Tell me what you think of this first chapter guys ^.^

    The wedding guests filed out, trying to determine if they had ever seen a more peculiar wedding. In particular, the Masaki table had some interesting conversation.

    Washu: Well that was interesting

    Ayeka: Yes indeed.

    Noike: I always said Seina had no idea what he was getting himself into.

    Ryoko: Tenchiiii… (Ryoko clings to Tenchi’s arm) When are we gonna get married?

    Tenchi: Uh…um…Ryoko…

    Ayeka: Get off him Ryoko! Leave Tenchi alone!

    Ryoko: Make me Miss Prissy!

    Tenchi: Girls come on now! Stop it!

    Sasami: Look! There’s Grandmother!

    Seto approaches the table with Airi and Mikami close behind.

    Seto: Hello everyone. Glad you could make it.

    Tenchi: Thanks for inviting us.

    Washu: So Lady Seto, this must be why you’re called “The Devil Princess.”

    Seto: Why Washu, whatever do you mean?

    Washu: You know very well what I mean. Seina’s a nice innocent young man and you toyed with his feelings. Not to mention the mood Kiriko and the others must be in.

    Airi: I couldn’t agree more.

    Seto: I had no idea those girls were spies.

    Washu: Oh you knew, and by the way, it seems you didn’t invite Tokimi. Any reason?

    Seto: Let’s just say I didn’t want a goddess interfering.

    Washu: I thought so.

    Seto: Now Washu you know as well as I do that Seina can help them and that the Rezma Union would make a great ally.

    Washu: Indeed, but on their wedding day?

    Ayeka: Yes Grandmother…I can say that I would be a little warm if someone interrupted my wedding like that.

    Ryoko: Hell, if someone interrupted me and Tenchi’s wedding I’d destroy them.

    Ayeka: And since when was it decided that you would marry Tenchi!

    Ryoko: Since he was this tall (motions with her hand)

    Ayeka: Oh yeah!

    Ryoko: Yeah! You wanna go princess! (Starts to form an energy ball in each hand)

    Noike: Girls that’s enough! (they stop) I swear we can’t take you anywhere. Hello mother, I understand why you did it, but I can’t say I agree with the timing either.

    Seto: I understand dear. I didn’t expect anyone to like what happened. But don’t worry, it will all work out in the end. Where’s Yosho?

    Tenchi: Oh you know Grandpa. He has never liked big social events.

    Seto: Like it or not, one of these days he will have to return to take the throne. Asuza’s not as young as he used to be.

    Airi: Don’t worry Lady Seto. He’ll come around; it’s just going to take some time.

    Seto: Well I must be off. Take care Tenchi.

    Tenchi: You too Lady Seto. Take care Airi.

    Airi: (Steps closer and embraces Tenchi) You too Tenchi. (She lets go) I’ll see you soon. Yosho and I have some discussing to do. Farewell.

    Seto, Airi, and Mikami walk away, but Mikami pauses and turns to Mihoshi.

    Mikami: Mihoshi, may I borrow you for a moment?

    Mihoshi: Sure Aunt Mikami. I’ll be back everyone.

    Mikami and Mihoshi leave.

    Washu: What a wedding. So Tenchi, when are you gonna tie the knot.

    Tenchi: Ha ha ha, you’re funny Washu.

    Sasami: Look Tenchi, it’s mother and father! Mommy, Daddy!

    Asuza and Misaki turn around and see Sasami. They start to walk towards her.

    Ryoko: Oh no! Hide me Tenchi! (Ryoko ducks behind Tenchi peeking over his shoulder)

    Tenchi: It’s okay Ryoko, just keep your wisecracks to a minimum and you’ll be all right.

    Washu: Yeah, don’t be such a baby “little Ryoko” ha ha ha ha.

    Asuza and Misaki reach the group.

    Asuza: Sasami, Ayeka, … Tenchi.

    Tenchi: (Bows to Asuza and Misaki) Greetings Emperor, how are you?

    Asuza: (Turns to Misaki) At least the boy has some manners.

    Misaki: (To her husband) Oh come now he’s a fine young man. (embraces Tenchi) There’s no need for the formality, how have you been Tenchi?

    Tenchi: Oh all right I guess.

    Misaki: That’s good (spotting Sasami) Oh Sasami!

