drillmaster

He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Name Killed Once More!

by Rita Skeeter

It seems that the Ministry of Magic has a lot to answer for! After months of denying the return of You-Know-Who, eyewitnesses report that he and several of his suspected Death Eaters marched right up to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry and led a full scale assault. Thankfully, the Boy Who Lived was on the scene and managed to take care of the Dark Wizard once and for all.

“He was so brave!” fourth year Sasami Jurai shared with us in an exclusive interview.

Jurai is one of several students who joined Hogwarts this past year to attempt a foreign exchange program to further pursue magical global unity. These new students had quite a year from what the reporter has learned. Throughout the course of their term, they were placed in the supervision of Dolores Umbridge, former Ministry of Magic employee who took over the role of Headmistress for a brief period of time this past year. She was sadly a causality in the struggle with He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named.

“She was a terrible, heartless teacher who cared little for her students…but she did not deserve to die,” Jurai conceded, tears streaming down out of her bright pink eyes.

After reinstating Albus Dumbledore as Headmaster of Hogwarts, Minister Fudge had this to say: “We at the Ministry owe Albus Dumbledore and Harry Potter our deepest apologies. We were too blind to see that You-Know-Who had returned. The Wizarding World is in all of your debt.”

In addition to the Boy-Who-Lived and his peers, a key player in all of this was the now recently pardoned criminal Sirius Black. Black, who was believed to have betrayed the Potter family fifteen years ago, was cleared of all charges upon the capture of the once thought to be deceased Peter Pettigrew, who was captured with the Death Eaters attacking Hogwarts. Sirius did not have the time to comment with us at the time of this story’s publication, but he assured us we would get an exclusive interview soon!

Insiders tell us that it was partly thanks to Lucius Malfoy that the attack was a success. Lucius managed to risk life and limb to report to Dumbledore as a double agent. We at the Daily Prophet applaud your bravery Mr. Malfoy!

*HPVFTS*

Aliens at Hogwarts?!

by Xenophilius Lovegood

In a shocking turn of events, it seems as if Headmaster Albus Dumbledore has admitted several aliens to the famous Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry!

Earlier this year, it was reported that Hogwarts had received a slew of new students from another country, but we here at The Quibbler are shocked to discover that the country isn’t a country at all: it’s outer space!

“We all heard the Dark Lord announce it!” fifth year Pansy Parkinson told various reporters. “They are really weird!”

“That is simply preposterous,” Washu Hakubi, a fourth year Ravenclaw and an accused alien, defended. “How can we be aliens? Is it my pink hair?”

This reporter can see right through her confession and say without a doubt that this was a plan to throw us off the trail. This is an interesting turn for the Headmaster. After being forced to leave Hogwarts due to leaking the Rotfang Conspiracy files, this is proving to be a rather trying year for the wizened man. Representatives for The Quibbler reached out to Professor Dumbledore but he was unavailable for comments at this time.

*HPVFTS*

“What did you do Luna?!” Washu yelled when she finished reading The Quibbler. “You can’t print this stuff!”

Luna adopted an offended look. “Miss Hakubi, I’ll have you know that The Quibbler is a newspaper dedicated to reporting the news to its readers. We will not ignore a story just because you ask us not to print it.”

Washu hung her mouth open to say something, stopped herself, and shook her head. “Journalistic integrity…who knew?”

“It’s okay,” whispered Hermione. “Most people don’t believe The Quibbler anyway.”

“Ah.”

The school had returned to a state of normalcy, minus the fact that the students began to pay more attention to the Tenchi gang. The crew had become Hogwarts legends almost overnight. Ryoko and Ayeka were pestered by people wishing to learn fighting moves from them (including former members of the Inquisitorial Squad surprisingly), while Tenchi used every given opportunity to get away from it all. The two people who were enjoying the spotlight were Mihoshi, who loved the idea of reaching more students, and Washu, who was quite simply a narcissist.

On the flip side, Harry and Neville were also relieving quite a following. Neville, who had never had that many people admiring him, enjoyed it to a point. With his grandmother avenged, Neville seemed to be adjusting better than the brooding boy he was just weeks earlier.

Harry, however, wished to follow Tenchi’s footsteps and enjoy some peace. Though he was thrilled that the fighting was all over and was happy to no longer be mocked by the Ministry’s smear campaign, he hoped that he could begin to have a normal life. He looked forward to living with Sirius and to enjoy a carefree summer with his friends.

Opening the door to the subspace room, Harry found himself relieved that its only occupant was Tenchi. The two regarded each other with a nod. Harry plopped himself down on the couch and sighed.

“Tenchi, I have to ask you something.”

“Yeah Harry?”

“How do you do it? How do you put up with all of the craziness of your life?” Harry inquired.

Tenchi thought about it for a moment and then laughed. “Honestly, I’m not sure. I’m a simple guy who enjoys my peace…and yet I can’t imagine going back to the way things were without the girls and the excitement. I guess that I just transposed the idea of peacefulness to the girls being around.”

“Hmmm…I guess that makes sense. So, now that it’s all over, what do you think you lot are going to do?”

“Well,” Tenchi started before he paused. It was clear to Harry that Tenchi was contemplating that exact same question. “I really don’t know Harry. It’s not like we belong here. This world…it has no place for us. We came here because we needed to. We needed to save lives.”

“You’re saying that we will never see each other again?” Harry asked dejectedly.

Tenchi shook his head. “Hey now, that’s not what I said! The shrine and our house will be open for you guys to visit, but we can’t stay here for another year to finish up a magical education! We aren’t wizards Harry; remember that. Think of this as a carnival. It has to end at some point, but it comes back again next year better than ever! We may not come back to Hogwarts, but our friends are always welcome!”

Harry sat and took everything in. Of course Tenchi was right. This school had no real magical purpose for this lot. They were not witches or wizards, nor could Ryo-Ohki be classified as a magical creature. Still, it comforted Harry to know that Tenchi still considered him a friend.

The future seemed bright for Harry, and that made him happy.

*HPVFTS*

“Class, this is it! My last…last…oh I don’t want to go!” Mihoshi wailed as she addressed her class one final time. This was the final Muggle Studies class and she clearly did not wish to end her year.

“Don’t cry Professor Kuramitsu!” Ginny cried, offering the teacher a hug, which she gladly accepted.

“Oh Ginny, what am I going to do?! I loved being a teacher!”

“…aren’t you a cop?” Lee asked. Ayeka hit him in the arm. “Ow! What was that for!”

“You aren’t helping Lee!” Ayeka scolded.

Mihoshi looked at all of her students. “Um…I really have no idea what to even do for a final class. The whole play thing was my last big idea and you guys did that already! I…”

Hannah Abbot stood up. “Professor, why don’t we just talk about what our favorite things we learned this year was. I mean, I thought this class was going to be boring, but I’ve honestly grew to like it.”

This unexpected burst of perceived passion from the one student who seemed to be bored and confused by the entire class just caused Mihoshi to cry even harder.

*HPVFTS*

“Well students,” Albus Dumbledore spoke at the End of the Year Feast. “Another year has passed and much has changed in all of our lives. I would like to congratulate each and every seventh year for completing the magical education! We look forward to the great things you will all accomplish in your life beyond Hogwarts!”

