What if Dagon continued Tenchi Universe

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    • December 13, 2012 at 3:03 PM
    Dagon123
    Guest
    [mod=”Dagon123″]KEEP IN MIND! This is was written almost completely as a Screenplay, not fiction, so grammar, punctuation and pacing are not going to be amazing[/mod]

    *This is what I have so far, the outline is finished, but it hasn’t been written*

    ARC 1: Space Pirate Homecoming

    So we see the Masaki Household again, in it’s typical slow, slice of life day, the gang is doing their usual things, Washu is in her lab, Sasami playing with Ryo-ohki, when all of a sudden, a giant ship appears out of nowhere and grabs Tenchi while’s he’s working the carrot fields.

    Now this shocks Washu, Ryoko, and Kiyone especially. Washu because she never saw anything on inter-dimensional radar (if you will), Ryoko because she recognizes it as a pirate ship she’s seen before and says “Why is she here”, and Kiyone because it’s the thing that brought her and Mihoshi together. Because we are primarily having Hasegawa’s work be dominant in Universe, this is a PERFECT opportunity to introduce Pirate Queen Seiran from her novels, who Ryoko Balta ripped off was inspired from. (Now technically Seiran is the male character in the novel and she is “Technically” the Queen of Darkness, but I like the name and this is too perfect.)

    http://www.tenchiforum.com/v3.0/novelh4/4005.jpg" />http://www.tenchiforum.com/v3.0/novelh4/4095.jpg" />

    So everyone is freaked out, so Kiyone explains that Seiran is THE pirate queen and that as she was a lower ranked officer at the GP, they were constantly dealing with threats from her space pirate guild, and that Seiran was always one step ahead of her, and do you know why? That’s because RYOKO was a part of that guild before she branched off and did her own thing. (DOUBLE FREAKIN WHAMMY, we get backstory on Ryoko being a pirate and Kiyone’s GP history)

    Kiyone remarks at her being so much trouble and that she was a heartless demon, and Ryoko grabs her by the collar (everyone shocked) and says “She was anything but” So Ryoko explains that she was an orphan, just her and Ryo-ohki on the streets of Jurai (because everybody hates Jurai but Jurai) and while Seiran was on one of her binges of booze and destruction, they stowed away on her ship. After that, they saw she was alone (Seiran remembers what it’s like being alone and forgotten by “these” people) and takes her on, so Ryoko learns from the best, they pillage across the Universe for years and that Ryoko looked up to her as an older sister. But if she took Tenchi, she’s gone too far, unfortunately there’s no way to get to her. Kiyone (hacking a bit from being held) says that the GP knows where she is, Ryoko interjects and says she knows WHERE she is but getting to her isn’t as easy as just walking in the front door, they’ll know they are in Guild territory before the gang would, they’d need a way to hide.

    Washu jumps in and says that she was working on a prototype enhanced cloak field for fun and could apply it to their ship and Ryo-ohki, Ryoko says no need, “We’re always welcome back”

    Back on Seiran’s ship, Tenchi is sitting down, surprisingly unbound, and even has his lighthawk hilt with him, he searches the room for an exit when a door opens to a white light, and Seiran walks in, Tenchi looks up and do…I MEAN the camera looks up and down her (I can imagine the classic Matt Miller “Ohh”)

    Seiran remarks at how cute/dashing/ manly w/e he looks and “No wonder Ryoko liked you”. She introduces herself as Seiran, the Pirate Queen, and that he was now a captive of hers for the time being. Tenchi being the polite guy he is says “Uhh hey it’s nice to meet you and all, but can I go home? I mean…” Seiran cuts him off, and comes closer and leans over getting close to his face (and judging by that pic, Tenchi probably isn’t hating it either) “THE CAMERA” shoots a quick shot of her chest as it shows her with a slightly sad face saying “But I need you, we all need you, at least here me out” Tenchi is doing that classic sweating “too close for comfort” thing he does and says “Well uh” and the screen pans out (Because I’m a director, and this is awesome)

    The gang is heading off through space, and Ayeka asks Kiyone “Miss Kiyone, before you were so rudely interrupted by Ryoko, please explain who this Seiran is) (Seeing as how Ryoko and Ryo-Ohki are on the other ship, and this is just classic Ayeka, lol) Kiyone explains that before she was a detective first class, she always had a lot of paperwork to do on this character named Seiran (and it upset her superiors who then made Kiyone’s life hell, thus making her upset, lol) Kiyone also knew the only way for her to advance was to somehow solve the case and bring in Seiran.

    “So I walked up to the chief’s desk and asked for the case, but he told me another person was on the case” and when she asked who, Mihoshi jumps in and says “MEEEE” Ayeka looks a bit perturbed and Kiyone, well….yea, I think you can imagine, head down, eyes in disgust. (back to flashback) “Miii….HOSHI…iii”, The chief explains she was detective first class, and also the (whoever top guy is)’s grandaughter, but now that you mention it, she hasn’t phoned back in days, and just as she’s about to walk out, Minato (I believe that’s right) Mihoshi’s mother walks in, “Are you Kiyone?” *sob* Kiyone nods * sob* “Mihoshi is always saying such nice things about you, when you bring her her daily coffee it really brightens up her day” (The usual Mother about child thing, this was when Mihoshi was first class and Kiyone wasn’t, I wanted to give Minato some emotion other then Kuramitsu-Woman default that Kajishima sadly gives them) She grabs Kiyone’s hands, “You’re her best friend, would you please go make sure she’s ok?” Seeing as how Minato is the Director’s daughter, Kiyone seizing the moment also looks at the chief and he says “Alright, well it’s abrupt but, Kiyone I hereby make you honorary Detective first class and your mission is to find the whereabouts of Detective First Class Mihoshi (he stamps it and Kiyone heads off)

    Back inside Ryo-Ohki, Ryoko isn’t her usual self, she’s sitting down with her chin in her hand tapping her head with her pointer finger, it’s a combination of nervousness and curious anticipation, in her head (which is projected out for the audience to hear) “Why Tenchi, Seiran?” “Was it to get me to come back?” “Or is it?…” just as she’s thinking these things Ryo-Ohki makes a Meoooow that probably reflects what Ryoko is feeling, Ryoko says “Yea, we’re heading back “home”

