Nil Admirari

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  • Nil Admirari
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    http://i.minus.com/ivIdKgRlDjSAD.png" />

    Episode 54 is now subtitled and available![/url][/size]

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    Episode 54:

    Time’s running out, Momo is quickly fading from the picture. Miss Ukan’s starting to get a little power hungry, demanding two members of the Jurian Royal Family be restrained while she runs her little ground operation. Meanwhile, Washu’s plan is to harness the power of a black hole to counteract the Dimension-oscillating bullet’s travel and effects. She must have gotten the idea to have Goriki-kun knock it back using a baseball bat from Wisper’s Smash Bros addiction. kiyonesmile1

    Nil Admirari
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    A few Ai Tenchi Muyo! Goods will be sold at a booth during winter Comiket.

    http://i.imgur.com/givGHOU.jpg" />

    A cleaning cloth for glasses modeled after Momo’s signature panties will be available for ¥1,500.

    A series of 4 file sets featuring all of the girls in a Tenchi-sensei’d envelope will be available for ¥1,000.

    Nil Admirari
    Moderator
    none
    I have to say, when I first saw the title and heard Washu’s proposal for some sort of time travel, my mind instantly went to the “Time and Space Adventures” series of episodes from Universe. Your take on it ended up being much different from my initial guess, something something not judging books by covers… Ahem. What it turned out to be more like, and I think the Summer setting helped with this, was Daughter of Darkness. We now have two characters who not only claim to be spawn of Tenchi’s, but actually are. And they’ve only just been introduced, so how their outburst into Ryoko and Ayeka’s realities is totally up in the air. But I can imagine it not going over very smoothly! I also love Rai/Kenchi’s personalities showing off who their mothers were before we even really knew who they themselves were. They certainly do take after the family!

    One thing that was a treat for me personally here was the style in which you chose to present the story. Screenplay format is easier in some ways because you cut out a lot of the fat in a written format. I’ve gotten quite a bad habit from Neal Stephenson of being very wordy. But your screenplay gives the reader (almost, but we’ll get to this) exactly what they need to know in order to picture the scene while letting their imagination direct the action. All with only the bare essentials in terms of information being given. However, I think this produces a more difficult read for those who aren’t familiar with the format. A lot of shorthand and terminology that might not make sense to the reader, which makes it hard for them to continue the scene because every word and action is essential to keep flow. I may recommend a guide, or perhaps a brief explanation in bold like this:

    Quote:

    WASHU

    (smart-alecky)

    Well, Sasami, my dear, I’ve been pondering for some time now the possibility of dabbling in…

    ECU (Extreme Close-up) WASHU

    WASHU (CONT’D)

    (dramatically)

    …TIME TRAVEL!

    In order to keep the reader engaged while still allowing you to keep the format as close to actual screenplay as possible. This isn’t so much an issue for me as I have a theater/film background (even considering how long it has been since I’ve had to read one of these), but for the sake of other readers, I feel it could help out a lot for some of the lesser understandable acronyms.

    My big point of constructive feedback I wish to give is relating to the character dialog. For a majority of the dialog, I have zero issues with being able to envision the english VA’s reprising their roles on point. However, there are some moments where they step out of character, and start using what one could call “Wwwhhhoooisms”.

    Quote:

    KIYONE

    Washu, you got some ‘splainin’ to do!

    For a quick example. I can’t particularly see her referencing I Love Lucy out of nowhere, but that’s the first thing my mind goes to. However, I could absolutely see you using the phrasing as part of your every day speech because that’s how you are. And I wouldn’t dare have you change yourself in any way. But… it does disrupt flow and temporarily breaks the illusion of character. My advice here would be to try and work your own personal style through in other ways while keeping dialog as accurate as possible. It is, after all, a vast majority of the screenplay text!

    You’ve got an interesting scenario ahead, and I’m glad you were able to sit down and put more thoughts out after almost a year (!!) of percolation. I hope to see more sooner rather than later, but I understand that you can’t rush these things.

    Nil Admirari
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    none

    wwwwhhhhoooo wrote:


    As much as I don’t want to admit it yet because I reeeeally want Kiyone and Ryo-Ohki, I think I have an explanation for the former at least. In Kiyone’s case, it’s probably not that they didn’t want to (Negishi certainly knows how to utilize her character) it’s probably that they couldn’t. From our delving into the Hasegawa novels and the circumstances of their creation (thus into the history of Tenchi itself), we confirmed something that was long postulated by a few fans: Kiyone Makibi is the brainchild of Hasegawa herself. Ai supports this because as far as we can tell, Hasegawa was not involved in its production in any capacity; nor does her name appear in the credits for, say, use of her characters (like Kajishima’s does), thus no Kiyone in Ai. However, as Hasegawa was involved with Universe on some level, it makes sense that Kiyone could appear there (for those following along, this is also the precise reason why you will never see Kiyone Makibi, i.e. the original Kiyone, in any series helmed by Kajishima).

    While an interesting theory, Hasegawa was not involved in Shin Tenchi Muyo!/Tenchi in Tokyo to any degree and her name does not appear in the credits there either. Yet we still got here there. kiyonesmile1 <-- see? She’s also not directly credited in Universe for anything but the script of the ghost ship episode, as well as neither of the two movies.