The Great Hall was drowning in the echoing sound of clapping and cheering. All around, the various seventh years were being honored by their peers one last time before they would depart on the Hogwarts Express.

When the noise died down, Professor Dumbledore began to speak again. “Furthermore, I would like to extend a hearty farewell and a thank you to our Japanese visitors. Each of you have touched our lives in ways we cannot begin to describe, but you have also helped us restore our land to a state of peace. We here at Hogwarts owe you all a debt. You will always be welcomed at Hogwarts. Thank you.”

The noise continued again. Ryoko drunkenly reveled in the cheering by raising her glass of sake and starting a toast. “To Tenchi, the most handsome swordsman in the world!”

She was pushed out of the way by Ayeka, clearly tipsy herself, raised her own glass. “Please demon, let a real woman do it! To Lord Tenchi, who stopped Voldemort and Kagato all to selflessly save us all!”

The two women began to brawl over who gave the better toast. Mr. Filch went to stop the fighting, but Dumbledore motioned for him to let it continue. It seemed like everyone was looking on the fight and etching it into their memories. These moments would be missed in the following year.

“Er, thank you for that lovely attempted toast ladies!” Dumbledore chuckled over their struggles. “Now, before we tuck in to this lovely meal prepared for us with help by our very own Sasami Jurai, I would like to thank each and every one of you for your loyalty this year. You proved that each of you are committed to our school in your own special ways. For that, I am dissolving the House Cup this year, for each of the houses proved that you are all champions in your own way! Thank you all for keeping our school alive and for believing in an old man like me.”

With that, the food appeared. Various foreign dishes mixed their way into the old Hogwarts classics. Ron eagerly grabbed a bit of everything and began to stuff his face in.

When he noticed Sasami and Ginny laughing at him, he got very defensive. “What? This is my last Sasami meal of the school year! I want to make it count!”

“Funny, I always thought that you just ate like that,” Luna mused.

Washu smiled at grabbed her friend close. “Never change Luna! Hogwarts needs somebody like you!”

“What about you?” Hermione slyly asked. “What are we going to do without someone like you?”

“Gasp!” Washu mockingly exclaimed. “Granger, I’m amazed! This is coming from the same girl who thought we were all here for some dark and sinister purpose!”

Hermione blushed. “Oh please, I was right wasn’t I? You lot were hiding something!”

“Yeah,” Ginny agreed. “Technically Hermione was in the right with that one.”

“Details, details!” Washu laughed.

From his seat at the high table, Albus took the moment to observe his students. At the Hufflepuff table, Neville was talking with Hannah Abbot. The two were laughing about something trivial no doubt. Dumbledore knew that the boy still had a ways to go coping with the loss of his grandmother, but Sirius had requested to let the boy stay with him and Harry. Dumbledore, speaking on Sirius’ behalf, managed to get the request approved and the trio would no doubt enjoy a fun summer together.

The Slytherins were engaging in some kind of memorial party for Ayeka and Ryoko. It seemed that they were finally accepted as true Slytherins for their combat skills in the fight with Dumbledore, an irony that was not lost on the Headmaster. He had hoped that by separating the Masaki household into different houses that the school would develop an inter-school loyalty and he was pleased to see those seeds planted at long last.

The Ravenclaws and Gryffindor tables seemed to be just as merry. The various members of the D.A. who stood their ground against Dolores Umbridge were treated like heroes. They would no doubt be incorporated into future Hogwarts lore. None of those heroes would be as fondly remembered as Tenchi and his friends, whose antics and odd behavior turned the school upside and brought stability to a crumbling Wizarding World.

Finally, he regarded his fellow teachers, who were having their own good time. Mihoshi seemed to be simultaneously over excited to be seeing her colleagues in such a good mood and yet depressed to the point of tears that the school year was ending. He was thinking of contacting her over the summer to see if she would be interested in teaching a Muggle Pop Culture course part time so she could come back and continue her fun, but he did not want to invade in their lives too much. Dumbledore chuckled to see even Severus Snape hide a smile directed toward the blonde haired detective, which quickly disappeared before anyone else could catch it.

Did Dumbledore do the right thing by allowing these people to join the school? He hoped so. Albus knew he had made many mistakes this past year, but he hoped that his actions were justified enough to allow himself to be forgiven. All he knew was his students were happy, and that made the Headmaster smile all the same.

The Great Hall was quiet as the green ball of light left the doorway. It set itself down and revealed the form of the person every wizard feared the most: Lord Voldemort. Several children started to scream in fear while the adults and the D.A. directed their wands from Umbridge to Voldemort.

With a flick of his wand, Voldemort seemed to immobilize every person in the room. Ryoko struggled to move, but found that even she was susceptible to the magic. The one person who seemed to be able to free themselves was Dolores Umbridge. She made her way to the bald man and stared into his eyes.

Voldemort regarded her. “Are you the one who runs my school? Are you the one who scared Dumbledore away?”

Umbridge paused for a moment before she realized the opportunity this presented. “I am.”

“And are you the one who has been telling Fudge that I have not returned?”

“I am.”

Voldemort smiled. “You have aided me much Dolores Umbridge. Lord Voldemort rewards his followers. However, you are not my follower. In fact, you’re mere presence disgusts me. Avada Kedavra.”

A burst of green light filled the room and engulfed the Headmistress. She gave out a mighty croak and was suddenly silenced. Her limp form fell to the floor and Voldemort kicked it out of the way.

“Well that was pleasant, I must say.”

“How did you get in here?” cried the frozen form of Minerva McGonagall. “Hogwarts has enchantments preventing intruders to penetrate its walls!”

Voldemort flashed her a smile. “Ah, the crone. Still around I see. How did I get here, you ask? I have recently undergone a…transformation of sorts. I now know power beyond what any mere wizard knows, even that fool Dumbledore.”

“That doesn’t answer the question!”

“I know that you imbecile! Did you really think I would tell you all of my secrets? I LET you speak because it amuses me. All you need to know is that my loyal Death Eaters are outside the grounds, waiting for Dumbledore’s Order of the Phoenix to inevitably come. You see, I know that Lucius Malfoy betrayed me. He feared my new powers and questioned my new outlook on life. They will lose, of course, but it will give me the time I need in here.”

“New outlook, my lord?” Snape asked, trying desperately to move.

Voldemort noticed the man and laughed. “Why Severus, I did not see you there. You, who are directly responsible for my ascension to god hood, are present for what is sure to be by masterstroke!” Voldemort cackled. “The time for petty conversation has passed. Where is he?”

Voldemort peered around the Hall. The children were either terrified of the man or struggling defiantly. Their cries were silenced with a flick of a wand. Finally, his eyes fell on Harry Potter.

“Ah, the Boy Who Lived. I must say you were the object of my fury for so long that I almost missed the bigger picture.”

Harry looked confused. “What do you mean Tom? Are you going to kill me like a coward? Is that it?”

The Dark Lord approached him and got in his face. “You dare speak to me like that Potter?! Oh yes, I will kill you, but there is a bigger threat here. Now then, where is Masaki Tenchi?”

The room grew silent. Suddenly a roar was heard from the Slytherin side of the hall. Ryoko Hakubi was struggling with all of her might to get free from the curse. “What do you want with Tenchi you bastard!”