    Ryoko tells Kiyone and the rest of the gang to cloak and wait until it was ok not to. They do, and Ryoko and the gang head into the Seiran Guild Space. Not even 5 minutes after entering, a video panel on Ryo-Ohki opens, and out comes a familiar voice “Well I haven’t seen this cute little cabbit in so long, huh Ryo-Ohki” She gives out a happy “Meooow” “It’s been awhile…sis” “Too long if you ask me” Surprisingly there is no hostility shown to Ryoko & Ryo-Ohki and they continue on, the cloaked Yagami however, is found. Washu is stunned, how could the greatest scientific genius of all time be trumped that quickly? Someone must have known, or must have been somehow more “advanced then her” The ship scrambles out of cloak and off into space as they are followed by a few on guard pirate vessels. Kiyone says “I knew she couldn’t be trusted” (referring to Seiran, this also plants an extra seed of distrust in her and Ryoko because barring any other continuity, “Universe” Kiyone is strongly independent and only looks out for herself). Continuing to flee It pans back to the keep. At this point Ryoko has made her way into Seiran’s Keep/Stronghold, where she’s confronted by 2 guards who get ready to put up their swords, but immediately recognize her “Do my eyes deceive me? Mistress Ryoko?” “Yea, it’s me guys” they bow out and she moves into the main room. (Think the throne room from Universe except smaller and with more of a chinese pirate from Outlaw Star feel). Seiran approaches Ryoko from her throne, and as they meet face to face, Ryoko says “After all this you still sit on that crummy thing?” Seiran falls and the screen shakes in that classic anime “caught off guard motion”, she gets back up and goes to hug Ryoko but Ryoko stops her and says “Where’s Tenchi?”

    Seiran says “Oh so that’s his name?”

    Ryoko: I’m not going to ask again, where is Tenchi?

    Seiran’s demeanor changes from playfully lovable to serious quick “Fine, so be it, Ryoko I took him because after all this time, we finally found it”

    Ryoko looks shocked (eyes wide, bead of sweat) “No way?!?”

    Seiran laughs and says “That’s right, we finally found El-Dorado (Haven’t quite thought of a suitable name but it’s the Space/Galaxy equivalent). Ryoko shakes her head, “What does that have to do with Tenchi?” Seiran “Ryoko you should know more than anyone, that according to the legend it takes the crown prince of Jurai to unlock the power and fortune there. Ryoko, remembering this and having been looking for this with Seiran most of her life is excited and can’t seem to mutter a word. Seiran walks up to Ryoko and grabs her shoulders “Everything we dreamed of, everything we searched and worked for is right here, we just need him, you know how he can do it right?”. Ryoko is torn between everything she dreamed of and her current dream (being Tenchi, if that wasn’t evident, lol)

    In the midst of her shock and excitement, something catches her off guard “You told me you wouldn’t ever follow me, and how exactly did you find it?” Seiran gets thrown off and her eyes go blank, a deeper ethereal voice speaks through her “I thought the charade would go smoother, oh well” and out from the shadows behind the thrown walks good ole Z (Who I’m renaming Zed).

    (From the very beginning of OVA3, Z never had a chance, he really got pigeonholed into a completely uninspired role. So TU:2 would largely be dedicated to him as the main bad guy however he’s getting a change of clothes and losing the pink eye.)

    “Who are you?”

    “My name isn’t important, what is important is that you’re here, and one less obstacle I have to deal with”.

    Ryoko instantly summons her energy sword enraged, and leaps towards Zed. But just before striking him, Tenchi jumps in front of him, his eyes much like that of Seiran’s, Jurain Sword drawn. (I really don’t want to call it the lighthawk sword considering Lighthawk energy really doesn’t exist in Universe). She jumps back, “Tenchi!? It…” But Tenchi pursues and continues to strike at her, at this point Ryoko is doing all she can to just dodge Tenchi (used to show just how much he holds back whenever he fights back). Ryoko trips up and gets pinned to the ground, Zed phases in with his foot on her neck, a large energy blast starting to build up “Such a pity, but the wealth and power of the Goddess of Darkness (see what I did there?) belongs to me”

    The beam is about to fire, and Ryoko sheds a small tear “Tenchi…” Suddenly the Yagami comes crashing through the keep, Zed looks annoyed/angry, Kiyone and Mihoshi jump out, blasters ready, they are stunned by the sight in front of them. Zed “Galaxy Police? What an annoyance, but no matter” and phases out as they fire on him. Right as he leaves, Tenchi comes back into consciousness, Mihoshi lowers her gun “That was!” It pans back to Ryoko “Zed”

    Tenchi realizes what he’s done and says “ohh (In vintage matt miller sounds) Ryoko are you alright? I hope I didn’t hurt you?” She smiles “Yea I’m alright” she feels the back of her head, then snaps back “Seiran!” she runs over to Seiran, and she looks as though she’s a bit shaken, but ok, you then hear the words “You’re under arrest” (Keep in mind, the time between Mihoshi lowering her blaster and everything up to here is farely quick) It focuses on Kiyone now, who’s sternly in place. Ryoko and Seiran stand up, Ryoko holding up Seiran “Kiyone, are you serious? You saw what Zed did to her! What he did to Tenchi?!”

    It shows Mihoshi in shock (Shock, because other synonyms don’t exist) and Kiyone as cold as Ice “My entire career was plagued by you, always getting yelled at, never having a chance to succeed because you kept showing up, and now I have the chance to make things right for everybody”

    Just as the tension comes to a boil, Mihoshi steps in front of Kiyone, “Stop it Kiyone, this isn’t the Kiyone, my partner, my best friend,…who stopped so many vicious criminals with, me, who sings karaoke with me, and not the one who came to get me in the first place.

    Kiyone Is a bit emotional, but holds her ground “Mihoshi, this is a criminal, an A-4 class criminal, and you are a Galaxy Police officer, this is your JOB” Mihoshi puts her hand on Kiyone’s gun ‘But she never hurt anyone, she never hurt me” right then Seiran jumps in “We may be space pirates, but we’re not Jurains (Sick Burn), not one of my crew has killed an innocent, if they do, they are exiled” Kiyone puts her gun down, and it flashes back to Kiyone going in and saving Mihoshi from being imprisoned, and by imprisoned, I mean, sitting next to seiran playing video games, Mihoshi is excited to see her, but pulls her away and says “Awww’ and she waves to Seiran, and Seiran waves back “We’ll play again some other time” (flashback end).

