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- October 20, 2014 at 1:53 AM
This is the Alt ending version, if you would like to read the other, let me know“> [/color] In the darkness of deep space there floated a gigantic white diamond with swords skewered through it and chains wrapped around it, inside is a figure of a woman with long hair. appears Tokimi in front of the prison.
she asks.“How’ve you been Talla?”the woman stands and in a voice like mileena from mortal kombat, she greets Tokimi
“Sister~ what a surprise.~”“After centuries of being in there from us imprisoning you, I’m surprised you still call me sister.”“well you can’t choose family can’t you? What brings you here anyway? after so long.”“merely seeing how’ve you been. washu and tsunami were wondering how you are as well.” Talla bangs against the crystal wall, showing her face in full view like behind a window.“Washu.. yes..” she gives this wide crazed grin“I’ll never forget washu~”“main reason why I’m in here.~ is this the why you came to visit? to remind me why I’m in this prison? or do my dear sisters miss me?~”“So, judging by your attitude, you still wish to control reality.”“Hehe~ I use to have that power.~”” But we’ve taken that away and separated it to make our own champions from it.”“But only one has it.~”“how’d you-““I’ve been listening to every being in reality… it’s all that I can do from in this rock. so tell me what does this tenchi look like?”“. . .I shall take my leave then” Talla is now the form of a child“Nee-chan!~”“Please don’t leave me alone!~ Nee-chan!” Talla speaks in her normal voice“… hmph you act so much like a child that you have to take the form of one?”“Like you haven’t been taking that form? (making fun of times Tokimi was in child form herself) besides I’m happy that it was you that came Tokimi..”“why?” Talla thrusts her arms up and the whole giant Crystal shatters in to pieces, Tomiki was in shock of how and why, she was going to disappear but Talla stops her by the snatch of her neck.“*giggle* I’ve always found you….*evil grin* the weakest.” Talla leans her head near Tokimi’s to speak to her ear“Geh.. but how where you able to…?” Talla licks Tokimi’s cheek with a serpent like tongue. Tokimi whines in disgust.“I’ve been slowly gaining power back by every century and I had just enough to escape finally, was waiting to show one of my lovely sisters and I’m glad it was you.~”“Now” Tokimi grunts, Talla stabs her hand right through Tokimi’s stomach“Geh!”“you shall know what it’s like to be imprison as I have. through your mind.~”Tokimi’s eyes go blank and all of her hair turns white, becoming weak. Talla shoves her back, holds out her hand and grips a fist. the chains flew and wrapped around Tokimi along with a few crystals binding against her, unable to move.
“grr geh, you..won’t … get away with this…” she disappears from where Tokimi is and reappearing in to different areas, celebrating her freedom and halts herself.“Oh sister, you shouldn’t push yourself so hard to speak.~ words won’t do anything for me any way~ *giggle*” she disappears to reappear in front of earth. shutting her eyes and hovering her hands, palms aimed at each other, a light before her and she tilts her head back with a deep breath then a loud moan.“hmm~ ‘make our own champions’ .. *grin* I should make one too~”then in front of her floats a human male, curled in a ball and eyes closed.
she looks at the earth.“*giggle* ~ well aren’t you cute~” runs her finger down his face of his eye. a scar starts to grow on his face“I will make a false memories of your life.”” Ooh~ even cuter~ with this I’ll be with you every where you go and you won’t know it, Ekei.~”a view of the newly born Ekei Hattori’s scarred face and only the hear the sound of Talla’s insane laugh.
*~opening song~*
We get a over view of the Masaki house and see our main hero stepping out, getting ready to head out to the fields, hovering his arm over his face from the with a happy smile
“Looks like it’s going to be a good day.”” Lord Tenchi!”“Ayeka?”“here! Sasami packed you a small lunch for if you get hungry.”“oh wow tell her I said thank you.”“I shall um lord tenchi would it be a bother if I accompany you on your field work?” Up floats from the ground, arrives our silvered hair cougar Ryoko“Hold up there princess”“You Just want to be all alone with Tenchi and seduce him don’t you!?” Ryoko floating and clinging to Tenchi, swirling her finger to his cheek“Ha! I simply wish to accompany lord Tenchi this fine morning so he will not be lonely and- Hey!” tenchi smiles and sweat drops in embarrassment“c’mon Tenchi you don’t need that prissy pants hanging with you, when you have me around.”“Heh heh I really am fine”Ayeka yanks Ryoko off and they have their tussle.
Tenchi sighs at their annoyance, walks away to work leaving them after making them behave. He was interrupted by yosho
“Tenchi, I almost forgot to mention to you.”“Hm? grandpa?”“A friend of mine has a grandson back in Tokyo and he’s having a hard time being around people because of his appearance. I offered that he’d stay with us for as long as he wished.”“Oh alright! what’s his name?”“Ekei Hattori, you’ve played with him before as children” Tenchi tries to remember and image of such a child with that name. A sudden flash of Talla’s eye spread wide, tenchi suddenly sees the image of him as a child playing with a boy.“Hm? Ekei?..”“Uhhh.oh yeah! Now I remember, what happened?”“he just gained a scar from an accident months ago and people are treating him like a criminal by his looks.” Tenchi walks off to head to work on the carrot field and yosho goes in the house to tell the girls.“Well no matter how he looks, I’ll still treat him like the friend he always was.”~next scene~
Far from the house a random foot steps in front from the view, panning up to only see some one whose face is covered by shadow.