Voldemort laughed at her pitiful attempts. “My, my. The demon of Okayama has quite the tongue, eh Ryoko?”

“How do you know my name?!”

“The answer is quite fascinating. Ever since my little visit to the Masaki shrine, I have learned so many truths of the universe; specifically that we are not alone,” he sneered.

The Dark Lord turned to his crowd in a flamboyant gesture. “Yes, students and staff of Hogwarts; you have been deceived! There is no Jurai school for magic! There isn’t even a Jurai on this planet! No, it IS a planet! The Masaki boy and his friends are aliens you fools!”

It seemed that Voldemort was expecting to use the crowd as his audience. He allowed the students and teachers the ability to move their heads to regard the Japanese students.

“You MUST be mistaken, my Lord,” Snape spoke.

“That’s preposterous! Dumbledore would never have allowed beings from another planet to come to this school!” Professor McGonagall marveled.

Voldemort laughed. “From what I gathered, that Muggle loving fool thought they might be the best line of defense against me. Muggles at Hogwarts. Muggles TEACHING at Hogwarts. What have we become? Well my wizarding brothers and sisters, your Lord will not stand for it any longer. Again I must ask, where is Masaki Tenchi?”

A laugh was heard from the back of the room. It was Washu, who had managed to free herself from the spell. “He’s not here at the moment, but I can relay a message. I have to say Voldemort, I expected someone a little taller.”

“Miss Hakubi! What are you doing?! How did you get free?!” Professor Flitwick asked.

Washu shrugged. “The cabbit’s out of the bag. What can I say; I’m not from around here. Neither are they. It doesn’t change anything because this ‘alien’ is going to put a stop to all of this nonsense.”

The students and teachers were floored to discover that Voldemort’s revelation was true after all. Harry, Hermione, Luna, Ginny, Lee, and Ron, however, were petrified at the ramifications of the statement. As for the girls, they were too concerned for Tenchi to think about how the others would act.

“Ah, the scientist. I must admit, I was expecting someone of your reputation to be older. Then again, for a being who is over 20,000 years old you do look rather well.”

“20,000 years old!” Minerva McGonagall cried out.

“I’m flattered. But tell me old snake eyes, how did you come to know our little secrets? I know I certainly didn’t leave them lying around.”

Voldemort flashed his teeth triumphantly. “Your little friend was not very good at occulemency. That is what you fools get for trying to mix science with magic. You are ill prepared.”

Washu nodded, striding up to the wizard. “I see now; you read Minagi’s mind before you almost killed her…and when you did kill Mrs. Longbottom.”

“A pity to spill blood so pure, but it was necessary. She got in between me and my prize.”

“So we’ve come to that. For the life of me I have no idea what could have possibly been in Ryoko’s cave, though Dumbledore had his own ideas. I checked it thoroughly and found no trace of anything trackable.”

“You think you can distract me with such questions, Professor? No, I am beyond your teachings and I am beyond your comprehension. I grow weary of your existence. If you cannot produce the boy and his Master Key, I have no use for you,” he told her.

Washu looked down and realized that she had fallen into his trap. She was turning to stone. Struggling to move, the greatest scientific mind in the universe had an epiphany. “Oh my god. You…I was wrong…you basta…” she started before becoming completely encased in stone.

Voldemort walked over and inspected his handiwork. “Truly magnificent, do you not agree Severus? I should just push her over and be done with it, but I want her to see it all. I want her to see the pain she has caused by interfering with this world. She and everyone here will see the penalty for mixing two worlds that do not belong…starting with you Princess Sasami.”

*HPVFTS*

“It’s him!” Neville fumed. He was still outside the Great Hall when Voldemort invaded the school. They had managed to keep themselves hidden as the ball entered the school. He stood alone with Tenchi, Hannah, and Dean. Professor Kuramitsu was pacing in the corner, preparing herself to enter the fray despite her new injury.

“Do I have jurisdiction to arrest an Earth citizen?! Oh I wish Yukinojo were here; he’d tell me if I could do that!”

“Pull yourself together Mihoshi! We can do this!” Tenchi pleaded.

“Wait you guys actually are aliens?!” Dean asked. “Awesome!”

Tenchi started to sweat. “Well…you see…now’s really not the time…”

“It’s out in the open Masaki. I really don’t think anybody cares. Honestly, it explains a lot,” Hannah pointed out.

“You don’t have to worry about arresting him,” Neville told the panicking form of Mihoshi, clutching his wand tightly. “I’ll kill him myself.”

“Cripes mate, you can’t think like that! What can you do against He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named?!” exclaimed Dean. “Listen to reason buddy!”

“You are blinded by rage Neville! Don’t you remember in ‘Return of the Jedi?'” Hannah said, trying to appeal to his interests. “If Luke went into his battle with Darth Vader angry, he’d turn to the Dark Side! Do you want to turn to the Dark Side Neville?”

Neville stared out into space and thought about it for a moment. The group was presently unnoticed by Voldemort, so they had the element of surprise. If they went charging in, there might only be a single moment to catch him off guard. The flaw with this plan was that they would be sitting ducks at this point.

The other issue was his inner conflict to kill Voldemort. Everybody was expecting Harry to vanquish him, but he was trapped in there now. It is possible that the prophecy might have been misread, but if Neville was given the perfect moment to save the Wizarding World, should he take it?The words of the imposter Moody from the previous year echoed through his head: “Constant Vigilance!”

“I know Hannah, but if I was given the opportunity to save the world, why shouldn’t I take it?” Neville pondered out loud.

Tenchi turned to the boy. “Neville, you are right about that, but Hannah is right too. You can’t go in there with the intent to kill. I have killed before, and it still haunts me to this day. Taking a life is never necessary, but there are other ways to approach this. Right now, we need to focus on breaking that spell and freeing everybody.”

“But isn’t Harry destined to kill Voldemort?” Neville shot back. “After all he has done, after all the people he has killed or maimed, isn’t it a good thing to see him dead?!”

“Maybe,” Hannah paused. “Maybe Harry is supposed to bring about his death, but not do it himself.”

Neville raised an eyebrow. “You mean he kills himself trying to kill Harry?”

Hannah shrugged. “I don’t have those answers Neville. Remember, I’m only 15. I don’t even think Dumbledore would know at this point what to do.”

Tenchi took out the plantlike hilt of the Tenchi-Ken. He examined it and suddenly was engulfed in a light. At once his appearance changed into a battle armor of some kind. It looked alien so Neville supposed it was Jurain

“Voldemort wants this sword. If it means that people will not get hurt, I’ll meet him.”

The children looked shocked. “That’s just what he wants Tenchi! Don’t be a fool!” Dean told him.

The Crown Prince smiled. “Hey, I’ve done this kind of thing before. Don’t worry about it. You three should go hide and be observant. Don’t do anything rash.” He looked at Mihoshi. “Mihoshi, make sure they stay safe.”

Mihoshi nodded. “Right Tenchi! As a Galaxy Policewoman it is my duty to protect the civilians from harm’s way!”

Tenchi opened the doors of the Great Hall and entered it to face his destiny. Neville thought about everything Tenchi and Hannah had told him. There was truth in their words, but he knew deep down in his heart that he could not just sit by and wait for something to happen.