    Knowing that she’s defeated, Kiyone lowers her gone and says “I’m sorry” Mihoshi hugs her. The bomb has been defused.

    Ryoko: Seiran, has Zed really found where the Goddess of Darkness is? Seiran says “I don’t know for sure, but not too long ago, I heard wind that someone was looking for us, saying they had found the Goddess of Darkness and who had the key, naturally, we were skeptical, until I saw who it was, and I realized why no one had answered. Tenchi, out of it as this point “So who is this Zed guy?”

    Mihoshi jumps in and explains, (Because this mihoshi is OVA1 smart Mihoshi, I always loved Mihoshi and thought she got the short end of the stick) That Zed is an A-1 class criminal, no one knows where he was born or came from, but he was locked away in a dimensional prison for killing the Jurain Emperor’s Brother”

    Seiran jumps in “If you believe the “official” story” but everyone knows Jurai will cast down their own if they don’t see them politically “fit” to rule, and think, how could Zed get into the palace if he wasn’t of Royal Blood? That place is crawling and watched from every corner. So Rumor has it that he came back to tell his father, he points at Sasami and Ayeka “Your Uncle”, that he found the Goddess of Darkness, as a token of apology for his leaving and to give Jurai Ultimate Power, but he needed something from him only the Jurain Royal family has, the Master Key, his father rejected his pleas and told him Yosho now has the Key, told him he no longer had a son, and was never to return, seeing how foolish his father was being, he somehow made him disappear into a dimensional rift, which is why you never saw his face when they showed his funeral on Jurai”.

    Ayeka goes to speak up but Sasami stops her, as offensive as it sounds, she was right.

    Tenchi says : So he wants the master key…(he holds it up a little and stares) well, I think we need to go then.

    Ryoko is all for it obviously, she looks at Seiran but Seiran declines “Even after all we went through, it doesn’t sound like all it was cracked up to be, but he needs to be stopped either way….oh and if you see Nagi? Tell her she owes me a drink, she never thought you’d come back”

    (All of this happens over the period of 4 or 5 episodes btw, there are many places that were generalized that could be strung out to keep pacing and suspension of disbelief and anticipation up)

    ARC 2. FINAL: Z and the Goddess of Darkness

    (Originally I had intended to throw in a middle arc that would play the part of a time and space adventure 2, but honestly, I thought instead of dragging out 6 episodes to 26 like Universe did with OVA1, to go the opposite direction, and have it be more focused right from the get go like OVA 1 was, and make it more the format for 13 episodes, which is the standard for TV now)

    So now the cast needs to figure out where Zed and this Goddess of Darkness are, and because I have to throw Jurai at least one bone in this entire series, Ayeka and Sasami make the suggestion to check the great Jurain athenaeum, the cast heads there to figure out the legend of the Goddess of Darkness.

    “In the time before time began, there was Kamui, the father, creator of the universe, and Tokimi, the mother, creator of life. Their intercourse brought about the existence we know today. However, before they were finished, Tokimi felt that we (Jurains, in this context but bipedal human like beings) should have the ability to become one with the gods and inherit their power. Kamui disagrees, and says that we would be corrupt by their power and for their power, and destroy our fellow man and everything around us. When Tokimi insists, Kamui sends her to our realm (dimension) where she is left with this power for eternity. Tokimi is replaced by Tsunami, who does much the same duty, except, like Tokimi feels our lives would be too short and meaningless without some power, so she brings this to Kamui, who agrees, and praises her. So Tsunami, the new mother of us (we, Jurai, humans, etc) becomes the seeds for trees of life, which Jurains can link with and live longer lives.” (Which ties in with OVA lore but used in a context that isn’t like explosions in a Michael Bay film, subtle and out of the goddamn way because it’s not that big of a deal). Ryoko then tells the Pirate lore of the endless power and wealth and the Goddess of Darkness, which connects back with the origin story.

Viewing 10 reply threads
  • Replies
      • December 13, 2012 at 9:12 PM
      Llwchwr
      Member
      I really like this storyline and it has a lot of potential. I didn’t think it was possible to integrate OVA with niverse like this but you have pulled it off quite well and given some good backstory for the characters. ###if i might add something what about including Yosho in the part 2 for if they want to find out information i assume he must have some and might be of use against Zed.
      • December 23, 2012 at 1:57 AM
      Kiyoka
      Member
      This is half of my post.

      ******************************

      Quote:

      So we see the Masaki Household again, in it’s typical slow, slice of life day, the gang is doing their usual things, Washu is in her lab, Sasami playing with Ryo-ohki, when all of a sudden, a giant ship appears out of nowhere and grabs Tenchi while’s he’s working the carrot fields.

      Giant ships appearing in the Tenchi verse above Masaki house. Cliche, but its not too bad. So far so good.

      Quote:

      Now this shocks Washu, Ryoko, and Kiyone especially. Washu because she never saw anything on inter-dimensional radar (if you will), Ryoko because she recognizes it as a pirate ship she’s seen before and says “Why is she here”, and Kiyone because it’s the thing that brought her and Mihoshi together. Because we are primarily having Hasegawa’s work be dominant in Universe, this is a PERFECT opportunity to introduce Pirate Queen Seiran from her novels, who Ryoko Balta ripped off was inspired from. (Now technically Seiran is the male character in the novel and she is “Technically” the Queen of Darkness, but I like the name and this is too perfect.)

      Washu not detecting ship: Not a bad idea. Has only happened once I think? Ryoko knowing it feels like something natural to happen, so good there. I’m not really sold on this being how Mihoshi and Kiyone were brought together though.

      Quote:

      So everyone is freaked out, so Kiyone explains that Seiran is THE pirate queen and that as she was a lower ranked officer at the GP, they were constantly dealing with threats from her space pirate guild, and that Seiran was always one step ahead of her, and do you know why? That’s because RYOKO was a part of that guild before she branched off and did her own thing. (DOUBLE FREAKIN WHAMMY, we get backstory on Ryoko being a pirate and Kiyone’s GP history)

      Kiyone knowing its the pirate queen is something we would expect. Rest is alright, although isn’t Kiyone low ranked enough? Quote Mitsuki: “Oh, the one that deals with minor incidental things?” Perhaps if you said whilst she was being mentored or something? THis is my preferance, but I’d prefer it if Kiyone said whilst she was training at the acadamey, she heard countless times about this pirate queen’s attacks.