    Sasami: Mommy! (they embrace)

    Ayeka: Hello Mother, good to see you and father are doing well.

    Misaki glares at Ayeka.

    Ayeka: Um…I…mean…Mommy!

    Misaki: I missed you too, “Little Ayeka.” (they embrace) Oh, Ryoko!

    Ryoko: (Winces at the sound of her name) Um…how…are…you…ungh

    Misaki lets go of Ayeka and strongly embraces Ryoko.

    Ryoko: Nice…to…see…you…too…

    Washu: Hello Lady Misaki.

    Misaki: (Releases Ryoko who ducks back behind Tenchi) Oh, hello Miss Washu.

    Tenchi: Where’s Lady Funaho?

    Misaki: (Turning around) She was right behind us. Sister!

    Funaho: (Seeing Misaki across the room) Yes! (crosses the floor to where Misaki is) I turned around and you were gone. You didn’t even tell me where you were going.

    Tenchi: Hello Lady Funaho.

    Catching sight of Tenchi, Funaho becomes temporarily speechless.

    Ayeka: Auntie Funaho?

    Funaho: My, Tenchi…you’ve grown. You look well.

    Tenchi: Thank you, as do you.

    Mihoshi returns.

    Mihoshi: I’m back, what did I miss?

    Tenchi: Oh nothing, we were just leaving.

    Mihoshi: Oh, okay. Goodbye everybody.

    Tenchi: Take care Lady Funaho, Lady Misaki, Emperor Asuza.

    Funaho: Sorry you must leave so soon. Have a safe trip home.

    Misaki: Take care! Bye-bye! Behave yourselves!

    Asuza: Yes, take care.

    Tenchi and the girls approach the exit of the reception hall, but are stopped by Seiryo.

    Seiryo: Farewell Tenchi. As surprised as you may be by my behavior I can assure you it’s no trick. Seina taught me a lot about the character of you earthlings. If you ever need anything from the Tennan family, let me know.

    Tenchi: Thank you Seiryo. Wonderful party by the way.

    Seiryo: Why thank you. I will not delay you any longer. (Seiryo steps aside)

    Tenchi: Later Seiryo.

    Tenchi and the girls leave. A slender figure walks up behind Seiryo and puts her arms around him.

    Komachi: That was very noble of you Seiryo Tennan. To make up with Tenchi like that. I hope you meant what you said.

    Seiryo: I did. Seina’s bad luck may be annoying, but his conviction to go on is unmatched. I see that now.

    Komachi: I’m so proud of you.

    Ryo-ohki pulls away from the dock and blasts off toward Earth.

    Tenchi: So Mihoshi, what did Mikami want?

    Mihoshi: Oh she was just telling me to be careful, that there were a lot of strange things going on, and something about a “destroyer of worlds” but I phased out halfway through the conversation and next thing I knew Aunt Mikami was walking away.

    Ryoko: Sounds about right, every time Mihoshi gets to the good part she blanks.

    Ayeka: Never mind that. Washu, even if there was a dangerous person crossing the galaxy couldn’t you stop it?

    Washu: More or less. I’ll check the scanners when we get back, but right now I’m famished.

    Noike: Sasami and I will whip up a snack when we get back.

    Ryo-ohki: Mia mow?

    Noike: Yes you can have some carrots Ryo-ohki.

    Ryo-ohki: Meow!

    The group lands on earth and goes inside where they find Tenyo and Noboyuki talking.

    Tenchi: Hey sis, what’s up?

    Tenyo: Tenchi, I’ve got something I need to talk to you about. Can we go for a walk?

    Tenchi: Sure, I finished all my chores before we left so I’ve got some free time.

    Sasami: Don’t be too long. It’ll only take about thirty minutes to get food ready.

    Tenyo: Don’t worry, I won’t keep him too long.

    Sasami and Noike disappear into the kitchen with Ryo-ohki in her child form close behind. Washu heads to her lab while Ryoko, Ayeka, and Mihoshi take over the t.v. forcing Noboyuki to leave the room mumbling something about unfinished work. Tenchi and Tenyo approach the front door to leave.

    Ryoko: Hurry back Tenchi! Miss you already!

    Ayeka: Yes Tenchi, I wouldn’t be able to eat without you.