“Professor, you know that I’m not going to sit around here right?” he asked Mihoshi.

“But…but Tenchi said to watch you all and keep you safe!”

“I know, but in order to do that you need to help me out. I think I have a plan!”

Hannah rolled her eyes. “You are such a Gryffindor, Longbottom.”

“That’s just part of my charm.”

*HPVFTS*

Sasami was struggling as hard as she could to escape the binding spell placed on her. This Dark Wizard was scaring her, though she did not want to admit it. However, there was a part of her that wanted to give him a piece of her mind. He was the one responsible for hurting her “Big Sister” Minagi and leaving so many of her friends orphans.

“What…what do you want from me you big creep?”

Voldemort gave a chilling laugh. “My dear Princess, I want your friend Masaki but I have need for you as well. You are the key to unlocking the greatest power in all of the universe: Tsunami, the protector of Jurai. I do not know what it is, but I know it is power unlike any known to this planet and Voldemort craves power.”

Sasami could not hide her shocked expression. “Tsunami?! How…”

“Your friend, the Ryoko clone. She told me everything…and I was able to deduce the rest. I am nothing if not clever. My mind has experienced so much clarity recently.”

“What does that even mean?” Ayeka yelled. “Why do you even care?!”

“It means that I know if I go through you and your sister, I will achieve the power of Tsunami and the gems that power both Ryoko and the Master Key,” he chuckled. “Now then, before I show you what Lord Voldemort can do, where is Masaki?!”

The door to the Great Hall opened triumphantly. Strolling down the rows of tables was Tenchi in full Juraian combat regalia clutching the object of Voldemort’s desire: the Master Key. In an instant, he charged the weapon, revealing a blade of pure energy. Several of the immobile students started talking in awe, making an internal connection to the lightsabers of “Star Wars.”

“Tenchi, what are you doing?! Get out of here!” Ryoko yelled as she continued to exert all of her power.

“We are bound here by his Magic Lord Tenchi! It is not safe! Get help!” Ayeka agreed.

With a wave of his wand, Voldemort silenced everyone in the Great Hall, including Tenchi’s girls. He moved away from Sasami, patting her head and making his way to the center of the Great Hall to meet his foe.

“That is enough from the masses I think. So you are the one named Masaki,” Voldemort jeered.

“I am. I hear you want this sword. What does it mean to you? Why do you need to endanger my friends?” Tenchi boldly asked.

Voldemort was taken back to hear a Muggle speak so boldly to his face. “I do not NEED to do anything, nor do I have to justify myself to you boy. I do what I wish because it pleases me. Give me the sword and I will leave you in peace. Give me the sword and I shall let you live.”

“Funny, I don’t believe you Voldemort. I met a man very similar to you once. I did not want to fight him nor do I want to fight you. So I ask you this: please. Please stop. Leave my friends alone. Leave everyone alone,” Tenchi implored.

“Why throw away your life so needlessly for people you barely know? I offer you your old life boy. No wizards, no witches, no magic. Just you returning to Japan a happy man.”

Tenchi stared intensely at him and gripped his sword even tighter. “I would rather die than let any of my friends get hurt.”

Voldemort smiled. “I was hoping you would say that, but before we begin, I think I’d like something to set the mood. Imperio!”

Pointing his wand at Professor Flitwick, he forced the man to go to the ceremonial piano that was used only for special concerts. Mindlessly, he sat down and started to play an unfamiliar piece of music. Voldemort smiled.

“I have found recently I do all my best work to music. A fitting way to die Masaki.” Voldemort taunted, clutching his wand and a large green beam of light extended out from the tip. The light formed a blade of its own, enough to counter the blue blade of the Master Key. Tenchi could see the mouths of his peers, teachers, and friends moving, but could not hear them thanks to Voldemort’s spell.

“I created this spell just for this occasion. I want you to think about that when death overcomes you,” Voldemort mocked.

He rushed over to Tenchi and made a swipe, but Tenchi managed to counter the blow with his own speed. It was clear to Tenchi that Voldemort was not an expert in sword play, but had power to back up his strikes. He wished to fight defensively (well technically he did not want to fight at all), but knew deep down that if he had to he would take Voldemort’s life.

Blow after blow was struck and the entire Great Hall were witnesses to the master swordsman and his dark opponent. Though they could not express it verbally, the students who were either taught by Tenchi or watched his morning routine were amazed at the power he displayed. Where did the teenager who had to fight for any alone time he could go? Is this the same boy who sat in class with them? Even Harry and the gang were shocked at his skills. Though they had witnessed the hidden powers of Ayeka and Ryoko, this was something completely different.

The battle raged on for what seemed like hours. Each combatant was fighting with everything they had. Tenchi started to feel frustrated. He was hoping he could activate the Light Hawk Wings by now, but it looked like he was just running on his skills alone.

“You fight well Muggle. Lord Voldemort is not easily impressed by such things. I offer you one last chance to walk away.”

Tenchi glared at the man. “Stop stalling Voldemort. You can’t intimidate me!”

Tenchi rushed toward him and struck. He landed the sword directly into his chest. Voldemort clutched the sword and yelled. Tenchi allowed a tear to leave his eyes before it turned to shock. The body of Voldemort disappeared and left a trail of dust. Without warning, Tenchi was stunned from behind. Voldemort, seemingly from nowhere, stepped out of the shadows.

“Did you like my shadow, Masaki? It seems to have stopped your smug, Muggle mouth. The great power of Jurai. I must say, it does not live up to the hype. I am generous though, fret not. I will end your life and offer you a quick death. You will not live to see everything you hold dear crumble around me in the ashes of my triumphs! Good bye Masaki Tenchi.”

Suddenly, the candles were blown out and the room was engulfed in darkness. The music stopped as Professor Flitwick stopped playing the piece. “What trickery is this?!” Voldemort cried. “Lumos.” He pointed his wand around the room, momentarily ignoring the form of Tenchi lying on the floor.

“Hello Voldemort,” a gravely voice echoed through the hall.

“Who dares utter my name?! What fool, so weary of life, addresses me so?!”

“You killed my gran Voldemort. Your followers caused my mum and dad to be driven to insanity. You nearly killed my friends! Now you are dealing with me. I will make sure you will never hurt anyone again,” the voice replied, seemingly from everywhere.

Voldemort laughed a cold laugh. “Ah, you must be the Longbottom boy. You show bravery and valor for facing me so. Come and bow to death like a good pure blood. Why hide in the shadows when you can face me like a man?”

“Why taunt me when I am only a boy? Do you fear me Voldemort?”

“I fear NOTHING!” he roared. The Dark Lord whirled his wand around looking for where the sound came from.

A shot was fired and the wand flew from Voldemort’s hand. Clutching his hand tightly, Voldemort began to growl in pain. He could not see in the darkened room but knew his hand was wounded.

“I know pain Voldemort. Sometimes I share it with my friends. Are you my friend?” whispered the disembodied voice of Neville, seemingly from behind Voldemort.

He twirled around, reaching out for his foe. He felt a foot land into his back and the Dark Lord fell. His body grew numb and his pain increased.

“He also shows his friends how to inflict pain,” a young female voice called out. “It tends to hurt.”