      Quote:

      Kiyone remarks at her being so much trouble and that she was a heartless demon, and Ryoko grabs her by the collar (everyone shocked) and says “She was anything but” So Ryoko explains that she was an orphan, just her and Ryo-ohki on the streets of Jurai (because everybody hates Jurai but Jurai) and while Seiran was on one of her binges of booze and destruction, they stowed away on her ship. After that, they saw she was alone (Seiran remembers what it’s like being alone and forgotten by “these” people) and takes her on, so Ryoko learns from the best, they pillage across the Universe for years and that Ryoko looked up to her as an older sister. But if she took Tenchi, she’s gone too far, unfortunately there’s no way to get to her. Kiyone (hacking a bit from being held) says that the GP knows where she is, Ryoko interjects and says she knows WHERE she is but getting to her isn’t as easy as just walking in the front door, they’ll know they are in Guild territory before the gang would, they’d need a way to hide.

      I’m not 100% convinced. Does Seiran just keep anyone that is lonely? I think it needs more emphasis on why she takes her on. Maybe she is caught stealing something and nearly gets away from the ship?

      Kiyone hacks? Since when can she do that? In TMIL we see Washu hacking into Yagami so there’s one character that hacks. Rather Washu should be doing the hacking, not Kiyone. It seems weird also.

      Quote:

      Washu jumps in and says that she was working on a prototype enhanced cloak field for fun and could apply it to their ship and Ryo-ohki, Ryoko says no need, “We’re always welcome back”

      How convenient. Too convenient. Rather she could go so far as to have the shields modified to cause camouflage, at the cost of draining the shields slowly/certain amount of time/draining Ryo Ohki’s energy.

      Quote:

      Seiran remarks at how cute/dashing/ manly w/e he looks and “No wonder Ryoko liked you”. She introduces herself as Seiran, the Pirate Queen, and that he was now a captive of hers for the time being. Tenchi being the polite guy he is says “Uhh hey it’s nice to meet you and all, but can I go home? I mean…” Seiran cuts him off, and comes closer and leans over getting close to his face (and judging by that pic, Tenchi probably isn’t hating it either) “THE CAMERA” shoots a quick shot of her chest as it shows her with a slightly sad face saying “But I need you, we all need you, at least here me out” Tenchi is doing that classic sweating “too close for comfort” thing he does and says “Well uh” and the screen pans out (Because I’m a director, and this is awesome)

      Would Tenchi really say that? He’s been told he’s a captive and thats the first thing that comes out of his mouth? I think he’d first ask why he’s a captive.

      Quote:

      The gang is heading off through space, and Ayeka asks Kiyone “Miss Kiyone, before you were so rudely interrupted by Ryoko, please explain who this Seiran is) (Seeing as how Ryoko and Ryo-Ohki are on the other ship, and this is just classic Ayeka, lol) Kiyone explains that before she was a detective first class, she always had a lot of paperwork to do on this character named Seiran (and it upset her superiors who then made Kiyone’s life hell, thus making her upset, lol) Kiyone also knew the only way for her to advance was to somehow solve the case and bring in Seiran.

      What exacly upset her superiors who made Kiyone’s life hell? I didn’t grasp what you ment.

      Quote:

      “So I walked up to the chief’s desk and asked for the case, but he told me another person was on the case” and when she asked who, Mihoshi jumps in and says “MEEEE” Ayeka looks a bit perturbed and Kiyone, well….yea, I think you can imagine, head down, eyes in disgust. (back to flashback) “Miii….HOSHI…iii”, The chief explains she was detective first class, and also the (whoever top guy is)’s grandaughter, but now that you mention it, she hasn’t phoned back in days, and just as she’s about to walk out, Minato (I believe that’s right) Mihoshi’s mother walks in, “Are you Kiyone?” *sob* Kiyone nods * sob* “Mihoshi is always saying such nice things about you, when you bring her her daily coffee it really brightens up her day” (The usual Mother about child thing, this was when Mihoshi was first class and Kiyone wasn’t, I wanted to give Minato some emotion other then Kuramitsu-Woman default that Kajishima sadly gives them) She grabs Kiyone’s hands, “You’re her best friend, would you please go make sure she’s ok?” Seeing as how Minato is the Director’s daughter, Kiyone seizing the moment also looks at the chief and he says “Alright, well it’s abrupt but, Kiyone I hereby make you honorary Detective first class and your mission is to find the whereabouts of Detective First Class Mihoshi (he stamps it and Kiyone heads off)

      Hmm, I could see Kiyone doing this, and Mihoshi’s mother begging her to help.

      • December 23, 2012 at 11:05 PM
      Anonymous
      Guest

      Kiyoka wrote:

      I’m not 100% convinced. Does Seiran just keep anyone that is lonely? I think it needs more emphasis on why she takes her on. Maybe she is caught stealing something and nearly gets away from the ship?

      Kiyone hacks? Since when can she do that? In TMIL we see Washu hacking into Yagami so there’s one character that hacks. Rather Washu should be doing the hacking, not Kiyone. It seems weird also.

      Well maybe? lol Pirate Guilds are made up of just as much “cannon fodder” as they are elite (if not more) but it’s the potential within Ryoko and Ryo-ohki that leads to her being the “right hand man” and so close to Seiran (as well as both of their disdain for Jurai) which is what pushes Seiran over the edge to helping her because Seiran was in the same position as a child (hence the small allusion)

      The “hacking” bit wasn’t literally “hacking a computer”. I guess it’s a cultural thing but “hacking” is used to also describe a much more pronounced “cough” (as Kiyone had just been choked by Ryoko) I’ve always heard people use the phrase “coughing and hacking”, so that’s my bad, lol.

      Kiyoka wrote:

      How convenient. Too convenient. Rather she could go so far as to have the shields modified to cause camouflage, at the cost of draining the shields slowly/certain amount of time/draining Ryo Ohki’s energy.

      Keep in mind, that this same instance of Washu pulling something out of thin air instantly happened in Universe as they were assaulting Jurai, Washu says that she has an Ultra virus for the trick, and boop, defenses down. Which is just as convenient (if not more so) then her working on a cloaking field.