    Ryoko: That would probably do you some good “Princess Porker” Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

    Ayeka: What’s that supposed to mean Ryoko!

    Tenyo couldn’t help but giggle as Tenchi quickly ushered her outside before World War III got under way.

    Tenyo: Those two are unbelievable. (giggling)

    Tenchi: (Sighs) Yea. So where are we going?

    Tenyo: Why don’t you pick which way we go and I’ll steer the conversation.

    Tenchi: Okay, let’s go this way.

    Tenchi and Tenyo begin walking down a path

    Tenyo: So Tenchi, Dad has gotten remarried and you’ve found yourself a much bigger family than I think you could have ever hoped for.

    Tenchi: (Sighs) Yeah, I had never imagined things could get this complicated.

    Tenyo: What will you do next?

    Tenchi: What do you mean sister?

    Tenyo: With your life. I mean Grandpa’s old, but there’s no reason for you to have to take over the shrine any time soon and you’re approaching graduation in a few months. What’s next?

    Tenchi: Well, I don’t know sis… (Tenchi looks to the sky) So much has happened lately I’ve just been trying to keep up.

    Tenyo: Well I have a suggestion. You could go to the Galaxy Police Academy.

    Tenchi: The Galaxy Police Academy?

    Tenyo: Yeah, all of us have been. Grandpa, me, Mihoshi, Noike, Airi, even Seina and your cousin Kiriko. What do you think?

    Tenchi: Well space is fun, but in the end I just really enjoy the Earth. Being able to work in the fields, it kind of feels right ya know. And while they give me more stress than I know what to do with, I couldn’t leave the girls.

    Tenyo: Well that brings me to my next question. Which one are you going to pick?

    Tenchi: Oh no, not you too sis.

    Tenyo: Well you know they aren’t gonna wait forever Tenchi.

    Tenchi: I know, but I love them all so much I’d hate to lose any of them.

    Tenyo: So if you had to choose right now you’d be completely lost?

    Tenchi: I hope that doesn’t happen because I wouldn’t know where to begin.

    Tenchi and Tenyo pause on their walk. Tenyo looks to her left and starts giggling. Tenchi turns around to look at her.

    Tenchi: What’s so funny sis?

    Tenyo: Hmm…look where you led us to.

    Tenchi looks and his eyes get big with astonishment.

    Tenchi: It’s… Ryoko’s cave.

    Tenyo: You’ve spent a lot of time here haven’t you?

    Tenchi: Yeah. (Tenchi sits down on the steps and remembers all the times he came to the cave to clear his mind) Anytime I needed to think about things I came here. Ryoko told me once how her astral form was here…with me… I guess It was her love that always made this place feel so warm.

    Tenyo: Her love for you is powerful alright. She blindly faced Kagato to avenge you. Washu told me that was the purest and fiercest Ryoko has ever been. But what about Ayeka? She went with you to rescue Ryoko, her rival, both from Kagato and Dr. Clay. She loves you enough to do something she didn’t want for you.

    Tenchi: How did you know all that?

    Tenyo: Hey, I may not have been able to go through everything with you but don’t think I haven’t been keeping tabs on my little brother. Both Ryoko and Ayeka would do just about anything for you.

    Tenchi: (Bows his head and slumps his shoulders) I know, I have feelings for both of them. That’s what makes it so hard. I couldn’t live without them.

    Tenyo: Tenchi, you’re shaking. Tell me how you feel. (laying her hand on his shoulder)

    Tenchi: I’m scared.

    Tenyo: Scared?

    Tenchi: Yes, the way they fight all the time. I’m scared I’ll lose one. (Tenchi looks up at his sister with tears brimming in his eyes)

    Tenyo: So you feel for more than one?

    Tenchi: (Just nods his head)

    Tenyo: Well what do you feel for Ryoko? Is it lust or need?

    Tenchi: Anytime I’m around her I feel like…like…I belong and I never want to lose that.

    Tenyo: Then why do you run away from her?

    Tenchi: Ha, if I tell her, she’ll flaunt it in front of Ayeka and that will hurt her.

    Tenyo: Yes, choosing Ryoko would have some interesting consequences. So you love her?

    Tenchi: Yes.

    Tenyo: You should not string them along then, if your heart lies with one and not the other…

    Tenchi: But I love her too. I love them both, Ryoko and Ayeka. If I ever lost them my life would not be complete.