Scurries pass is a little cabbit“heh they really touched things up, hm?”“Meow?” The cabbit gets pounced on by a little blue haired girl“Ryo-ohki?!” She looks up at the mysterious stranger and the cabbit hisses at him“Got ya! *giggle* Hm?”“Ryo-ohki behave!” The man steps forward out of the shadow“it’s alright..” showing it’s a boy same age as tenchi, wearing glasses and a pony tail with a scar on his eye.“..I’m pretty use to it.”“scar..eye..Oh! you must be Ekei-nii-chan! grandpa told us you were coming to stay with us!” He chuckles“Meow meow!“> ” and whats you’re name?” Sasami holds out ryo-ohki to him and he crouches down to have a good look at the little cabbit, smiling. she sniffs him and she meows cheerfully and licks his nose.“I’m sasami and this is Ryo-ohki, cute isn’t she?”“heh heh, looks like I’ve already made a new friend.”“C’mon we have to introduce you to everyone!”She takes his hand and pulls him towards the house.
“So do you live here sasami?”“Yup! me and my big sister! along with the other girls! all with Tenchi-nii”“Geese didn’t imagine him to grow to be such a ladies man.”The three enter the house.
he looks around at the nostalgia house“Ayeka! he’s here!” The big sister comes in, dress so formal and sparkles around her, Sasami, Ryo-ohki, and Ekei all sweat drop“Just like how it was back then.” She bows as well as he. as Ekei rises his head, to a sudden ryoko is right up to his face.“oh hello. so glad to meet you Lord Ekei.”“Ah!”“Hmm” she pats his shoulder and acting cheery“Ryoko! Grrr!”“Haha! well got admit you’re pretty cute, not as good as tenchi though!”“uhh” Ryoko sticks out her tongue at Ayeka, both fight each other like kids. Ekei standing there dumbfounded“Ryoko! You’re being rude to him!”“Um, does this happen alot?” said a different voice from Sasami’s“Only for these two fools.”“huh?”standing Washu right next to him
“Ah!”“Hi! ♥ My name is Washu!” His face gets grabbed by her two hands while she looks closely at him with a big smile“uh hi *bows*” Lets go and circles him, examining him and looks back at his eye and smiles again, claps her hands together.“Hmmm”“Yeah, you look great to be a guinea pig.”“guinea wha?” little robots of her pop confetti“But if you ever want me for something, you have to call me…*drum roll* Little washu!~” he makes more sweat drops.“or mom if you’re so desperate.” Suddenly everything goes quiet, washu stands there staring at him with red grown across her face.“mo-..mommy?” She hunches down and gripping her fists“did..you just?”“uh, was that bad? He was nervous of what was going on and she pulled in his head to give it a tight hug, his head was smooshed against her grown breasts.“did you just…. *springs back up in her adult form with sparkles in her eyes and holding her hands together, in excitement and bliss* Did you just call me mommy?! ♥”sasami laughs that Ekei has her in such a happy mood
“Washu really must like Ekei-nii!”“meow meow!”“Wow! is he here!?” Enters the room from up stairs are the two galaxy police girls. Sasami answers their question.“Yeah where is he?” she points and mioshi reacts“He’s right here.”“huh? but that’s tenchi, right?” Ekei pulls away to gasp for air and his glasses falling off. Mioshi stares in awe then springs to point her gun at him“Damn it mihoshi *face palm*”“Watch out Everyone, this is obviously a crim- *bang* Ow~”“Put that away mihoshi, that’s Ekei remember!?”“huh Oh yeah~!”Our hero Tenchi finally arrives home and is not surprised by the noise but wonders what it is. He enters to see the two main girls making a ruckus and the back of Ekei’s head.
He turns around and a flash of Talla’s grin as false memories spring up as sees his childhood friend“Uh Ekei?” both friends greeting each other.“Ekei!”They all gathered to give Ekei a greeting party, food and drinking sodas and Ryoko trying to get Ekei to drink some sake. everyone having fun.
After the party, everyone went to bed and Ekei got his own room to stay in. But Ekei was having a hard time sleeping, he tosses and turns from having a nightmare. He’s running not in darkness but everything was a white blank and Ekei is being chased by a voice and laughter.
he springs up, with cold sweat and a sparkle from his scar. Holding his head, Ekei walks down stairs for a cup of water and steps out for fresh air, he wakes ryo-ohki from her slumber on the couch.“ah!” the little animal scurries after him.“meow?”He stares at the star filled sky.
“wow..don’t have this in the city.”“meow!” He looks down and sees the little cabbit rubbing up to his leg. with a smile he picks her up and pets, looking if anyone else is still around he gives the little animal embrace with eyes closed. trying to keep secret how much of a softie he gets with animals. she meows in joy and he suddenly feels arms embracing him back. he’s surprised to see she turned into a girl around his age in pajamas but they seemed a little small for her. His cheeks turned red when he looks at her.“hm?” His attention turns around to see tenchi him.“she doesn’t usually turn in that form.”“Usually she goes to be a child.” he turns back around to see the girl was replaced with a child.“huh” He falls back to the ground in surprise.“meow!~” Ryo-ohki blushed and held her cheeks in embarrassment.“I guess she really likes you if she hugged you in that other her.”“what else does she turn in to?” Ekei’s eyes sparkle“a space ship.”“Really?! so is she and other girls aliens?!”“Haha, yeah. I forgot you’re so in to sci-fi. so what’re you guys doing out here?” She yawns. Tenchi speaks“Oh, I couldn’t sleep *stands* and wanted some fresh air. I guess I woke her *pets head* and followed me out here.” Tenchi attempts to pick her up but she clings to Ekei’s shirt.“Looks like she still tired, it has been a long day.” Tenchi smiles and agrees to Ekei’s suggestion with a nod and walks back to the house.“I’ll take her in. “Ekei hoists little Ryo-ohki up but stares at the stars a little longer. A little voice from Ryo-ohki when she points at the sky
Ekei was surprised again but smiles and points at another constellation, both continue until she falls asleep in his arms. He carries her in with a smile. but stops and holds his face in pain. a short vision of a woman went through his mind, but he looks down when she pulls his shirt in her sleep, they continue inside.“Aries, Meow”In space, Talla watches him and smirks from seeing her toy play.
