40 minutes of a quick idea written into a short chapter

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    Kiyoka
    Member
    I duno why I’m posting this. I wrote 40 minutes straight on the idea I had I posted in the Mihoshi special topic. I’ve missed out the beginning, to which I’ll explain briefly. Set after the Mihosh special, Kiyone lays on the wreckage slowly dying. Lucky for her a stranger comes along in a ship and rescues her.

    Here is teh major spoiler! The doctor splices a Mitsu’s flesh onto her injury, that slowly turns her mad with hunger for Jurai flesh and eventually.. well.. the flesh is like cancer lets say.

    Now here’s the quickly written chapter. I took no heed to check spelling or grammar. You can’t get writting more raw than this.

    Hours later Kiyone awakens in a comfortable room with fresh food and water layed on a nearby table. Without thought she gobbles it all down and drowns the drink within minitues. Shortly after she finishes, a middle aged man walks in bearing fresh clothes.

    “Who are you? Where am I? Is this your ship?” Kiyone asks.

    The stranger smiled and places the clothes on the bed “It is indeed young lady. You are very lucky I was passing by that area” he gestured to the new clothes “You may keep those. Your old ones certainly are worn out.”

    Kiyone looked down at her scruffy torn GP uniform barely holding together. At first she couldn’t remember why they were in such a state. But the refreshing food had cleared the numbing fog inside her thoughts that collected as she layed there slowly dying of starvation.

    Anger arose from her depths with the force of an erupting volcano. Her blood boiled with the heat of magma, whilst her thoughts were choked with the consuming thick smoke of the memory.

    The stranger eyed her clenched fists and eyes gleaming with hatred with interest. “Are you alright?”

    The voice was like a wave of water. Instantly cooling off the burning fury inside her. It seemed to hiss, reluctant to fade. She snapped back into focus looking at the stranger in shock.

    “Oh…, yes. Sorry…, I was just remembering why I was there in the first place..” her last words were as bitter as the last embers dying from a fire.

    “Do you mind if I ask how you ended up there?”

    Kiyone sighed, the very air she breathed out lingered with hatred. She closed her eyes concentrating on the memory and leaned back on the bed. “I can’t relate some of it due to being classified. But I don’t see why I can’t mentioned the rest” For the next 20 minutes she related the story of how she ended up in the middle of a wreckage in space. At first she told it in a calm neautral tone. When she neared the end of why she was there, her tone turned dark.

    The mysterious rescuer listened with a neautral expression. When Kiyone finished he gave her a thoughtful stare, both at her wounds at her eyes “Hmm I can see why you’re filled with rage. This ‘Mihoshi’ could of killed you, yet you survided, driven on by hatred. I am amazed though at how someone could be a galaxy police officer with such terrible qualities.”

    Kiyone scowled “That’s easy to answer. Her grand-father in the head of GP.”

    “Ah that explains it. How unfortunate you got stuck with her” he frowned. Nearby he watched Kiyone’s fist clench at his words. A strange glimmer sflashed in his eyes followed by an unseen smirk. “It seems you have unfinished business with this person. I can spare time to drop you off to her location.” He took a short bow “My name is Itsugi, I am a traveling doctor.”

    Kiyone regarded the doctor with suprise “Thank you.. but” her eyes shifted downwards “I don’t know where she is. Perhaps at the GP. I don’t know.”

    Itsugi smiled “But you are a GP officer no? Go back to headquarters and find where she is”

    For a moment Kiyone pondered the idea “I could. Likely they think I’m dead though.” she laughed bitterly, but her face showed annoyance. “They’d likely send me to her or send me elsewhere.”

    “Feign concern then” Itsugi said with a shrug “I’m sure you can do that. You seem very able”

    A slight smile crossed Kiyone’s face at the compliment giving a wordless reply. She looked to the neatly layed clothes at the end of the bed, before looking to the doctor and giving a firm nod “Very well, I accept your offer” she went to move out the bed, but a pyshical burning feeling flared down her legs causing her to throw herself back on the bed cursing at the pain.