Voldemort struggled to rise from the floor and suddenly lost all feeling in his legs. A powerful kick had broken his legs. ‘Is this how I am to fall?! Not in a duel with that Muggle lover or the Potter boy…but a fist fight with teenagers?!’

Weakly, he raised his hand, blasting bolts of green light out of them. It was a dangerous trick, one he had only recently devised, but it was worth the shot. The bolts were absorbed by what sounded like shield spells constructed by yet a third male voice. He charged up his shot one final time but felt cold steel bind his wrists.

“Mr. Voldemort, you are under arrest for attempted murder of a Juraian dignitary in a classified sector! Do not struggle or attempt to resist as it will affect you in the court of law,” came an unfamiliar feminine voice. It was the Muggle teacher!

The lights returned and Voldemort could see his attackers through his pain soaked eyes. The children of Hogwarts, it seemed, were highly prepared for these situations. He had heard that that toad woman had been teaching only theoretical spells! Where had he gone wrong?!

“You…you all think you have won?! You think I will stop now?” he raved to his audience, who were no longer bound by his magic. “Kill me Longbottom, or I will never stop! Save the world from me or know that every death I cause from this moment on is on your head!”

A final kick was felt momentarily before his world went black. The last thing he heard was that Ryoko woman growling “That is for my Tenchi you scumbag asshole! And this one is for Minagi!”

*HPVFTS*

Tenchi got up off the floor. He had felt this worn out before, but he had not expected to be taken down so easily. It worried him that there was somebody out there so powerful, but upon realizing the situation around him, he was at peace.

Neville and the others had done it. He had stopped Voldemort from killing more students and had found a way to incapacitate him without resorting to the killing blow. Tenchi did not wish to have the young man share the sadness he sometimes felt when he remembered his fight with Kagato.

He also remembered that the group had been outed as aliens. He got up, frantically looking everywhere to see if the students and teachers of Hogwarts had turned against them or incited some kind of panic.

“Tenchi Masaki! Don’t you dare move!” the sharp tones of Luna Lovegood rang out. She looked at his arms and then stared into his eyes.

“Err…everything okay Luna?”

“I think so. The mome raths got the best of you during the fight, but I think you are better now,” she replied.

“I…thank you Luna,” Tenchi laughed. He hobbled to rejoin his friends, who had started to crowd around him and Neville. “Has anyone…you know…”

“Freaked out that you lot are aliens?” Luna asked as if it were a typical thing to say. “Nope. In fact, it seems to have made you all rather popular.”

The two finally reached the crowd and were instantly bombarded with students exclaiming their amazement with Tenchi’s skills and asking questions about space. He could hear similar questions being asked all around him to the girls.

“You were bloody brilliant mate!” Ron exclaimed to Neville, who was standing nearby.

“Tenchi, I didn’t know you could do crap like that! That was wicked!” Lee cried out.

“Professor, you were so brave!” Colin Creevey told Mihoshi. “Can I get a picture?!”

The blonde haired woman jumped up and down and put on a giant smile. “Yay! We did it! We stopped Voldemort!”

The crowd stepped aside for the professors to make their way to the center. Minerva, Severus, Pomona, and Filius rushed to the sides of their students.

“Longbottom, that was a very gallant thing you have done for us all! Foolish…but gallant never the less,” Professor McGonagall told her student. “Your grandmother would be very proud of you.”

Neville looked at her and sighed. “Thank you Professor.”

Professor Flitwick was busy examining the Master Key. “Interesting weapon…and this is alien in origin? Most curious! I say Tenchi, your fight sounded like me during my old dueling days. I wish I was able to see it in person and not just providing instrumentals…”

Tenchi laughed. “Well I suppose it added to it…I guess.”

Snaps started to examine the stone form of Washu. “Flitwick, your student has been encapsulated in a manner which is unknown to me.”

Flitwick rushed over and started to shed some tears. “Hakubi…between Voldemort and the curse I completely forgot…there has to be some way to bring her back…”

“Stand aside Earthlings. I’ll take it from here!” came an unknown female voice.

The Great Hall was now flooded by the members of the Order of the Phoenix. Amongst the crowd of wizards were Tonks, Moody, the twins, Molly, Arthur, Lupin and Sirius. Leading the charge, however, were the familiar faces of Albus Dumbledore, Yume, Hishima, Yosho, and Minagi. Trailing close behind them all was Lucius Malfoy.

“Big sister Minagi!” Sasami yelled in excitement, running to the teal haired woman and giving her a hug.

“Albus!” Minerva said in an astonished voice.

“Sirius!” Harry laughed! “Professor Lupin!”

“Grandpa?!” Tenchi asked astonished.

“Miss Yume!” Ayeka added.

“Father!” the voice of Draco Malfoy exclaimed from the crowd, pushing his way forward.

The various members of the Order of the Phoenix began to reunite with their loved ones and relate to them the story of the battle that had occurred during the fight with Voldemort.

“Upon my departure from Hogwarts, I began to mobilize the members of the Order of the Phoenix. I knew that Voldemort would make a move shortly, but I could not know where he was striking from. Thankfully we had an unforeseen advantage…” Dumbledore began telling his teachers.

At the same time, Lucius was talking to his son, explaining why he was here. “Though you know I was…sorely tempted into returning to the Dark Lord, I began to realize that his newfound powers had driven him off the deep end. I began to share my objections and concerns with Severus, who brought me to the Muggle lovin…I mean, to Professor Dumbledore.”

“So you turned into a double agent?” Draco asked.

“Precisely son.”

“Did you know that Masaki and his lot were aliens?”

Lucius shook his head. “No, but it fits considering what happened to the Dark Lord. Still…this means they cannot be recognized as part of Wizarding Law…”

Draco gave his father a stern look. “Father, regardless if you consider them a threat or not, I will have you know I consider Ryoko Hakubi and Ayeka Jurai to be trusted allies.”

“Yes…so you have Lucius said dejectedly, realizing his own place in the Great Hall. “…would you like me to continue Draco or would you like to debate the legalities of extra terrestrials?”

“…once we had Malfoy on our side, we managed to get enough information to put together a battle plan,” Sirius was explaining to Harry and the group in their own conversation.

“All we needed to do was find out when he would be striking Hogwarts,” Remus added.

“So let me get this straight Grandpa, Professor Dumbledore asked for your assistance almost immediately?” a bewildered Tenchi was asking Yosho.

“Indeed Tenchi. It was a smart idea to bring someone like me along, given my own history in combat. Though I believe there was a secondary purpose as well…” Yosho explained.

As Yume examined the stone form of Washu, she continued her own explanation to Ryoko and Ayeka. “When we got the call from Albus and the former Prince, we figured that it couldn’t hurt to come back to finish what we started. Besides, Hishima gets bored easily without a good fight now and then, don’t you big guy?”

Hishima nodded. “The Death Eaters were good. We were better.”

While all of the other conversations were going on, Sasami, Mihoshi, and Luna were making sure Minagi was all right. “Don’t worry Sasami! Washu knew what she was doing when she stabilized me. Lord Katsuhito checked in on me regularly to make sure I was okay. Nobody got hurt here, did they?”

Mihoshi pointed to Yume and started to cry. “Washu got turned to stone! I don’t know what we are going to do!”