“*giggle* well isn’t that cute~. . . heh I’ll let you have that happiness for a little while my pet.”the next day Ekei gets woken up by a large bang, he hurries out his room and sees Mioshi on the bottom floor.
[#BFFF00]”-sigh- mioshi why did you have to hurry down?”“Ow..” She cries from both in pain from the fall and that she missed her show. Ekei sweat drop and kind of laughs at this odd pair, he comes down after he goes to his room to get a med kit and bandages her up. Kiyone smiles at his actions“*sniffles* but my favorite show is about to come on soon~”“Ekei you’re a life savor. Mioshi! Quit crying and thank him!” Ekei kind of blushes from her misunderstanding of his helping her“*sniffles* Thank you Ekei, you’re not such a scary guy after all! even you do look mean with that scar. and I’m sorry but I love Tenchi, it’s flattering you’re helping me because you like me though.” Kiyone face palms and grows vein“uhh no problem?and thanks I think?” After fixing her up he sniffs the air Kiyone answers what it is.“damn it Mioshi.” He goes in the kitchen and seeing the blue haired girl rushing around and preparing food.“Oh must be sasami making break fast.” she looks back“need help?” the corner of his eye twinkles and he speeds on to help her cook, she’s in awe in amazement of how good he is, ryo-ohki there with sasami and her eyes have swirls of how fast he it. after that he serves them and everyone else breakfast. to everyone’s surprise of how good it was.“Ekei, good morning! You know how to cook?”Yosho speaks to tenchi for them to go do some training. he invites Ekei to have a the both of them battle
“I Herd your grandfather trained you as well, I would like to see if my friend’s training has payed off.”The two stands on pieces of wood and keeping their balance, in front of the shrine. the girls watch as their audience, Ryoko brags
Ayeka agrees in her calm tone“Ha! Knowing Tenchi, Ekei doesn’t have a chance against him.” they both laugh but silenced when washu goes“I agree, Ekei is a nice boy but I still”“Hm”They see Ekei take an odd pose to prepare himself, having the sword behind him, tenchi breathes heavily keeping his stance, everything is quiet. Then Yosho gives the signal
The two clashes bokken and jump away to keep attacking each other, then for a split second washu notices ekei’s scar shimmers line patterns. Studying in her head what it was. the battle continues and both give a hard slash and their bokken clash and shatters. ending up in a tie. both panting and sweating, but still both smile and laugh.“Start!”“You’re pretty good Ekei.”“Thanks man, not so bad yourself.”next scene he is walking down the stairs, a little cabbit springs out and hops on his shoulder and sits on the back of his head, making him look like he has cabbit ears. he chuckles of how excited she is.
her weight gets heavier when she turns into a little girl, sitting on his shoulders.“hey, want to go play?” they rush down stairs and she holds his head, making him fly over the forest.“Meow!~”“whoa! are you doing this?”“*giggle* Yeah! meow!”the both of them land and she hops down, holds his hand.
he smiles down at her.“Meow!”“I’m wonderingsomething, why stay as a kid?”
“meow? Oh, to learn to walk and talk, start things like a child.”“well do you still need to learn more?” she meant her clothing.“Hmmm I guess not, but it’s nice being like this and…*transforms* I don’t have anything in my size”“sorry.” she thinks for a minute“meow, it’s ok.” he smiles for what she says, blushes though when he realizes they’re still holding hands.“but I could try to be like this for a while.” Her eyes lit up and pulls him so both go to the store.“Um, want to go to town to find you some new clothes?”~next scene~
They had Sasami come along to with the help with her clothing sets.
she sticks her head out from the changing booth, she’s blushing, to embarrassed to show him. sasami giggles and takes her hand“meow..” Ryo-ohki gets pulled out, in a beautiful white dress. he blushes at the sight.“C’mon lets see!~” She blushes more but Meows in happiness. Soon everything became a fashion show. Ryo-ohki and even sasami became cute models for Ekei.“pretty”after they bought the clothes they walked together Sasami asks
“Do you think tenchi would like this?” he raises eyebrows“Meow meow! you think he’d like mine? Ekei?”“uh yeah I’m sure he will.”When they got home they showed off their new dresses to tenchi. Ekei smiles when they got happy when they received praise from Tenchi. Ekei gets a flash vision of a smiling grin, he puts his palm on his face for the slight pain in the scar right after. Ryo-ohki notices he’s in pain
“Meow? Ekei what’s wrong?” She’s up close and gives that curious look with head tilted. he blushes bright and waves hands, saying he’s really ok.“ah heh just a little headache, don’t worry.”Secretly Ryoko and ayeka got jealous of the praising Tenchi gave to their sisters. they looked and each other and give a hard nod
they hurry and arm lock Ekei and drag him out O_o;“Hmph!”The girls drag him to the store, had the idea that they would need a guys opinion to impress tenchi. Ekei sit’s there while they pose their clothing. He blushes at some of the sights, especially ryoko’s posing are very, risque. they return home and the girls wish had been granted. both trying to get more of the attention than the other, making tenchi sweat drop.
Ekei was about to drop on the couch, but kiyone and mihoshi hand cuff him and drag him out to do some more shopping, he having a crying face. it happens all over again. right after, Ekei backs up to what he thinks is a closet door and hurries in to not have anymore forced shopping’s. He backs away from the door, focusing on it, suddenly some one grabs his rear end. he springs up in surprise and his face blushes, jumps away and sees it’s little washu grinning and snickering.