    Tenyo: (Looks at Tenchi with compassion)

    Tenchi: Every time they fight, I’m scared that I might loose on of them or both! I’m scared sis.

    Tenyo: (Notices the tears welling up in his eyes) What do you plan to do about it?

    Tenchi: I don’t know. (looking back down at the ground) I can’t choose them both.

    Tenyo: And why not? Asuza has two wives.

    Tenchi: But Earth doesn’t recognize that sort of thing.

    Tenyo: Then why stay on Earth?

    Tenchi: Ha ha ha, and what? Go to Jurai?

    Tenyo: (Shrugs her shoulders) Why not?

    Tenchi: Think about it, how would the people of Jurai feel about me coming there with not just Ayeka, but Ryoko? Grandpa told me about the general attitude of Jurai towards Earthlings. They don’t like them, much less Ryoko. How can I force her to go back there? It will start a war. Grandpa told Ayeka that the people would never accept him, so why would they accept me. And furthermore how could they…

    Tenyo: Okay. I’ll admit I didn’t take some of those things into account. Let me think about it, I’ll help you come up with a solution.

    Tenchi: I don’t know if I’m up to sharing myself with the both of them.

    Tenyo: Hey if you think you’ve got it bad just think of poor Seina. He’s got eight wives.

    Tenchi: Yeah, I don’t envy him.

    Tenyo: If that’s how you feel you have to try Tenchi. You never know, they might surprise you.

    Tenchi: Thanks sis.

    Tenchi hugs Tenyo who after being a little caught off guard hugs Tenchi back.

    Tenchi: I’ll go tell them now before I lose my nerve.

    Tenyo: You head back, I’m gonna stop by the shrine and see Grandpa for a minute.

    Tenchi: Okay, see ya soon sis.

    Tenchi heads back down the path to the house while Tenyo heads up to the shrine.

    Tenyo: If anyone will have the answer, Grandpa will.

    Tenyo gets to the door of Katsuhito’s office and knocks.

    Katsuhito: Who is it?

    Tenyo: It’s me Grandpa.

    Katsuhito: Tenyo? Come in.

    Tenyo opens the door and walks in shutting it behind her. She sits down in the middle of the floor across from where Katsuhito is sitting.

    Tenyo: Can we talk Grandpa?

    Katsuhito: Sure, what’s on your mind?

    Tenyo: Well it’s about Tenchi. You see he’s made up his mind which of the girls he’s going to choose.

    Katsuhito: Oh, which one is he going to choose?

    Tenyo: Ha, well that’s the problem. He’s not choosing just one.

    Tenyo then tells Katsuhito everything that Tenchi told her.

    Katsuhito: (Katsuhito’s eyes lose their gentleness) He’s right.

    Tenyo: About what?

    Katsuhito: They would never accept him, or her. It would cause a war.

    Tenyo: No, it wouldn’t! We’ll tell them the truth, she’s not that bad, she…

    Katsuhito: What good is the truth? Tenchi told me how Ayeka attacked him and Ryoko without provocation, even though she knew the Statute of Limitations had taken effect. Her guardians even knew better.

    Tenyo: (Looking down) We can make them understand.

    Katsuhito: Oh, and how?

    Tenyo: (Looking up at Katsuhito defiantly) I don’t know, but if he loves them both we can make them understand.

    Katsuhito: How many will you kill to make them see your point?

    Tenyo: What!

    Katsuhito: If they don’t understand how will you make them? And if they rebel against Ayeka’s rule like some did against father, how many will you kill to force them to understand? Because my mother was not of Jurai, many lives were lost before those that opposed her left Jurai. She was not even given any power at that time, she was merely his wife. How many will rebel against Tenchi?

    Tenyo: (Looked back down at the floor)

    Katsuhito: What do you think the people will do if an Earthling returns to Jurai to claim the throne with the very one that nearly destroyed it?

    Tenyo: (Tears welling in her eyes) But that was a long time ago.

    Katsuhito: Did that make any difference to Ayeka?

    Tenyo: (Tears running) No.

    Katsuhito: What do you suggest then? He cannot stay here and choose them both, and he cannot go there and choose them both.

    Tenyo: (Tears still running looking at Katsuhito) Then they’ll go away! To a place that accepts them, all three of them.