“I wouldn’t worry Professor,” Luna chimed in. “I think that Yume is going to get her back to normal in no time.”

Minagi looked around and saw the one person she really wanted to talk to. “Hey guys, I’ll be right back. I…I just have to do something,” she told the trio, looking rather gloomy.

She teleported herself to the area where Neville was being bombarded with cheers from his peers. The students jumped back in shock when they saw a second Ryoko and started to whisper amongst themselves.

“Hi Neville…” Minagi began.

The wounded boy looked at the woman and nodded. “Minagi, I’m happy to see that you are better!” Neville smiled, seemingly legitimately.

Suddenly, Minagi bowed deeply and started to cry. “Oh Neville, I’m so sorry! I failed you! I couldn’t protect her! It’s my fault she died! If I didn’t suggest looking in the cave she…”

Minagi’s tearful apology was cut short by the simplest of actions: a hug. Neville had wrapped his arms around the woman and squeezed. “It’s alright. Don’t blame yourself; you did everything you could mate. We got him…that’s what matters.”

At the same time, Yume continued to use her computer to try to revive Washu. Professor Flitwick came over and looked at the unfamiliar woman.

“So, are you from outer space too?” Flitwick asked curiously.

“Yep, are you going to be like Moody and claim I’m a menace to society?” Yume replied, focusing on her task

“Brat!” Moody, who was not too far away, barked back at her

The tiny professor shook his head. “No, I’m not as paranoid as Alastair Moody. I’m merely intrigued. I gather you were very close to my student Washu?”

Yume laughed. “Student…I still can’t get over that. Yeah, her and I go way back. She was my rival in the Galactic Academy…ah good times.”

“Galactic Academy, you say?” Flitwick asked with earnest interest.

The girl nodded. “Yeah, afterwards the two of us taught there, before she got herself kidnapped by Kagato for 700 years,” she began before her computer began to blink. “Aha! I think I have it! Give me a moment and our pink haired pest will be back to her typical, pompous self!”

This was the general scene of the Great Hall. Tenchi, Neville, Dean, Mihoshi and Hannah were hailed as heroes, while the members of Tenchi’s menagerie were prodded with questions about space. It was so joyous that not a single soul was noticing the terror that was rising off of the floor.

The form of Lord Voldemort had managed to regain consciousness and was making his way back to his feet. Though he was now wandless, he knew other ways of inflicting pain.

“Longbottom…you will suffer dearly for that insult,” Voldemort said, building green energy out of his hands. He had formed an energy ball of sorts and was pointing his hands at Neville. “Die!”

However, one person was alert enough to recognize the danger of the situation. Harry, who had not locked eyes off of his sworn enemy, jumped in front of the now moving energy projectile. “No! Expelliarmus!” Harry roared.

The spell rebounded the projectile back at the now revived Voldemort. The Great Hall watched in awe as the tyrant fell once more right after the back hit him right in the chest.

“The prophecy…” Albus muttered to himself. “Could it be?”

He rushed over to the now dormant form of Voldemort and checked his pulse. “Harry…he is dead!”

Chapter 21: Ne Need for a Headmistress

Chapter 21: No Need for a Headmistress

Ayeka rose from her bed and yawned. “If I were on the Planet Jurai, I wouldn’t have to be woken up so early,” she muttered.

Looking at Ryoko’s slumbering form in the bed next to hers, Ayeka debated on waking her up. ‘I’m not even that cruel.’

The princess moved to the ladies room and started her rigorous morning routine, which involved brushing her hair and making herself manageable. “Look at my beautiful, purple hair! I swear, Lord Tenchi must look at me and fawn over it. I just know it!”

The other girls who were up ignored her self-praise. They were used to her egotistical nature and, as such, let her be. For the most part, the only Slytherin who actually spoke to her was Draco Malfoy (and, technically, Ryoko).

“Hey Jurai,” came the voice of Daphne Greengrass. “Draco asked me to get you.”

“Hmm?” Ayeka replied, startled by the intrusion. “What does Draco want with me this early in the morning?”

The other girl shrugged her shoulders. “How should I know? I was just asked because I was the first girl he saw. Go figure.”

Ayeka finished collecting her belongings and went out of the bathroom. She looked around and found Draco Malfoy, dressed in his robes and waiting around.

“There you are Jurai! I have been waiting all morning for you!”

“I am confused,” Ayeka started. “What are we doing? Did we have something planned that I forgot about?”

The blonde haired boy shook his head. “No you fool, you and I have been summoned by Professor Umbridge. If the rumors are true, we had some excitement here last night.”

“What kind of excitement?” Ayeka pried.

“You’ll see. Oh well, come on,” Draco began. “We don’t want to keep her waiting.”

“Joy.”

*HPVFTS*

“Ah, just the two students I wanted to see. Come in, come in!” Dolores Umbridge told Draco and Ayeka.

“Good morning to you Madame Umbridge. I must admit, you have me at a loss. What can I help you with?”

The woman smiled very evilly. “Why, to put your idea into practice Miss Jurai. I finally have the power I needed to form my own ‘Inquisitorial Squad.'”

Ayeka blinked. “I thought that Professor Dumbledore would not allow you to pursue that idea.”

“My, somebody has not heard of last night’s news. I managed to secure a copy of today’s Daily Prophet. Why don’t the two of you read the headline of the front page story?”

The two Slytherins grabbed the newspaper and examined it. On the first page was a picture of Dolores Umbridge and a headline that made Ayeka do a triple take.

“You mean to tell me YOU are the new Headmast…Headmistress of Hogwarts?!” Ayeka shrieked.

Umbridge blinked. “Don’t act so surprised dear. We all knew that Dumbledore would have to screw up somewhere. All it took was a little push and I now have complete control.”

Ayeka dug deep inside of her in order to find the most superficial smile she could muster. “That…that is fantastic news! May I congratulate you on your new position Madame Headmistress!”

“Yeah! You go Professor!” Malfoy agreed.

Umbridge smiled and patted the two on the shoulders. “I am counting on the two of you to lead the charge in this bold new initiative. You have authority second only to me. I’ll open it up to the Slytherins…but not that Hakubi girl. She is too much of a pest to trust with such power.”

“Professor,” Draco started. “I must again point out that she has been as close to a model student as we can find. True she might be a bit rowdy, but I blame hormones or whatever it is that runs girls.”

“Your opinions have been noted Mr. Malfoy. Regardless, she will not become part of the team. Spread the word. We have work to do my friends…the Ministry’s work.”

*HPVFTS*

“She did WHAT?!” Harry yelled.

“She took over as Headmistress. That foul woman is going to announce it at breakfast. She already has that Filch person posting signs around the castle with the newest Educational Decree,” Ayeka explained.

“What about Professor Dumbledore?” Hermione asked.

Ayeka shrugged. “She wouldn’t tell me anything else. Something happened yesterday that forced Dumbledore to resign.”

“It was me,” Neville grunted. The crew looked at him in confusion. “You asked, didn’t you? Umbridge tried to expel me for defending myself against some Slytherins, Dumbledore intervened. I guess it came to bite him in the arse.”

“This is terrible!” Tenchi exclaimed. “Without Dumbledore, we won’t have anyone to back us up if Kagato or Voldemort attacks the school!”

“Don’t look at it that way Masaki,” George cut in.