    Nil Admirari
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    GregTheLion wrote:


    Also, these last weeks have sort of… crooked… my thoughts on Ukan:

    From the beginning I thought she would end up becoming a Kagato-esque mastermind villain, but now I find she was a spy for the GP, but she still has tones of villainous tendencies. It’s like the writers knew we’d come to that sort of conclusion and decided to mess with our heads. I mean, I want to hate this character, like really want to, but I can’t find a good enough reason!

    I think this is part of the charm of her character and the writing of the show. Honestly, there’s no real “Big Bad” type character we can pin anything on. Ukan was the closest we had to that, and many fan theories stuck with her being the eventual Kagato. We saw her scraping for Tenchi’s sword (both of them) several times, and assumed there was a villainous motive behind it. They always gave her a dramatic appearance and stark lighting to further push forward the idea that she was going to be the great evil.

    But honestly, she’s just a cop doing her job. Which is to stop Washu from tearing the universe apart with her experimentation. That’s hardly blowing up priceless artifacts, buildings and planets or staging a coup of the Jurai Royal Family. Likewise, the Galaxy Police Officer we see aboard the station has many dramatic poses and is taking drastic measures, but he’s really not evil. Neither were Washu’s intentions when she started all this, it just happened to go to shit as science is known to do.

    So there’s not really anyone we can pin it on, but there’s still a lot of conflict. Who are we supposed to cheer for, if at all? Though, there’s still a week and two days worth of episodes left where someone could pull a really evil move. Then we’d be talking.

    Nil Admirari
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    Now it’s time to talk dirty… Weapons and Perks, Part 1.

    I really like the thought process behind how the Medic class works. Since Medics aren’t combat-heavy by nature, their equipment is specialized and modular, they use caseless ammo to reduce weight, and keep things low-recoil so things aren’t overwhelming.

    Nil Admirari
    Moderator
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    http://i.minus.com/iySLLuidJZ1lk.png" />

    Episode 53 is now subtitled and available![/url][/size]

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    Get out of here, S.T.A.L.K.E.R.

    Episode 53:

    The chess pieces are all moving into place. The GP SWAT has surrounded and begun to open fire on the ruined school building which sits upon the digsite. Washu’s got her pawns, Yuki and Rui, doing the grunt work of holding off the attacks, while the rest of the crew gets diggin. The GP seems to be somewhat prepared for some of Washu’s toys, but she’s got something up her sleeve for them soon.

    Loved seeing weaponized Kumo-kun show up again. Truly the most powerful tool in the Science Club’s arsenal.

    Nil Admirari
    Moderator
    none
    http://i.minus.com/ipt1TdIQ6bGmS.png" />

    Episode 52 is now subtitled and available![/url][/size]

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    Episode 52:

    So, Ukan’s got herself armed and ready for battle. I’ll uh, I’ll just be over here doing some calibrations…

    Washu’s finally shown her face (I guess she saw my post from yesterday – can you make Kiyone appear next Washu-san? ) and is taunting the GP with their foolish attempt to use her own tools against her. Tenchi’s escaped with the science club and student council, I wonder if they’re going to make a B-line back towards the dig site to try and beat out the GP now?

    Some fun with today’s episode title. The first two characters represent a heavenly demon, most often used to refer to the “Demon King of the Sky/Sixth Heaven”, a temptation spirit (Hello, Ryoko) who tried to trick those passing through into doing wrong. Oda Nobunaga, a samurai warlord from feudal times, used the name to refer to himself on the battlefield. Perhaps referring to Ukan and her prideful take of herself, now on a battlefield of her own. And/or even our GP leader above, raining down fire and brimstone from orbit. And to throw more fun into the mix, the phrasing is “Tenma”, which was the name of a Japanese satellite that was decommissioned in 1989. An obvious wink and nod to the Government’s MIB-style coverup for the dimension-oscillating bullet.

    Nil Admirari
    Moderator
    none
    Also of note, today’s episode title contains a reference to Tenma, a Japanese X-ray observation satellite that was decommissioned in 1989.

    http://i.imgur.com/hg1wWDe.jpg" />

    Nil Admirari
    Moderator
    none
    http://i.minus.com/ixUTRg6x8mLRL.png" />

    Episode 51 is now subtitled and available![/url][/size]

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    Episode 51:

    The Galaxy Police are quite lax on their restraint here, having apparently already been in contact with Earth to make an agreement in the event that their intervention was deemed necessary. If the situation is as dire as they make it out to be (a new dimensional rift opening in 24 hours?!) then what is Washu’s plan here, exactly? She’s been curiously absent since the shit started hitting the fan, I’m very interested to see what tricks she has up her sleeve as everything starts coming together.

    I’m not 100% sure on it, but I feel as though the two animal-aliens seen aboard the GP ship could be throwbacks to the design/race of the Operator from Tenchi Muyo in Love! It’s not exact, but the hair and fur colors are extremely close to each other, as well as the general design of feline features. Figured it was worth a mention, since there’s been plenty of callbacks to the other shows and movies left and right.

    http://i.minus.com/iosW3KtcfGqyj.png" />

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