    Itsugi looked in concern casting his eyes to her thigh “Ah, perhaps I should of mentioned you suffered terrible injuries to your thigh. I do apologise.”

    “I can’t move!” her face twisted in pain “I’ve never felt such pain!” In such a short time her voice and appearance changed drastically. Ragged gasps of pain spewed out from her shivering body. Sweat trickled down her strained face at the impact of the furnace of pain churning inside her thigh.

    Itsugi immediatly came to her side offering pills “I see the pain relief has worn off. HEre, take these, they will ease the pain.”

    Hissing at the slightest turn of her thigh Kiyone took the pills without second thought. She swallowed them and fell back onto her back the moment she gulped them down, letting out a strained cry as she fell back.

    As her breathing eased back into normality Itsugi spoke “I can… graft skin onto the injury. It would leave no scar and most important would completly heal.”

    A shudder passed throughj Kiyone’s frame thinking of the pain again. The pills were taking immmediate effect, but would wear out. THe process would repeat for a long time she realised. “Al..alright.. Do it then. You better be a damn good doctor.”

    Itsugi turned, his usual neutral face warped into a dark sneer “Excellent. We’ll begin tommorow”

    Don’t expect me to continue this. There are various problems, such as this being the OAV that I don’t know alot about the lore, and personalities of the characters in OAV I’m not used to. However its a nice idea, and I wouldn’t dismiss brief manga pages of artwork of the whole idea.

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      wwwwhhhhoooo
      Moderator
      none
      I like it! Amazing that you just threw this together from the ideas that hit you from your posts (awesome when inspiration hits like that isn’t it?).

      Interesting characer design for this Itsugi (dunno why, but in all seriousness when I read it his voice sounded to me something like George Takei…dunno why) the air of neutrality about him is a bit unsettling and this short excerpt brings up alot of questions about him: is he ‘good’ or ‘evil’? What are his motives? What kind of pills is he really giving to Kiyone? EVIL pills to turn her…EVIL???!!! 😯 could go a number of ways with that.

      Kiyoka
      Member

      wwwwhhhhoooo wrote:

      I like it! Amazing that you just threw this together from the ideas that hit you from your posts (awesome when inspiration hits like that isn’t it?).

      Interesting characer design for this Itsugi (dunno why, but in all seriousness when I read it his voice sounded to me something like George Takei…dunno why) the air of neutrality about him is a bit unsettling and this short excerpt brings up alot of questions about him: is he ‘good’ or ‘evil’? What are his motives? What kind of pills is he really giving to Kiyone? EVIL pills to turn her…EVIL???!!! 😯 could go a number of ways with that.

      Eh, I also threw together Itsugi’s personalit yon the fly. I gave little thought to him. Also the name took me 5 seconds to think of haha. RANDOM!

      The pills are really painkillers. As for his motives, I covered in the spoiler I said :p

      evilpii
      Participant
      none

      Kiyoka wrote:

      wwwwhhhhoooo wrote:

      Interesting characer design for this Itsugi (dunno why, but in all seriousness when I read it his voice sounded to me something like George Takei…dunno why) the air of neutrality about him is a bit unsettling and this short excerpt brings up alot of questions about him: is he ‘good’ or ‘evil’? What are his motives? What kind of pills is he really giving to Kiyone? EVIL pills to turn her…EVIL???!!! 😯 could go a number of ways with that.

      Eh, I also threw together Itsugi’s personalit yon the fly. I gave little thought to him. Also the name took me 5 seconds to think of haha. RANDOM!

      The pills are really painkillers. As for his motives, I covered in the spoiler I said :p

      Of all things, I saw Itsugi as a cross between the merchant in Resident Evil 4 and Death in Masque of the Red Death (Vincent Price version). ^^; I could see him played as an interested third party, neutral but willing to arm or aid either side, just to see how it all turns out. >:3

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