    Katsuhito: And what of Ayeka’s responsibilities? Do you think she’ll turn her back on her people?

    Tenyo: (Slumping her shoulders and sighing) You may be right. (Getting up) Thank you for your wisdom Grandpa.

    Katsuhito: Think about what I said.

    Tenyo leaves the office. Wiping her eyes with her sleeve, she starts walking back toward the house but she couldn’t get Katsuhito’s questions out of her head.

    Katsuhito: ‘Then what do you suggest?’

    Tenyo: Damn it, I don’t know!

    Katsuhito: ‘And what of Ayeka’s responsibilities?’

    Tenyo: (Lowering her head) I don’t know.

    Katsuhito: ‘Do you think she’ll turn her back on her people?’

    Tenyo: (Tears began falling down her face again) I don’t know.

    "For the curse of life is the curse of want. And so, you peer... Into the fog, in hope of answers."
Viewing 7 reply threads
  • Replies
      Kiyoka
      Member
      Goodness. I wasn’t expecting screenwritting.

      Usually I’ve seen script format for fics. Which I suppose is similar. Script I find using past tense and looking like a story minus the script format for names. But screenwriting? That’s a first.

      I had to google examples of screenwriting as I had no idea what I’m supposed to look for. Your chapter lacks alot of detail when its describing actions. If you showed this to a non Tenchi fan or someone not too familiar with the characters they would of likely been lost as to how these characters say their lines. I can picture their actions in your chapter whenever there’s no action text though because I’m well versed in their behaviour.

      There were a few hit and misses with behaviour I reckon. But mostly they were in character.

      shadowsfall0
      Participant
      none
      Il admit I didn’t go too deep into action description or behavior , mainly for the fact of people knowing the show itself. If it was brand new(like my personal Violetta X ) I detail it a lot more. I may have needed a bit more time but that was what I made was a pretty decent opening. Haha but I do know I need a professional editor Soon regardless.
      "For the curse of life is the curse of want. And so, you peer... Into the fog, in hope of answers."
      Llwchwr
      Member
      Ok after postponing it for a few days i got round to reading it. First off the bat is with it being in screenwriting form it looks quite daunting to read as it is just one large block of text, that is why i have only just gotten around to reading it. Secondly i will have to echo what my master said, i don’t know how screenwriting should be set out but i just feel it is missing crucial details on the actions of the people, the setting and so on. You make the point that people who know the characters will know what is going on but i don’t think that is an excuse for missing out details.

      All in all i like the story and it seems to be progressing well with the character’s dialogue being true and proper. I will continue reading this and am looking forward to how it turns out.

      Anonymous
      Guest
      I have to say right away, absolute Kudos for going right for the Tenchi chooses / Jurai future, side of things that we were so alluded to in the end of OVA2. This is something I think OVA3 should have done right from the get go and something I’ve even thrown around ideas for (Which aren’t too far from your own, especially the war breaking out part if Tenchi chose multiple wives) guess that just means the fans have a really good idea of where things should go.

      To be honest I don’t think there was really all that lack of detail like others have mentioned, could it have used an extra adjective or 2 and a bit more clarity on setting? sure, but from top to bottom I knew where I was in text.

      Something you did remarkably well (dare I say perfectly, though not necessarily too hard for those really in tune with the show) is keep the cast in character. Everyone acted exactly how I expected them to. “Princess Porker” made me chuckle, lol

      However, this is also a bad thing, because it highlights just how much the “GXP” characters have no place in the OVA, it’s too crowded, It’s a task in itself to just have the main cast running around, but when you have Seto,Airi,Tennyo, Noike, and on and on and on, there’s just too many people. That’s not your fault, that’s Kajishima’s.

      To launch off of this, I liked that you had them leave right off the bat, lol Screentime is important, and if it’s not the main cast or plot related, just don’t do it.

      One thing that I LOVE that you did was give Tennyo some character, one of, if not the biggest reason I couldn’t get into the extra characters, was they had no character, they were literally “Mary Sue” characters, they were completely one dimensional. That’s not to say I hate them, I COULD love them if you give me a reason to (well…..Maybe not Seto or Noike, that ship has sailed and I don’t think it’s coming back) but having Tennyo talk with Tenchi as a true sister, and having her deal with Katsuhito/Yosho, is the character development that she really needed, and I actually felt sympathy for her when she was crying about Tenchi’s predicament, it made me feel like she had really been there the whole time AND THATS THE KEY.