He sighs in annoyance.
“Let me guess more clothes shopping?”“No no no, I have enough thank you.” She suddenly turns adult and poses in her nurse outfit.“Good” waving her bum at him, teasing him. he blushes but with an annoyed face, sarcastically he says“what do you think by the way?” It back fires oh him, she squeezes his head to her breasts and swings him around“Oh very lovely mommy.”“You called me mommy!♥”with a red face he pulls himself away and runs out of the room, embarrassed.
She holds up a hair strand of his she took when giving him that booby hug, placing it on a platform of a machine, ready to scan it“*Giggle* I guess he’s the shy type. Oh well.”A flash of Talla’s wicked grin
when the result were about to pop up, the screen fritz and goes static
She tries to fix the error going screen by screen all in a quick pace. Talla laughs hysterically seeing her sister try and fix it“What!?”“oh washu, its so funny to see you go crazy to figure out something you don’t understand!~. . . wish you tried to understand me.*~flash back~*
In the emptiness of space was Tsunami and Talla in front of a giant orb of light. Tsunami argues with her sister
“You’re wrong! you shouldn’t mess with reality!”“It’s wrong?! Existence of all these is wrong all they do is have the same cycle, get born and get old and die. it’s all a waste to have everything like that happen repeatedly!”“No, it’s a beautiful thing, getting born and growing up to be prosperous and passing that torch to the next generation to help them overpass them and be more successful!” Her arm gets sliced off, preventing her to do more. she yells in pain and spins her head back at tsunami, glaring, for she was the culprit that did it. suddenly, washu and Tomiki appear and stares at their sister, judgmental.“Ha not all! *grabs orb and holds tight to break it, it cracks like glass* it’s all a waste of existence. “Talla sighs, growing back her arm
the three sigh in relief their sister gave up and all four laughed together of how easy it was. Talla though gives a wicked smile and yanks the orb“Fine I won’t do it.~” the orb infused inside her chest, suddenly gives out this large pressure that tries to blow away the three.“But I will keep it for myself!” washu stands against the wind and held her two sisters’ hands and all three stood there with their head’s down and washu held her hands out, Talla freezes and her arms and legs are forced spread out“Hahaha! I’ll control reality and wipe out everything we created!”“Wha?!” the orb sinks out from her chest and float in washu’s hands“You can’t handle this power Talla.” as said talla suddenly felt weaker when light from her body gets sucked out and into the orb. suddenly washu springs her eyes open and Talla gets encased of the giant crystal and giant swords appear and stab though with chains wrapped around it. the three stand around the orb“You as well shall not have power of your own .” Talla yells behind the diamond“each of us will keep a piece of this hidden.”“I’ll get out of here, when I do. I’ll find them and take reality and delete it!” the three vanish with their own piece of the orb. Talla sits there growling“you’ll stay in there for all eternity Talla.”“damn you washu..”*~flash back end~*
Tenchi advises Ekei to go relax in the floating bath house since he knew Ekei went through a lot because of the girls. he enters the bath house in a towel and starts to wash himself up. a noise of some one entering, ekei’s ear twitches
To his surprise, It was ryo-ohki in her teen form again in a towel, she’s blushing but shyly smiling“Tenchi? where is the sham…poo *blushes brightly*” he turns away and she gets him the shampoo“Meow” he says while still looking ahead, having his hand out to grab the bottle but instead she pours it on his head and starts to help scrub his hair.“thank you” He sits there embarrassed as she scrubbed his hair like he was a kid“a lot of hair for a boy.”“um…” she stops when she realises what she’s doing.“meow?”after they both washed up, they stepped into the water, looking away from each other. Ryo-ohki broke the ice when she looks up through the glass ceiling and shouts out one of the constellations she sees “Meow! Gemini!” he looks up and smiles pointing out more constellations, like the first time they did.
comes out ryoko with a big smirk on her face and wiggling her eyebrows, Ekei jumps further from Ryo-ohki“Well isn’t this nice.” Ryoko goes in the water with her sake ready.“meow?” pours herself a drink and chugs it from her saucer cup.“you know I don’t mind”“Bah!~ You know I don’t mind if you guys to get together, I’m her sister and you have my blessing *wink/tonuge out* as long it helps me get closer to tenchi from less competition.”“Meow! Tenchi loves all of us!” Ekei looks at them both.“yeah yeah *gulp*”“You guys really like tenchi huh.” ryoko grins“of course they like him but I love him the most!” Enters Ayeka.“Ha I think not you old mummy.”“Lord Tenchi loves me more than just a drunk fossil like yourself.” Ekei looks up at the sky again, for it kind of makes him lonely to hear how much they talk about tenchi and he having no one girl speak how much they like him. ryo-ohki looks at ekei.“Hmph trying to relax princess so I’m not going to react to your talking.” ryoko notices and snickers.“meow” ryo-ohki stands to walk through the water“ryo-ohki *wags finger for her to come over* ”“Hey ekei!” ryoko yanks off ryo-ohki’s towel and ekei sees her full body from the back side, and everything is beautified vision. he and ryo-ohki both blush but her the most, hides herself in the water, glaring at ryoko. Ryoko laughs way loud, so does ayeka with her mouth covered by her hand.“hm?”Ekei is having his head down, blushing. ryoko puts her arm around him
pouring him a drink, ayeka retaliates“Ah calm down ““Ryoko he’s under age!” Ekei already taking a sip for a try, his eyes spring open and spits it out, coughing, beginning to stand up. Ryoko laughs and gives a hard pat on the back, makes him loose his balance and his towel falls off, the girls all see all of him blushing, ekei jumps back in the water. Ryoko gives her comment“Oh loosen up for once!”“Hahaha! Wow, not bad there Ekei! Still I’d prefer to see Tenchi’s.”Putting on his towel, ekei jumps out from the water and to runs out. He panting heavily. he dresses up. sighs heavily, then a voice speaks.