      The cloaking field was for Yagami, and not Ryo-Ohki (Which is why Ryoko says no need for it they are always welcome, and also why as they are going into guild space I say “cloaked Yagami”)

      Kiyoka wrote:

      Would Tenchi really say that? He’s been told he’s a captive and thats the first thing that comes out of his mouth? I think he’d first ask why he’s a captive.

      I was conflicted about what I wanted Tenchi to say when he met Seiran, but what I based it off was when he first meets Sasami, in her and Ayeka’s ship in OVA 1 E02. The first thing he says after she says he’s their captive is ask if he could go home, then he asks for the sword, despite the fact at this point he’s been shot at by them and taken prisoner.

      Also another thing to keep in mind is that at this point in he Universe Timeline, Tenchi has seen A LOT across the Universe, and defeated Kagato, so seeing as how even though he is TECHNICALLY a captive, Seiran was very nice introducing herself, Tenchi was unbound, and he also had the Tenchi-Ken (which would give him a little more sense of comfort knowing how powerful it is in his hands) so being the nice guy he is, Tenchi asked if he could be taken back, lol.

      Kiyoka wrote:


      What exacly upset her superiors who made Kiyone’s life hell? I didn’t grasp what you ment.

      I could have detailed that a bit more, but basically, Kiyone was low rank, coffee getter, paperwork person, and because Seiran was causing problems for her superiors, they took it out on Kiyone because they were always so frustrated with what Seiran was doing and how she was 1 or 2 steps ahead of them

      (IE: “I can’t believe this Pirate thug is beating us *Kiyone brings in Coffee* “Blek you call this hot?!? The things I have to deal with and you can’t even get coffee right?!?) and so on and so forth.

      • December 28, 2012 at 9:51 PM
      SilverWhisper
      Member
      I never liked the Hasegawa continuity as a whole, but Queen Seiran specifically is a worthy antagonist to succeed Kagato and maybe Doctor Clay. At one point, weren’t you seriously considering an storyline adaptation to the SNES game?
      • December 29, 2012 at 7:49 AM
      Anonymous
      Guest

      SilverWhisper wrote:

      I never liked the Hasegawa continuity as a whole, but Queen Seiran specifically is a worthy antagonist to succeed Kagato and maybe Doctor Clay. At one point, weren’t you seriously considering an storyline adaptation to the SNES game?

      Yes I was, and I currently still am ^_^ but it’s taken a backseat to a number of other independent projects.

      • September 9, 2013 at 2:50 AM
      shadowsfall0
      Participant
      none
      First off, absolutely excellent idea to continue Universe in a fashion that is a retelling of OVA-2 and 3. The Hasegawa aspects also just add extra umph that just works hand in hand. One thing I always liked to point out about OVA 2 and 3 were not only the plot structure(or lack thereof) but the hidden gems that were EXCELLENT to play on more, that never got the proper light and attention they needed. You had referenced this with Z being pigeonholed massively in OVA 3 and you bringing him into full light and detail is something I really wanted, since he had the potential of being probably one of my favorite villains in the entire franchise.

      Also kudos to the work you are pulling off in general, continuing Universe is a pretty big feat to do, especially since I never thought of continuing it the way you are/have.

      One thing that stuck out to me most, was the backstory that has been brought in. Not only do you have the Space Pirate Queen, but bringing in the entire background to Ryoko (which is pretty much absent in Universe) and going in detail more on the GP officers and their backstories as well. Bringing in this newfound depth that was absent prior is something I really found awesome.

      Also, and you have given me this comment as well, the characters and the actions they do, even the new ones just feel right, and in place; which is a key component in the story itself. Having Tenchi captured was a funny scene to me and even without looking at the comments afterward, I instantly thought of OVA 1 with Sasami’s introduction, and meeting Seiran being a similar parallel.

      My ideas though, and I am currently searching through the banks of my old gaming account on EVE and a few other sites, is the spacy name for the treasure, but other than that, I could see perhaps Zed having some kind of anti-jurai energy similar to Kain, making him even more formiddable in the long run?

      If you ever need any more suggestion or ideas feel free to message me about it and I will see what I can come up with :Tenchismile:

      "For the curse of life is the curse of want. And so, you peer... Into the fog, in hope of answers."
      • March 18, 2014 at 9:56 PM
      ookamilord
      Participant
      is it good or bad that read all of this in the voices of the tenchi cast? i would love to see this as a show. the story in my opinion is solid but would you still have the same opening and ending or a new one if this was possible
      • May 21, 2014 at 2:50 AM
      Anonymous
      Guest
      ARC 2. Part 1

      (Originally I had intended to throw in a middle arc that would play the part of a time and space adventure 2, but honestly, I thought instead of dragging out 6 episodes to 26 like Universe did with OVA1, to go the opposite direction, and have it be more focused right from the get go like OVA 1 was, and make it more the format for 13 episodes, which is the standard for TV now)

      So now the cast needs to figure out where Zed and this Goddess of Darkness are, and because I have to throw Jurai at least one bone in this entire series, Ayeka and Sasami make the suggestion to check the great Jurain athenaeum, the cast heads there to figure out the legend of the Goddess of Darkness.

      “In the time before time began, there was Kamui, the father, creator of the universe, and Tokimi, the mother, creator of life. Their intercourse brought about the existence we know today. However, before they were finished, Tokimi felt that we (Jurains, in this context but bipedal human like beings) should have the ability to become one with the gods and inherit their power. Kamui disagrees, and says that we would be corrupt by their power and that if they rivaled the power of the gods, the gods could be destroyed, and destroy our fellow man and everything around us. When Tokimi insists, Kamui sends her to our realm (dimension) where she is left with this power for eternity. Tokimi is replaced by Tsunami, who does much the same duty, except, like Tokimi feels our lives would be too short and meaningless without some power, so she brings this to Kamui, except does it in the form of extending life, Kamui agrees, and praises her. So Tsunami, the new mother of us (we, Jurai, humans, etc) becomes the seeds for trees of life, which Jurains can link with and live longer lives.”

      (Which ties in with OVA lore but used in a context that isn’t like explosions in a Michael Bay film, subtle and out of the goddamn way because it’s not that big of a deal).

      As Sasami, Ayeka and Washu continue to look for more evidence, Ryoko decides to leave and grab a drink, she grabs Tenchi, and while not completely enthused, tags along.