“Consider it…an opportunity,” Fred added.

Lee regarded the two. “You don’t mean…”

The twins adopted a sinister grin. “We have always agreed that our education had run its course years ago. We’ve really only been staying to support Dumbledore,” Fred told everyone.

“That we have. Now that he’s gone, I think I can safely say that we could care less about rules or punishments.”

“Mom’s going to kill you if she finds out,” Ginny warned the pair.

Fred laughed. “I’d rather mom kill us for bringing down Umbridge than Umbridge kill us for being Weasleys.”

“He has a point,” Hermione conceded. “None of us are on Umbridge’s favorites list…except you Ayeka.”

Ryoko, full of passion and energy, smashed a table in the subspace house. “Well then, what’s the plan?! I want to make her suffer for what she has done!”

Luna shrugged. “Let chaos reign?”

“Hey now!” Tenchi interrupted. “We can’t just go and start trouble! We have to think this over!”

“Lord Tenchi has a point,” Washu nodded. “Let’s wait it out and see where all of this leads. For all we know, Umbridge might screw this up on her own…wishful thinking I know, but we must observe our enemy before we strike!” Washu punctuated this with her fist striking her hand.

*HPVFTS*

The classes of Hogwarts were rather gloomy now that Umbridge was supervising every one of them. Nearly all the Slytherins had joined up for the Inquisitorial Squad and every one of them were going about making life miserable for the rest of the school. Points were docked for the smallest infractions while Slytherin house prospered.

The students had collectively decided to hold off on future D.A. meetings until they could figure out a foolproof plan to meet without attracting the attention of Dolores Umbridge. Washu had debated on attempting another subspace link up, but again she held off on it on the chance that it merged with her lab.

However, the biggest change to the school was that Mihoshi’s influence was now severely limited. Though she would not be fired, it did not mean that she could continue her method of teaching.

“So students, we are now going to look at how a magical girl like Sailor Moon can be seen in…” Mihoshi began telling her class before being cut off by Umbridge’s cough.

“Professor Kuramitsu, did we not discuss this? There will be no more Muggle pop culture in my school. Do you know ANYTHING else about Muggles besides their petty entertainment?” Umbridge goaded.

Mihoshi started to panic. “Um…well…I can show everyone how Muggles live day to day?”

Umbridge smiled. “Proceed.”

“Well when a Muggle wakes up, they have chores to do…but they can’t use magic so they have to do it by hand!”

“Really?” asked Dolores sarcastically. “I did not know that. Please continue.”

*HPVFTS*

“Probation?! I can’t be on probation?!” Mihoshi cried in Umbridge’s office.

“Ah but you are, my dear Professor. I can simply not allow your curriculum to continue. Do you even have any lesson plans that showcase any educational merit?”

Mihoshi blinked a few times. “What are lesson plans?”

“My point exactly,” the Headmistress sighed. “Simply put, you are not capable of being a teacher here. However, as the Minister has expressed interest in keeping you around for the rest of the term, you will be allowed to keep your job.”

“Really?!” the blonde haired woman exclaimed. “I thought you said…”

“Oh, you misunderstand me. You ARE on probation, don’t get me wrong, but you will still be teaching. I will write your lesson plans and you will implement them word for word.”

“That will be easy! Thank you Professor!”

*HPVFTS*

“She wants you to read this rubbish?! I’m not even in your class and I’m insulted!” Hermione cried, reading the scripted plans that Umbridge wrote.

“I don’t have a choice Hermione! It’s either this or I get fired!” Mihoshi wept.

“But she wants you to teach Wizarding superiority! She is trying to make Muggle science seem like a dull, idiotic waste of time!”

“What?!” Washu roared. “That crosses the line! It’s one thing to mess with my friends, but to criticize science?! Unforgivable! Fred! George! Lee!”

The trio immediately rushed to her side. “What is thy bidding, my mistress?” George asked at bended knee.

“You claim to be the pranking kings around here? Prove it! Tell me what you need and it is yours!”

Fred smiled and tears trickled down his face. “I have been waiting for this day my whole life.”

“Mine too, oh brother of mine.”

Ron, looking at the commotion, looked to Hermione. “Aren’t you going to stop them?!”

Hermione adopted a devilish smile. “If you just read what I read Ronald, you wouldn’t blame your brothers for doing what they are about to do. Umbridge is going to have a lot on her plate; trust me.”

Ron backed away in fear. “Bloody hell Hermione, what has gotten into this year?!”

She pointed at Washu, who was listening to the trio’s ideas with serious intent. “I was right. Washu and her lot really are a bad influence on us.”

*HPVFTS*

The next few weeks were hell for Dolores Umbridge.

It had seemed like Hogwarts itself was rejecting its own Headmistress. No matter where she went in the school, bad things kept happening to her. From walking into her office and discovering her kitten tea sets and been replaced with common Muggle china to having a cauldron containing a wart producing liquid spray her when observing Professor Snape, it seemed like the torture would not stop.

“I ask you again, are you sure we have NO lead on who is behind all of these acts of insubordination?!” Umbridge growled to her Inquisitorial Squad (and Mr. Filch).

“None whatsoever,” Ayeka reported. “It cannot be the Weasley twins, for you have seen them in their classes as the acts of insubordination took place. I believe that it is a network of students testing your patience.”

Blaise Zambini laughed. “Please Jurai, we all know it was them. Regardless if they enlisted aid or not, they are the masterminds behind it all. We all know it.”

“I’m inclined to believe Mr. Zambini here. We will monitor them closely this week. If they slip up once, I will send them to you Filch.”

Filch smiled and licked his lips. “Does that mean I can whip them, ma’am?”

“Yes Argus; yes it does,” the toad grinned.

Ayeka looked at these cruel people and used all of her royal training to hold back her disgust. This was simply wrong on every conceivable level. Whipping students…was this what happened if Dumbledore was taken out of the picture?

*HPVFTS*

As Ayeka relegated her eyewitness account of the Inquisitorial Squad meeting, the members of the group reacted in outrage. Surely Ayeka had to be embellishing SOMETHING.

“She has turned detention into pure blown torture!” Tenchi bemoaned. “Does anyone care about how you kids are treated?!”

“It appears not,” Hermione said grimly. “We are on our own here.”

“What we need is Professor Dumbledore back,” Harry admitted. “What would he do in this situation?”

Neville scoffed. “Clearly he would abandon his post and let Umbridge take control.”

“Oy, you don’t know how it went down! Umbridge might say one thing, but for all we know, Fudge might have forced him to leave!” Ron defended.

Washu considered everything. “If whipping is going to be the acceptable standard of student reprimand of this school, Professor Dumbledore needs to know. I won’t stand for something like this to be covered up.”

“How do we get in contact with Dumbledore?” Harry asked. “Unless we break into his office and talk to the portrait of Phineas Nigellus, I don’t see how that can happen. She has control of the Floo Network and breaks open written mail…”

“Wait, go back. What portrait?” Washu pried.

“Phineas Nigellus was a former Headmaster of Hogwarts. He also happens to be Sirius’ great-great grandfather…” Hermione started to explain.

“…which means we can contact Mr. Black and Mr. Lupin!” Ayeka finished.

“But the room is no doubt heavily guarded!” Harry pointed out. “How can we break in?”