“~Annoying aren’t they?~”“bah, They’re good girls, eh, who said that?” He looks around“~*giggle* Don’t worry about who I am. Just know I’m some one whose your true friend.~”“Don’t worry about where I am.~ I Knew what you were feeling back there.~”“uhhh *blush*”“*giggle* no, not that. you were feeling the pain of jealousy and loneliness.~”“what, I-“ he turns his attention around, seeing child ryo-ohki there in her new dress.“meow?”“Uh hey, finished?” He places his hand on the top of her head, rubbing it.“myeah, I’m sorry for my sister ryoko. she’s always like that.” she smiles and blushes from feeling him rub her head.“Don’t worry about it.” he smiles at her.“meow meow meow…~”It was dinner time and everyone was gathered, all having a conversations.
“Oh hey tenchi you mentioned before that you found ryoko out that old cave?”“Haha yeah, it turns out that she was actually watching us play this whole time. she was the demon in the cave.” everyone laughs but ryoko who became a little confused when that subject of tenchi and ekei as kids came up. speaking to herself“Wha?! how old are you?!” She remembers tenchi then suddenly sees ekei in her memory“did I really see Ekei there too?” While watching Ekei get breast hugged by washu again for calling her mommy, she notices washu plucking a hair off him and keeping it .” something doesn’t feel right.”Later, washu tries her best in her equations and the second hair sample to figure out the mystery of ekei.
nothing can get pass her.“Yes ryoko?”“What’re trying to look up about him?” Ryoko phases out of the lab, knowing now she has to keep an eye on him.“Ah, you notice something off about him too. well he’s an odd subject, I’m not sure how long it will take me to figure something out.”*~ montage of Ekei staying with them for month or two~*
~helping tenchi with chores, like carrot field.
~ helping sasami cook food
~He being Mihoshi’s bandage doctor again, helping kiyone too since she got hurt by mihoshi’s clumsiness “poor girls”
~ him being naked and floating in the air for Washu’s guinea pig testing. she being blushy and smile, acting like she’s innocent. especially in her nurse outfit. But all for her studies to see anything about him is odd. As well as ryoko still keeping an eye on him as well.
~Multiple times the girls flocking over Tenchi and the two fight over him. Ekei looks away, looking sad. but still he smiles to hide it, ryo-ohki is always there to embrace him.
~speaking of which Ekei and Ryo-ohki always spent time together, always ending a day with him putting his hand on the top of her head, petting it.
~all while Talla watches and feeling more of her power almost completely return the more Ekei is there. as well as figuring out where the pieces of the orb are.
~*montage over*~
they’re all grouped together, ready to have a family photo. the camera fritz, Tenchi and Ekei both look at what’s wrong. Ekei gives his opinion
“ah it’s like the times before when we were kids.”“hm? oh yeah.”“yeah, surprised you kept it, it’s like when we posed in front of the cave and your mom tried to take our picture that winter.”Ryoko snaps
“When was that?”“hm? oh when tenchi and I were kid-“ Tenchi replies“Liar! I don’t remember that!”“What’re you talking about Ryoko? You were watching us right?”“These memories about him has been eating at me the whole time he’s been here. How do we know him exactly!?”“He’s a childhood-“ Ekei reacts“No! Something is wrong about this!”“You’re crazy!” she swings her arm to slap him“Grr!!” he swings his arm at the same time to block, Glasses fall off, but suddenly a white saber springs out from his fist , slashing off ryoko’s hand.“Meow!”“Gahh!!”Everything goes quiet, everyone stares in surprise. Ekei stares at his fist a white laser beam with red swirls at the ends. he releases his grip and the saber disappears. His attention looks at ryoko’s hand on the ground then up at her and everyone she sprouts a new hand and clenches it asking.
the worried ryo-ohki“who are you?”“meow?”He panics and runs into the forest “
the little cabbit tries to chase after him but Washu grabs her, preventing her from going.Meow!”“Let him go. Everyone, come to my lab!”Washu was sitting in front of her screen to show her results of her long studies about ekei, showing his statuses. Tenchi asks
“what is all this washu?” to their surprise there was nothing about his background information. Washu says“take a good look.What do you see?”“As you can see I couldn’t find any sort information about him, no birth information, anything.”a shot of a disappointed cabbit ryo-ohki with her ears folded back, sitting on sasami’s head
“meow…”Ekei runs around the forest, panting heavily as he takes a break and looks at his hands.
“The hell am I?” Ekei springs his head up looking around, shaky vision, the voice he heard a while ago speaks again, But out of his head this time.“*giggle* you wish to know?~”He gasps when sudden arms wrap around him from behind and a hand holding his chin. Talla finally reveals herself to him.