      They head down a number of streets and alleyways, Tenchi is barely keeping up with Ryoko. She must know where’s she’s going he thinks, and it continues to grow seedier and seedier

      Tenchi: Hey Ryoko where exactly are we going? Is it safe this far away from everyone?

      Ryoko laughs a little: haha safe?

      She stops and Tenchi almost runs smack into her face, their faces are within millimeters of each other

      Ryoko: Do you think I would let anybody take you away from me? (In a confident yet sexual way)

      Ordinarily Tenchi would probably act awkward, but for some reason, he can’t look away

      What seems like seconds feels like hours

      Tenchi: No way

      Ryoko touches her nose on tenchi’s and whispers: “Exactly”, She jumps back a little and exclaims: Come on Tenchi, lets enjoy ourselves a bit

      Tenchi is taken back a bit like tenchi would be, but he smiles, he’s been through so much, and even though he has this tremendous journey ahead of him, and a foe that seems to have him trumped in every way, he can’t help but enjoy the moment with Ryoko

      “OK” he says, as they run into the bar

      They walk into a small bar, not dimly lit but obviously a “small world” kind of place, where everyone in their knows everybody else,

      And sure enough before they even get to the bar, a certain white cabbit jumps up on Tenchi

      Tenchi: Oh hey Ken-ohki! Ken-ohki… (he stops for a second), then that must mean

      The screen pans up to Ryoko’s arch rival, the great bounty hunter Nagi, sitting leisurely at the bar

      Nagi: Well, well, well, haven’t seen you around here in awhile

      Ryoko walks smugly up and says “Well you know it’s kind of a special occasion isn’t that right Tenchi?”

      Tenchi grabs a seat and sits next to Ryoko: “Special? What’s so special about it”

      Ryoko: Well for one thing we somehow got little miss priss away from us

      Just as Ryoko says that Tenchi has the sudden revelation that he left without saying anything, and even worse, without telling Ayeka, as this runs through his mind, his face goes blue and he lays his head down on the bar, Ken-ohki pats him on the head

      Ryoko laughs a bit and slams her hand down: HEY BARTENDER, ONE FULL SAKE, RIGHT HERE

      The bartender goes back and Nagi slowly sips her drink, Ryoko’s demeanor slowly starts to settle back into reality

      Ryoko: So why are you here?

      Nagi smiles slightly: I think you knew the answer to that question before you asked it, but yea, I heard about Zed

      Ryoko then tells the Pirate lore of the endless power and wealth and the Goddess of Darkness, which connects back with the origin story of Jurai.

      “When I was growing up with Seiran, she would tell me the story of the infinite wealth and power that came from finding the goddess of darkness. Pirates, Outlaws, Space Travelers of all kinds would tell stories of people getting suddenly lost in certain parts of space, only to find themselves in a garden, with a giant goddess who would tell them they would be given infinite power, if they could figure out the way to unchain her spirit, she would bestow this upon them.

      Ryoko’s sake comes and she instantly takes a swig from the bottle: “Now that hits the spot!”

      Nagi jumps i: “But of course most people play it off as myth, of the few that ever come back, nobody ever has a map or remembers how to get back, so everyone just assumes it’s a fairy tale.

      Tenchi jumps in: “Well this Zed guy seems to think it’s real”

      Ryoko takes another swig, but much like her returning home, her demeanor starts to get darker

      Ryoko: Nagi, he knew where Seiran was at, not only that, but he was able to manipulate her to get to Tenchi, this guy is no pushover

      Nagi: “So what are you trying to tell me? You’re scared? Really? That’s not the Ryoko I know” She chuckles a bit

      Ryoko grabs her sternly by the shoulders

      Ryoko: Well the Ryoko you know would be dead if she had gone alone, all I’m saying is, is this guy is blood related to the throne of Jurai, and his power is great enough that he can mind control people without even breaking a sweat, If anyone that powerful is looking for the greatest power in the universe, he must know where it’s at.

      At this point the bar is dead silent, Tenchi of course is transfixed on the banter between the two rivals, listening as intently as everyone else.

      Ryoko lets go of Nagi, for a few seconds its tense, but Nagi sighs, releasing the tension

      Nagi: You know Ryoko I’m surprised, your boyfriend over there, or maybe fiancée? Is handling one of the most powerful relics and weapons of Jurai, have a little more faith in him

      Ryoko blushes a little bit, Tenchi blushes a bit, Nagi lets out a nice hearty laugh.

      Nagi: Well when you decide to take him on, let me know, I might help out if the prize is good enough

      The bounty hunter walks out of the bar and onto the streets of Jurai with her cabbit companion following not far behind.

      Tenchi somewhat shakes off the slightly frustrated blush and looks over at Ryoko, who surprisingly is still in the same motion as she was when Nagi left.

      Tenchi places his hand on Ryoko’s shoulder, “Hey Ryoko, you alright?”, She snaps to.

      Ryoko: Yea…Yea, YEA! I’m fine, let’s get out of here before her royal highness starts getting suspicious, maybe she’s actually found something to help us out.

      As they leave, Ryoko can’t help but still feel helpess, this guy, whoever he is, had her on the ground in seconds, granted it was because he used Tenchi, but he was so close to ending it all…

      The two find their way out back into the main street hub near Jurai’s royal palace, Washu walks over with Ayeka and Sasami carrying extremely heavy books, in a comedic fashion of course.

      Washu: We’ve got some things to talk about.

      The next shot is overhead of everyone sitting in a palace like boardroom with a long slender wooden table surrounded on all sides by glass, with the cities night lights surrounding the entirety of the vision from the windows.

      Washu begins “At first we didn’t find anything, or really, we found the same thing everyone already knew, the same origin story over and over again, it was getting quite frustrating really”.

      “BUT THEN” she exclaimed, “While Sasami was browsing through this book…” She throws the book down and wafts the pages as her hand moves in one motion down to a single page “HERE” is where we made the big discovery”.

      Washu: One myth that was completely unrelated caught my eye, you see here, this person is talking of meeting the gods through a gate, and the only times these gates open are when the Royal family is nearby”

      “Not only” she continues “do these gates bear a striking resemblance to the structure at the beginning of the stairs at Masaki Shrine, but notice what the person is holding….”

      Everyone peers in close to the picture that Washu is pointing to and notice that the thing that person is holding is…

      Tenchi: The Sword!

      ….to be continued…..