Ryoko waved her hand. “Why can’t I just phase in? It shouldn’t be difficult!”

Washu tapped her finger to her jaw and considered it. “It’s risky but it just might work. What we need is a distraction…”

“Leave it to us!” Fred chimed in.

“We’ve got it taken care of,” George laughed.

Fred turned to Lee and put his hand on the lad’s shoulder. “Lee, the school will look to you for pranks. Do what you have to do, but keep them laughing…for us.”

Nodding, Lee hugged his best friends. “Anything for a Weasley!”

“How are you going to distract Umbridge?” Sasami asked.

George laughed. “I think I can speak for both of us when I say we have some ideas.”

*HPVFTS*

The twins knew they were being followed by Mrs. Norris the cat all morning. Even though Ayeka had warned them to be on their best behavior, the Prankster Duo could not be bothered to hide their dislike of the school. It was too easy to show the school that they should not be let down by their new Headmistress, but rather should embrace the situation.

“Are you ready for this Fred?”

“I am George. I must say, your rhyme scheme has improved since the last time we tried something like this.”

George beamed. “What can I say, I’ve got talent!”

The pair had stopped to admire a set of armor that was propped up in the hallway. They looked quickly at each other and nodded. “Perfect!”

They looked at Mrs. Norris and studied her. “Well George, how should we attract old Dolores’ attention?”

“Do we need to really go and have an invitation? It’s almost lunchtime. I think we should go and eat…don’t you?”

Fred looked from the cat to his twin and nodded. “Yes, lunch really is a great idea! We do all of our best thinking during…lunch,” he winked. The cat scurried away, presumably to Filch and the two red haired twins regarded their situation.

“Mum’s gonna kill us,” George laughed.

“Right she is. Is that a problem, Gred?”

“Not if it isn’t for you Feorge!”

*HPVFTS*

Umbridge was on the lookout.

She knew there was mischief afoot in her school, but had no idea of knowing what was going to happen. She spied Jurai’s sister walking into the Great Hall with the Potter boy and their gang of degenerates. ‘Those Japanese students have been an issue since day one…I will be certain to never allow foreigners in our school again.’ She looked to see where Ryoko Hakubi was, but was distracted by a most peculiar sight.

“What in the world…?” she muttered.

As everybody sat down to eat, a procession of armor marched into the Great Hall and lined up down the rows. The students started to laugh, poking the metal men with their wands. Umbridge got up at once to investigate. She could not see the Weasley twins anywhere, so she assumed this was their move.

“Mr. Filch, fetch me the Weasley twins! They are no doubt behind this! Suits of armor, reveal your purpose to me now!” she roared striking one with her wand.

Filch ran to leave the Great Hall, but the doors slammed shut on him. He tried pulling them open, but they would not budge. Umbridge was far too distracted to notice Washu fiddling with something under the table.

At once, the armor began to tap their feet in perfect unison. It sounded like they were keeping some kind of rhythm. Suddenly, one of the pieces of armor began to emit music. It was an unfamiliar tune to nearly all of the crowd, but the armor was keeping the beat regardless. Then, all together, they began to speak:

“The Ministry was having trouble, what a sad, sad story. Needed a headmistress to restore their former glory. Where oh where was she? Where could that toad be? Fudge looked around, and then he found the witch for you and me! And now it’s…”

Upon saying those words, the doors flew open and the Weasley twins rode in on their broomsticks. The flew around the room and let off a firework. The flames surrounded the doors, leaving a sparkling path in its wake. The teachers and students were watching the spectacle intently, with only the Slytherins and Umbridge attempting to do anything about it.

“Springtime for Umbridge and the Ministry! Hogwarts is happy and gay!” Fred sang.

“We’re marching to a faster pace! Purebloods, we know, are the master race!” George agreed.

The two flew around, continuing to send spell after spell at Umbridge, who was presently being chased by an assortment of light that took the form of a hissing cat.

“Springtime for Umbridge and the Ministry!” the two shouted.

“Winter for Muggles and elves!” the armor replied.

“Springtime for Umbridge and the Ministry…we don’t like it, we’ll annoy her ourselves!” Fred, George, and the armor joined together.

The music continued as the Inquisitorial Squad, including Ayeka, were hit by each individual ball of light. Upon being stricken, their faces blew up and started to get covered in cat hair. The students started to scream and ran away from the Weasley twins. Umbridge, however, stood her ground.

“You will cease flying this instant or you will regret it!” she yelled.

“I don’t think we will you old toad!” Fred scoffed at her.

“We’ve decided if you are this school’s future we’d rather go out into the world uneducated…”

“Inexperienced…”

“And far happier people!” they both agreed.

“Students of Hogwarts, write to Weasley’s Wizarding Wheezes and we will do our best to supply all of your pranking needs!” George yelled.

“Half off our entire stock if you pledge yourself to getting rid of this old bitch!”

Umbridge turned a new shade of red and started sending curses in their direction. “HOW DARE YOU!”

“How dare us? Like this! Hit it Fred!” George wailed as they raced toward the door.

The twin doors to the Great Hall opened in an instant and the twin boys flew out of the building. The stopped only for a moment to regard Peeves the poltergeist. He stared at the pair and looked at the mayhem occurring all around him. “Whatcha doing Weasels?”

“Causing anarchy and chaos Peeves!”

“Give her hell from us!”

Peeves removed his hat and bowed to the pair as they left Hogwarts school, their friends, and their education behind.

*HPVFTS*

The twins flew their brooms all the way to 12 Grimmuald Place. After finding the Burrow empty, they expected to find their mother, and their expected punishment for dropping out, here. They entered the doors and braced themselves for the worst.

“Mum? You here?” Fred asked nervously.

“It’s us, your favorite sons!” George weakly chuckled.

Suddenly, the form of Molly Weasley appeared from the other room. “What are you boys doing here?! Shouldn’t you be in school?!”

Fred loosened his necktie and laughed. “Well…you see…”

Molly put her finger to his lips. “Hush now! We heard all about it! We will discuss this when your father returns. Right now, we have very important business to attend to.”

“Wait, what?! How did you know…?!” Fred was floored.

“What are you talking about mum?” George asked his mother.

Mrs. Weasley motioned to the dining room door. The two could make out voices in the dining room and made their way over to it. They thought they heard Sirius and Remus talking, but there were a few unfamiliar voices in there too. They opened the door to the dining room and were blown away by what they saw.

“Professor Dumbledore?!” the two said in unison, both just as surprised to see their Headmaster.

The bespectacled man’s grimace turned into a weak smile and regarded the pair. “Ah, Fred and George. I was just informed of your daring escapades by Phineas Nigellus. It seems as if I left my school in worse shape than I was expecting.”

Fred snapped out of his amazement and rushed over to him. “Professor, it’s terrible! Umbridge is…”

“The least of our worries I am afraid. I fear that the worst is just about to occur, as we were all discovering before you arrived. Now why don’t you both join us before Molly here has a chat with you? Mr. Malfoy here was just in the process of telling us about Voldemort’s plan to attack Hogwarts,” Dumbledore gravely told the pair.

The twins looked at the blonde haired man who escaped their notice earlier. They stared at him and then at each other.

“Hold on…what?!”