“I’ve been watching you this whole time Ekei.~ and I feel how much pain you’ve been feeling.~ *speaks to his ear in a soft voice* seeing him with all those girls made you jealous didn’t it?~” she slides the tip of her nail under his chin. she speaks with her lips close to his“well.. but they’ve always been together. why should I-“ she strokes his scar and his eyes spring wide and he grits his teeth, begins having a seizure and screams in agony as red swirls all around him. until he looses conciseness and falls into her arms. Talla grins and they sink down the ground to disappear .“No need to hide it. I told you before I feel the pain you feel.~”everyone back at the house sulk, especially Ryo-ohki, she has her paw on his glasses and meows loud, calling him back home. sasami worries for her
tenchi rethinks to how they were as kids, then that vision of a child ekei disappears“poor ryo-ohki..”“huh?” mihoshi asks.“what is it Tenchi?” the girls look at tenchi in surprise.“Ekei.. he was never there. . . he never was there when I was a child.”an alarm goes off in washu’s lab. the gang hurries in and washu is already checking the problem. Ayeka asks
Washu, keeps typing faster and smacks her palms on it as she stands all from frustration.“what is it washu?” she gasps and flings her head up the moment she sees a flash vision of a familiar smile and a familiar giggle. Washu’s eyes widen“What is this..”“no..” Asks tenchi .“washu?”~next scene~
Ryo-ohki flies through space meowing loud, while washu explains about Talla.
asked Tenchi“so you imprisoned your sister?”“Yes, it’s been so long ago, it’s amazing she chose now to escape.”“but you took her power away.”“yes but the special thing about Talla is that she could regrow her energy but would have to take centuries for it to fully return. I’m such a fool to forgotten about her.” They halted when they reached the area. Tsunami appears and shouted“Meow!” Points to see their sister Tomiki. the two goddesses rush to her, seeing she’s in a zombie like state.“washu!”A loud cackle filled the empty space.
ryo-ohki felt something odd“meow?” ryoko asks her.“what is it?”the villainess appears, long white and yellow dress, slicked back long tan colored hair a rib cage looking head piece made of silver and the same size as the goddesses. she snaps her fingers then everyone suddenly is outside of the ship but still breathing and felt normal, ryo-ohki back to cabbit form, all were standing like they were on ground.
Washu and Tsunami Glared, they attack with energy attacks. but Talla flings out her hands and catches the attacks and crushes them. Washu asks in shock
“Talla, don’t tell me you found a piece already?!” She flashes in front of washu and a energy blast to the gut, sending her flying into the space ground.“*laughs* it took a while of ‘asking’ Tomiki where she hid her’s until I realized where she hid it *looks at tenchi* the same spot where you both hid yours.~” Tenchi shouted. Ryoko flies at her, ready to attack with her saber. Talla keeps her large grin, ryoko gets instantly greeted by a person wearing her mask“washu!” the man back fists Ryoko in the face, making her fly back to the space ground.“What?!”Tenchi yells
He looks up and glares at the man. Talla laughs“Ryoko!” Tenchi leaves Ryoko to the other girl’s care and ready’s himself in his armor.“Aw did my friend hurt you?~”Tenchi slowly floats up and giving this hard mad look at the man, his saber appears in his hand then the man does as well and it’s rather familiar
the man instantly sprouts another and flies at tenchi with his swords in hand. Both battle in the same may they battle before with bokken. The man spins with the swords out. Tenchi blocks the man’s spinning attack and hits the man in the mask, face, and making it shatter. Revealing it truly was Ekei, but has shadows under his eyes and black markings and borderline around his scar. Along with an angry blank face. Everything was silent, all that could be herd was Talla’s giggle.“. . Ekei?”The two continue to fight each other, clashing swords and making sparks fly. Both glaring at each other when they cross swords.
Ekei gives no response, acting like he was a machine. They continue attacking each other, causing pulse pressures. Ekei has his saber disappears, Tenchi stops in his tracks, panting heavily. Talla orders“What’re you doing with her Ekei?!” Ekei suddenly appears in front of Tenchi in a flash. Tenchi goes wide eye and looks down to see Ekei’s hand stab into tenchi’s chest. Ayeka yelling his name in shock. As well as the other girls.“Now!”Ekei grasps tenchi’s heart, tenchi goes pale. Ryoko yells while she flies up and smashes an energy blast in Ekei’s face, making him fly back. Tenchi panted heavily as Ryoko held him and his armor vanishes and being weak.
Talla laughs
In Ekei’s hand, he held a piece of the orb he took out from Tenchi’s heart. It floats to Talla and sinks into her chest. Tsunami yells“thanks ryoko, you helped out for what I needed.~”“You still do not have the third piece!” Talla mocks. all space starts to sink in to and empty white. the Girls watching, one of them asking “what’s happening?!” the weak washu explains.“*giggle* don’t need it , this is enough.”“the universe is being erased.. but not just this one, she’s wiping out everything, the multiple universes as well.. she’s finally has control and is wiping everything from existence…”in retaliation the girls try to stop her. mihoshi and kiyone shoot their blasters at them, Aiyeka uses kamidake and Azaka to attack her as well. Tsunami throwing blasts of her own. their attempt was ruined when Ekei returns to swat those attacks aside. As well as creates in hand, white light spheres with red swishes on it spinning and throws them like bombs, blowing the girls and tsunami back yelling, tsunami turns back to an injured sasami.
The Cabbit ryo-ohki hops forward and meowing begging him to stop.
tears are forming from the little cabbit. Still Ekei stare down at her with a blank look with still shadow under his eyes.“Meow Meow meow!!” Talla swats ryo-ohki.“Oh shut up you little rat!” she tumbles across the ground. View of Ekei’s mouth gasping. ryo-ohki gets back up in her full teenage form and kept meowing in tears“meow!” Talla gets annoyed and raises her fist and swings down to crush Ryo-ohki. Her fist slams down hard.“Ekei!!”Ryo-ohki holding her head with eyes shut, then slowly open, blink blink
Looks up and there is Ekei holding the giant fist back, preventing it from crushing her. ekei, struggles, first has his head down then looks back up, the shadows under his eyes are gone, smiles at her.“Meow?”Talla shouts
he looks over at sasami“What’re you doing?!” Tsunami arises out of sasami in spirit form. Looks over at the weakened tenchi then back at ekei. Unsure at first but still give ekei a chance since tenchi wearingly says to her to trust him. The piece arises out from sasami and shoots into Ekei.“Tsunami! Give me your piece!”Talla growls and a sudden light shines behind her fist. she gets thrown back. she looks up a giant white shadow figure.