      • May 23, 2014 at 8:19 PM
      segaman4
      Member
      I liked this first chapter dagon123 . Zed and domino being the Adam and eve f the universe and becoming antagonist is kce. And then. Rhino and nagi talking about the legend espececellynwhen washy chips in makes it more intresting. Also I can feel that ovaish nostalgia coming in when I read it. I hope you continue this little fic and I hope you get a chance to read mines also.
      • May 23, 2014 at 8:20 PM
      segaman4
      Member
      Sorry I’m on the cellphone so speeling errors. I meant to say tokimi and ryoko WANT1
      • June 10, 2014 at 11:05 AM
      Anonymous
      Guest
      ….Continued…..

      Everyone looks at Tenchi, Tenchi looks at the sword

      Tenchi: I always knew the power of the sword was great, but….

      Tenchi sits in contemplative silence for almost a full minute

      Tenchi:Washu is there anything else that you found that can help us?

      Noticing that she’s standing on the table in much the same fashion as L from Death Note, Washu returns to her seat when Sasami pipes up

      Sasami: I don’t know how much it helps but in the book they also talk about a quick voyage through a sea of beautiful colors to get there, does that help?

      Washu looking through another page snaps up and says “WAIT, Let me see that!”

      She runs back over the table in almost a single leap

      Washu: Sasami, was there ANY picture in the book that described this?

      Sasami rearing back from Washu’s fantastic leap nods her head and turns to a page where two jurain nobles are on a small oar boat, and the sky all around them is a maze of rainbow colors

      Ah ha! She says “Just as I thought!”

      Everyone watches intently again

      Washu: So it’s only a hunch, but I’ve seen this talked about while I was at the academy, and read about ships having “Wormhole Keys” if you will, basically, a wormhole is an opening in space and time that can take you from one point in space to another.

      “A random wormhole” she continues “will take you to any random place, but there are certain ways to manipulate the wormhole to take you to similar points in the universe, it’s really fascinating!

      Ryoko butts in: Yea I bet it sure is…

      Washu tightens her face: Well if you’re going to be like that, I’ll give you all the short version, the description and illustration in this book are almost IDENTICAL to what you see when you pass through a wormhole.

      I surmise that Tenchi’s sword here isn’t just a sword you see, it’s also a key, a MASTER key. Every Jurain relic and weapon is made from the Holy Trees of Jurai, meaning that the sword itself is made from one of those trees.

      Ayeka jumps in: I think I know this one Miss Washu, Tenchi’s sword is obviously made from Tsunami’s tree right?

      Washu smiles: I like your enthusiasm Miss Ayeka!, but no” her smile disappears “You see only one relic is allowed per tree, but there’s one tree that supposedly “never” had a relic made from it, and that is the god tree itself, Kamui.

      “All of this is merely a theory of course, but no records exist of the tree that the Jurain Sword Tenchi has, was made from, but it didn’t simply come from nothing, and it’s powerful enough that even in Tenchi’s hands, the most powerful foes like Kagato still fall to it, surely it was made from the highest tree in Jurai.

      Ayeka jumps in again: But not even middle class nobles are allowed to see the tree Kamui, and to show that Jurai was a monarchy of the people, different crafters were selected by the Emperor to make each relic…

      Sasami looks puzzled: But wait Ayeka, wasn’t uncle Seiryo a swordmaker?

      Ryoko who has been somewhat dozing this entire time looking out the window chimes in

      Ryoko: It all makes sense now! Zed was Seiryo’s son! Seiran was right! That’s how he got past defenses so easily, No one knew about the sword because it was a closely guarded secret of his and the siblings of the Royal Family, when old man Katsuhito left, he was to take the sword, not for his own protection, but as a way to keep it from being shown to the people, and anyone else who might want it for a weapon or to find the goddess of darkness, I should have known Jurai would be behind it this whole time!

      Everyone at this point is pretty much shell-shocked by the current revelations being thrown around

      Ayeka: But that makes no sense, if Zed was part of the Royal family, why had we never seen him around?

      Ryoko: I don’t know his motives, but if we’re just throwing around crashes hunches, that’s my 2 cents.

      Tenchi who has been listening all this time and taking in the craziness stands up

      “The one person who would know more than anyone would be Grandpa, let’s head back home, it’s time we get some things straight.

      In the midst of all this it suddenly hits Ayeka

      Ayeka: HEY, BY THE WAY RYOKO, WHERE DID YOU AND TENCHI GO EARLIER TODAY, HMMM!!?!

      Ryoko: You know Princess you really know how to kill the mood, don’t you? She sticks her tongue out and pulls her eyelid down.

      Tenchi sighs while Sasami and Washu laugh, with Kiyone sitting exhausted in the corner and Mihoshi fanning her. What a day

      (Everyone heads to bed)

      Tenchi, tossing and turning in the royal suite he’s in, can’t help but feel anxious as he dreams, someone more powerful than Kagato, Grandpa having more secrets to hide, him standing over Ryoko with the sword….

      Right as she mutters out “Tenchi….” With that look in her eye, Tenchi awakes from the dream in a deep cold sweat.

      “I don’t know if I can do it this time” he thinks to himself “I can handle the sword sure but I almost got lucky really…” He stares at the bright full moons gazing at him from the window “I need to take a walk”

      Tenchi gets up and walks the royal courtyard of Jurai’s main palace, the quietness is almost unnerving, despite the small noise of the inner city, no insects or crickets or anything like you’d find on earth.

      Long columns casting shadows on the elegant purple carpet continue to hide tenchi has he goes on. When Tenchi nears the outlook of the courtyard which overlooks the city he finds Ryoko sitting there.

      Surprised to see her out Tenchi calls to her and in much the same fashion Ryoko replies as surprised.

      Ryoko: What are you doing up so late Tenchi?

      Tenchi: Well I’ll be honest with you Ryoko, I’m kinda scared

      Ryoko, who’s been feeling much the same dread, wants to pipe up but stops herself before giving her fear away so easily.

      Tenchi: We beat Kagato, we even took on Jurai’s Fleet! But there’s a part of me that wonders if it wasn’t just really good luck you know?

      Ryoko turns away from Tenchi, looking out on the inner city.

      Ryoko: You know why even space pirates who hate this place come here Tenchi?

      Tenchi is a bit taken back by the question.