      And like I said before, having Tenchi choose, and FINALLY getting around to that is something that has always been around and needs addressed like the Black Plague. I think the nature by which you are going about it so far is something I would definitely watch. I’m impressed, to make sense of the OVA and still keep it’s roots while maintaining a modern perspective of the group is not impossible, but to pull off is a whole nother beast entirely.

      If you ever need any help or ideas, feel free to shoot me a pm or something, I really like the direction you’ve taken and hope to read more in the future!

      evilpii
      Participant
      none
      This chapter centers on the events directly following Seina’s wedding at the end of GXP. In particular, Tenchi reflects on his own romantic situation and how to solve its ultimate puzzle.

      Overall, the characterization seemed fairly consistent with the previous incarnations of OVA, though I will say that the rapid cameos by so many characters seemed a bit overwhelming. This actually leads to my first issue with the piece, its lack of description. Mainly, this would consist of perhaps a brief reminder of who a character is and why he/she is important, especially for one-shot or minor characters. Likewise, some description could firmly establish the setting as post-OVA3/GXP, which is obviously implied. Also, more description can make the story feel more full and immersive by showing the reader what you imagine. Naturally, there is an upper limit, where description overwhelms the action, but for an introductory chapter, I do not see this as much of a problem.

      As others have mentioned, the presentation of the piece could use some work. A few grammatical errors exist here and there, but the main issue I had was the format. As someone who has written in drama script before, I have heard the criticism against the format, but I believe it is a perfectly viable medium. However, while dialogue is the strength of the format, one must also include scene directions and set descriptions to show the environment and how the cast interacts with it. Also, text spacing can help readability. Here are a couple URLs to guides on writing drama that might be useful.

    • http://www.caryplaywrightsforum.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/CPF_play_formatting2.pdf” class=”bbcode_url”>http://www.caryplaywrightsforum.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/CPF_play_formatting2.pdf

    • http://2012.scriptfrenzy.org/howtoformatastageplay” class=”bbcode_url”>http://2012.scriptfrenzy.org/howtoformatastageplay
    • I did enjoy seeing Tennyo portrayed as a concerned sister figure, as opposed to the looney messenger she was in OVA3, particularly considering her plea to Katsuhito. Yet, the entire discussion raised some questions that might need to be addressed. Considering that Yosho himself is of mixed blood, why can he become emperor, given that there is some existing “racism” or “speciesism” on Jurai against Terrans? While Katsuhito did mention this in OVA 1 Episode 5, the entire topic seems to have been dropped throughout the series proper, save Seiryo being an ass. Granted, I could see Jurai having trouble accepting Ryoko as Tenchi’s wife, but what problem would they have with Tenchi himself? Similarly, I am interested in the uprising and bloodshed to which you allude when Azusa married Funaho. Is there precedent for this?

      Lastly, why can Tenchi not marry both Ryoko and Ayeka on Earth? There is polygamy on Earth, though not as prevalent as seemingly on Jurai. Are you referring only to Japanese custom here?

      Again, the piece overall had a good concept, though I believe it could use some editing and fleshing out. [nagi3]

    NinjaboyMMGN
    Member
    Besides some of the screenwriting issues… This was amazing. I don’t have much to say, but this is how I’d see it go down myself. Oh and if you want to continue using this format of writing I recommend getting a screen-play writing program. I use Celtx for my video game scripts. It has everything you need –https://www.celtx.com/products.html

    EDIT: Checking out Chapter 2 now! bth_MIHOSHI212121

    ookamilord
    Participant
    i enjoyed it alot and i had similar theories and ideas after gxp. all in all i didnt have any problems with the way it was presented in the format. im used to reading this format from time to time when i was a needed in order to pass high school. i can criticize much when my grades in language are is barely a C in the grade books. i didnt have much problem with this chapter. i heard all of the voice actors speaking these lines and at one point an opening and ending theme song came into play along with an old 90’s BK commercial. lol
    segaman4
    Member
    nice screenwritng.it actually feel like a new tenchi episode .and still classic with the ryoko and ayeka rivalry, kiyonesmile1
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