(same as full metal alchemist brotherhood but this one has hair xD)
it grabs the air and yanks it down like a peice of broken glass, leaving a hole in the emptiness to see it’s a hole to outer space, the piece in hand turns black and stars in it, along with it being his sword. Lunges at her, she blocks with her saber and the two battle. The two godly titans fight.
anti-shadow ekei flings his sword at her and she shatters it.“What the hell are you doing!? You can’t disobey me!” Washu blurts out in amazement. The injured masaki family watches as they battle.“He’s returning reality..”She keeps shattering his sword and the pieces fall to make more outer space and he keeps making another piece to keep battling her more and more. The fight finishes when the two both stab each other though the hearts. Fortunately it wasn’t only his sword that went through her heart. Talla looks down and feels his hand gripping her heart, heart is in the shape of the orb of light, he crushes it. she gasps and her body fades away as everything around them goes from a white blank and the stars and planets all to their place.
She grips his shoulders, gritting her teeth.
she begins to shatter to stars, falling to her knees. washu and tsunami regain their health from the stars fall on them, as well as Tomiki setting herself free when she regains her health when Talla’s power was shattered. Giant Ekei steps back as The three sisters group around Talla.“Why.. They don’t care for you! I created you..! You’re nothing but a fake! How can you..”Talla looks around, seeing her sisters in all watch in sadness as their sister die, they huddles around their sister, giving her last embrace, her head flings up in surprise from her sisters hugging her. Tears start to shed from her eyes, realizing the reason Ekei was able to have his individuality, is what her sister’s embraceing her for.
she fully fades away.“You fools…. *crying* even after doing all this you still have the nerve… *sniff*”With the power of the three everyone returns to the masaki house. Everyone was healed up, except for one.
Ekei lays there, dying. Ryo-ohki is crying as she’s over him.
Tenchi asks washu if there was anything she could do for him.
“.. I don’t think I can. talla was the one who created him, she can be the only one who could save him..”Ryo-ohki crying in his chest. She looks up when she feels his hand on her head again. Ekei smiles at her.
ryoko answers him“So happy to see everyone care for me..” Tenchi looks at Ryoko then smiles.“we always did..”To all surprise Ekei kisses Ryo-ohki. He drops back down. The scar on his eye begins to peel off in pieces and scatter in to the air like silent hill. Washu says her good bye to him
“how dare you leave us while giving that smile…”View of ekei grinning, then pans up to the sky.
*~credit montage~*
Years passing of all of tenchi and the girl’s adventures together. including tenchi making the children with ayeka and ryoko.
around the ending a grown ryo-ohki walks up the shrine stairs with a bouquet of flowers and Kenshi right next to her.
“Nee-san I never asked before but, what was he like?” Kenshi asks“*giggle* meow, he was a nice guy. he like to help out everyone. and he spent a of time with me. buying clothes, looking at stars.” She giggled and blushed“Did you love him?”“Yeah as part of the family, … but I guess you can say I loved him a lot more than that. meow.”They make it to the top and walks where Tenchi’s mother’s grave is and right next to it is Ekei’s. Both place the flowers and pray, Ryo-ohki smiles down at Ekei’s grave and began to shed tears.
She suddenly felt someone’s palm pet her head.
she looks up and sees a vision of Ekei without a scar and smiling down at her. And that vision fades away as soon a wind blows by“Meow?” >_< she then looks up at the sky and smiles. end.“Meow!”
- Replies
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- November 3, 2014 at 3:18 AM
This story deals with the existence of a fourth goddess, sister to the three Chousin, who breaks free after millennia of imprisonment. Naturally, she seeks revenge for her treatment, as well as her ultimate goal of multiversal destruction. Much like her siblings, she creates her own champion to stand for her. Conceptually, the story has several good ideas and potential for expansion. Talla, the twisted fourth goddess, and her creation of her champion, Ekei, has some throwbacks to
Manatsu no Eve, where Yuzuha created her puppet Mayuka. Even the repeated theft of Ekei’s hair by Washu seemed to harken back to that setting. Talla had no real endearing quality that would make her sympathetic. Overall, she seems quite psychotic and vindictive, particularly in her motives. This is not a detracting point unto itself, being evil for the sake of evil, but one wonders about if she has any more depth. During the flashback scene with Tsunami, the two are arguing over the repetitiveness of life, of birth and death leading to the next generation. Talla initially had some valid commentary about its superficial pointlessness, yet she was also quite childish in simply wanting to destroy what she did not understand or want to accept. What would she do after destroying the multiverse? Beyond destruction and revenge, what were her motives? Perhaps she was shortsighted in this, but one would think with aeons to wait and plan, she might have more depth to her schemes. I will say that her brutality was refreshing. She had no fear of causing others pain, which I think the Tenchifranchise needs, an actual villain as opposed to a misunderstood potential ally. Ekei himself seemed a nice fellow, but he did seem to fall into many of the
. He waltzes into the household, and everyone immediately accepts him, particularly Ryo-Ohki. Now, the acceptance is partially averted since Talla is actively rewriting people’s memories, particularly Tenchi and Ryoko’s. Thus, they areMary Sue tropesforcedto accept him more than just blindly welcoming him. He helps improve Sasami’s cooking on his first day there. He stands toe-to-toe with Tenchi, even defeating him in the endgame. In the final battle, he knocks Ryoko aside with one stroke. He is the one to take out Talla and become the hero of the day. Still, reading a Tenchistory, I would have expected to see more of Tenchi and Ryoko in action than Ekei. To the
Tenchicast themselves, some of their characterization seemed off. In particular, Mihoshi walked into the house and drew her weapon on an unarmed man who was welcomed into the house. Admittedly, Mihoshi has been characterized as a random character before, so this can be somewhat ignored. Ryoko was also pretty calm about this mystery man getting with her little sister, even after the demon princess started feeling the wrongness of his existence. Ayeka laughed at another young woman getting exposed in the bathhouse, after it happened to her and experienced that massive embarrassment. Even Tsunami cut off Talla’s hand in the flashback, rather than something less extreme, like reaching to take the orb away or to use a defensive barrier. Considering that this story seems to be pulling almost completely from the OVA continuity, these all seem out of place for the characters as they have been established. As to Ryo-Ohki, I was surprised as I have not seen anyone create a romantic interest before Ken-Ohki (
Universe) or Sasami ( Pretty Sammy, where Ryo-Ohki is male). It was an interesting idea, but it felt rather rushed. All in all, the idea is a novel one and one to be explored, given a good amount of time for it to develop well. Give her time to learn who is he before she reveals her different forms. How might she fall in love with him: at first sight, after months of knowing each other? This could have been an opportunity to develop Ryo-Ohki, as well as Ekei. Lastly, the format of the story could use some improvement. Some passes to clean up the grammar and spelling would help the readability. Also, the colored speech is an interesting idea, but it does cause eye-strain, making it difficult to read. Perhaps using a more traditional prose format or a full drama script format might help with readability.