      Ryoko: Because for some reason it always comes back to Jurai, of all the places I’ve been in the Universe, Jurai’s nightlife is one of a kind, truly the city that never sleeps, you’d think with miss prim and proper coming from here that the whole place would be a royal pain the ass, but really, nothing makes me feel more at home than sitting on a roof at night and just taking it all in.

      Tenchi: You’re scared too aren’t you Ryoko

      Ryoko looks over at Tenchi

      Ryoko: I’ve never been this shaken before Tenchi and I hate it! Even when I was hurt and we went after Kagato and I was staring death in the face, I still found a way through it, but this, this guy had me down before I even had time to think, I’ve never been beaten that easy before. What if he comes out of nowhere again and hurts one of us?….I’d never forgive myself if he got to you again….

      Tenchi sits down next to Ryoko

      Tenchi: Is every place like this at night?

      Ryoko smiles a little bit and coyly throws out a question she doesn’t expect an answer to: “It’s something I’d have to show you really…”

      Tenchi: I could get used to that

      Ryoko’s eyes get wide and she can’t help but get giddy and she lays her arm on Tenchi’s shoulder

      Ryoko: “You know Tenchi, I’m gonna hold you to that?” Tenchi smiles

      As the two are sitting on the edge overlooking the city, Ayeka watches from a nice distance, almost being brought to tears.

      It looks as though Tenchi’s troubles are not just with the enemy….

      Arc 2: Part 2 “Answers”

      The 2 ships the gang are in enter back onto the Masaki shrine once again, shaking the trees and bringing a sense of confidence, courage, but also one of curious anticipation.

      Kiyone: Seriously Mihoshi? Did we really have to stop off at that Noodle Shop? It’s so out of the way!

      Mihoshi: But weren’t they the greatest noodles you’ve ever had!?

      Kiyone: They barely tasted any better than instant ramen, BUT NOT ENOUGH TO MAKE US LOSE A WHOLE DAY TO GET THERE!

      Mihoshi: We’ll have to make sure we stop by there more often!

      The 2 GP officers and Washu get off the ship and head towards the Masaki house

      Washu: They really were good noodles Mihoshi, almost like they were from another dimension! I may have to run tests on them next time we get some!

      Kiyone: Don’t you encourage her…

      Ryo-Ohki lands a few meters away near the holy tree of Masaki shrine, you can see the Shrine atop the hill from there. As they land, Katsuhito is standing at the edge of the steps, his glasses complete glared with the rays of the sun….

      Katsuhito: So It begins

      Tenchi heads up to the shrine while Ryoko, Ayeka, Sasami and Ryo-Ohki head towards the house.

      Ayeka: Sasami, you and Ryo-Ohki head back to the house and get dinner started, I need to talk with Ryoko.

      Sasami nods her head and they head back to the house

      Ryoko: What did I do now?

      Ayeka looks at Ryoko with a serious face that Ryoko has only seen a few times before

      Ryoko: This must be serious then…

      Ayeka: Ryoko, we have been through a lot together, all of us have, Lord Tenchi, Myself, Miss Kiyone and Mihoshi, but every single time, no matter how hard I try, I’m always the one who comes up short.

      Ryoko: Ayeka…

      Ayeka shakes her head: No listen to me! No matter how hard I try, I’m always the burden, my powers aren’t as good as yours, I can’t protect myself, I mean really I don’t ever have much to add to the conversation! Sometimes I feel like the only reason I’m important is because I’m a princess….maybe the only reason Tenchi keeps me around.

      Ryoko slaps Ayeka and she looks surprised but then looks back down

      Ayeka: Even when he forgot who we were, you were the one thing that he remembered, the one thing he loved so much, the one thing that kept him connected to us. I thought I was ok with it, I thought I had gotten over it, but seeing you and Tenchi next to each other at the Royal lookout, hurt me so much, I can’t stand not knowing Ryoko! Even when I know it’s you he still won’t say it.

      Ayeka starts to smile a little but the tears won’t stop

      Ryoko instantly knows what she’s getting at, and Ryoko knows she’s right, even through everything, Tenchi has never answered the big question.

      Ayeka: Ryoko, I consider you my one friend, I truly do hate all of the things you do sometimes, but you’re the only person I can confide in who will understand me.

      Ryoko hugs Ayeka

      Tenchi isn’t the only one who is going to get some answers

      (meanwhile as this is happening, Tenchi confronts Katsuhito)

      Tenchi: Grandpa I need to talk to you about the Sword.

      Katsuhito facing the shrine entrance does not look to face Tenchi

      Katsuhito: So you’ve found the answers you were looking for then?

      Tenchi: I found some, but I need to know about Seiryo….and Zed

      Katsuhito: My brother Seiryo, despite being of Jurai noble blood, had a son with a woman from another planet. The nobles, our father, was not happy about this, only pure blooded Jurains are able to accept the throne of Jurai, so the council of nobles and my father decreed. When I was born, Zed became extremely jealous of not only me, but my father as well. He always tried to cause trouble or make himself look better than everyone else, he knew even from a young age that he would never be accepted by the council, and never have the throne. Zed left before I became a Teenager, it was not too long later that my father told me that I was to be given something that only the Jurai royal family could even know about, and that was the sword, the very sword I used for such a long time, crafted from the god tree Kamui by my brother. I was told it was not only a weapon but a key, a key to the ultimate power of the universe, and that the sword would stay with me every day for the rest of my life, though I did not understand everything, I accepted that responsibility.

      When Zed returned, he killed his father, and even I was left in the dark about why except that Zed wanted the Sword. I knew that my place on Jurai was coming to an end, and when I departed, the key was by my side. Zed is a powerful being, don’t underestimate him.

      Tenchi: Why did you never tell me any of this beforehand Grandpa?

      Katsuhito: What good would it have done? You were not ready, it’s a wonder that Kagato appeared when he did and not Zed first.

      Tenchi: Don’t I need to train? Can’t you help me? I feel like some things might just be a fluke, I’m afraid I won’t be able to win this time!?

      Katsuhito: Unskilled, yes, but there is no technique I can teach you that you don’t already know, to bring out the full potential, you need to discipline the energy flow of your body, to truly harness the sword and unlock the key, to master oneself.

      Tenchi: But Grandpa I….

      Katsuhito: Silly Boy! Now is the time to grasp the future!

      To be continued…

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