In conclusion, I believe the author has some good ideas, but I believe the implementation could be improved. Perhaps having an outline to fix pacing and development might be a way to help.
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- November 3, 2014 at 5:44 AM
evilpii wrote:This story deals with the existence of a fourth goddess, sister to the three Chousin, who breaks free after millennia of imprisonment. Naturally, she seeks revenge for her treatment, as well as her ultimate goal of multiversal destruction. Much like her siblings, she creates her own champion to stand for her.
Conceptually, the story has several good ideas and potential for expansion. Talla, the twisted fourth goddess, and her creation of her champion, Ekei, has some throwbacks to
Manatsu no Eve, where Yuzuha created her puppet Mayuka. Even the repeated theft of Ekei’s hair by Washu seemed to harken back to that setting. Talla had no real endearing quality that would make her sympathetic. Overall, she seems quite psychotic and vindictive, particularly in her motives. This is not a detracting point unto itself, being evil for the sake of evil, but one wonders about if she has any more depth. During the flashback scene with Tsunami, the two are arguing over the repetitiveness of life, of birth and death leading to the next generation. Talla initially had some valid commentary about its superficial pointlessness, yet she was also quite childish in simply wanting to destroy what she did not understand or want to accept. What would she do after destroying the multiverse? Beyond destruction and revenge, what were her motives? Perhaps she was shortsighted in this, but one would think with aeons to wait and plan, she might have more depth to her schemes. I will say that her brutality was refreshing. She had no fear of causing others pain, which I think the Tenchifranchise needs, an actual villain as opposed to a misunderstood potential ally. Ekei himself seemed a nice fellow, but he did seem to fall into many of the
. He waltzes into the household, and everyone immediately accepts him, particularly Ryo-Ohki. Now, the acceptance is partially averted since Talla is actively rewriting people’s memories, particularly Tenchi and Ryoko’s. Thus, they areMary Sue tropesforcedto accept him more than just blindly welcoming him. He helps improve Sasami’s cooking on his first day there. He stands toe-to-toe with Tenchi, even defeating him in the endgame. In the final battle, he knocks Ryoko aside with one stroke. He is the one to take out Talla and become the hero of the day. Still, reading a Tenchistory, I would have expected to see more of Tenchi and Ryoko in action than Ekei. To the
Tenchicast themselves, some of their characterization seemed off. In particular, Mihoshi walked into the house and drew her weapon on an unarmed man who was welcomed into the house. Admittedly, Mihoshi has been characterized as a random character before, so this can be somewhat ignored. Ryoko was also pretty calm about this mystery man getting with her little sister, even after the demon princess started feeling the wrongness of his existence. Ayeka laughed at another young woman getting exposed in the bathhouse, after it happened to her and experienced that massive embarrassment. Even Tsunami cut off Talla’s hand in the flashback, rather than something less extreme, like reaching to take the orb away or to use a defensive barrier. Considering that this story seems to be pulling almost completely from the OVA continuity, these all seem out of place for the characters as they have been established. As to Ryo-Ohki, I was surprised as I have not seen anyone create a romantic interest before Ken-Ohki (
Universe) or Sasami ( Pretty Sammy, where Ryo-Ohki is male). It was an interesting idea, but it felt rather rushed. All in all, the idea is a novel one and one to be explored, given a good amount of time for it to develop well. Give her time to learn who is he before she reveals her different forms. How might she fall in love with him: at first sight, after months of knowing each other? This could have been an opportunity to develop Ryo-Ohki, as well as Ekei. Lastly, the format of the story could use some improvement. Some passes to clean up the grammar and spelling would help the readability. Also, the colored speech is an interesting idea, but it does cause eye-strain, making it difficult to read. Perhaps using a more traditional prose format or a full drama script format might help with readability.
In conclusion, I believe the author has some good ideas, but I believe the implementation could be improved. Perhaps having an outline to fix pacing and development might be a way to help.
thanks for the feed back. the reason I had the colored speech mainly because it annoys me to type in He she said and I always felt like I can not match the character’s ex:(tenchi ryoko) personality like how the creator made them. it’s their creation and I can’t match it.
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