Kiyoka

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  • Kiyoka
    Member

    Mittens wrote:

    Also, what would TU Kiyone think of this Magical Project S episode? />.>” title=”>.>” class=”bbcode_smiley” /></p> <p><a href=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=</YOUTUBE&gt;

    I’m going to guess from memory of that shot its the one Kiyone goes on a date?

    Kiyoka
    Member
    Her OAV hair is the best for quality. Plus her first hair colour IS greenish teal (see Hasegawa novel covers too!)

    Don’t see why people love her hair in the 2nd TMIL2 pic. I quite like her pulled up her in the above shot more. Makes her look sexeh :P

    Kiyoka
    Member
    Noboyuki’s world is so easy to imagine.. Tenchi Muyo: Super Hentai edition

    Ryo ohki: Carrot trees, carrot bushes, carrot… everthing with Sasami ofc

    Kiyoka
    Member

    DarkRoxima wrote:

    Thx guys. It is going to be difficult linking universe and OAV to TiT. What I’m trying to do is use universe as the prequel to TiT and add some elements from OAV. After rewatching TiT, I desperately wanted to write this fanfic to fix a lot of mistakes from that show, even if it was a spinoff.

    In other words, I’m turning it into a spin-on (get it?!) :Cheeks:

    Mixing all 3 main continueties into one. Tricky because you can’t have everything from all the series…

    • May 14, 2012 at 10:08 PM
    • in reply to: Hello!
    Kiyoka
    Member
    Ah you came, welcome :D!

    Just to be sure you know who I am, I have the same name on Kita and cosplay island. So yes! The person wearing glasses and the bunny hat that must of went “Kiyoneee!!!” and asking for your photo! I actually don’t remember what I said lol. I see there was a Tenchi shoot! OMG would of SOOOO hung out :O! That’s SO rare!

    Yes indeedy as others have said you make a fine Kiyone cosplayer. The wig too is great! I have one the same colour but woah its so smooth. I’m usually a shy person but when I saw you cosplaying as Kiyone I thought “omfg must meet her :O!!”

    Wish we could of talked more irl booo ;-; but as I said in a PM it looked like you was going somwhere so… I went :P

    I wish I got the chance to tell you for the brief minute I met you, but I cosplay Kiyone too (did I tell you I cosplayed her? erm..) as my Evil version. http://apple-kitty.deviantart.com/art/Mag-cover-53847939?q=gallery%3Aapple-kitty%2F9067731&qo=29 Thats just the character drawn (not by me, I designed her) just browse my gallery for my failed attempts to cosplay her. XD

    Still striving to make it complete. Getting claws made… getting proper wig styled. Oh yes, and I need to wear some red contacts!

    Will you be at Amecon this year? I would sooooooooooo love it if you cosplayed Kiyone on the sunday, as I plan to do my Evil Kiyone. Imagine the photosssss @.@!

    Kiyoka
    Member
    If you had to bother Petrea would it be a few words or whole sentances? Either way… I doubt she’d co-operate. She may get into trouble with Funi I guess. Worst case scenario…
    Kiyoka
    Member

    Quote:

    “Do you remember her, Tenchi?”

    Tenchi looks at the image of Sakuya that Washu is projecting on the wall in his apartment.

    Is this supposed to be a flashback? There’s no clear indication. Changing the font is fine, but let the readers know its a flashback. I’ll write it how I’d do it in my style. MMy addition is in bold.

    “I must get Sakuya back!” Tenchi thought, running through the crystallized buildings surrounding Tokyo.

    As his feet ached along with his heart, a stubbon memory flashed in his mind.

    “Do you remember her, Tenchi?”

    Tenchi looked at the image of Sakuya that Washu projected on the wall in his apartment.

    Quote:

    It’s quiet. There is no sign of life anywhere. All but crystals and darkness surround him.

    It was quiet <-- Do not use "its quiet" unless someone is speaking it. Tenchi took a giant leap towards Yugi’s lair and before he arrived, a flash of light appears and Tenchi is blinded by it. Tenchi struggles to open his eyes and regain sight. Slowly Tenchi begins to open his eyes. He begins to see a blurry image of a place very familiar to him. When he fully regained his sight, he was floating down upon the high school entrance.

    “What’s going on? How did I end up here?” He thought.

    He landed safely yet confused. While looking around for answers, he noticed a groups of people out in the main entrance. He ran towards them.

    “Hey!!! Wait up!!” Still they don’t respond to him. “Help!!! I’m looking for someone!”

    One of the girls stops and turns around, and Tenchi comes to a complete stop.

    Sakuya…

    Is, that, really you…?

    “Hey Tenchi! Is everything, OK with you?” She replied.

    Tenchi is in loss with words. He slowly walks up to her.

    Sakuya…

    “What’s wrong with you? It looks like you just saw a gh…”

    Tenchi quickly hugged her before she could even finish.

    “I thought I lost you…” he said, with a tear running down his face.

    “You did lose her, Tenchi…” she said.

    Quote:

    Tenchi looks down on her and before he realizes, he rapidly feels excruciating pain below his chest.

    Doesn’t make sense. How can he feel pain before realising? I’ll try and re write it

    Tenchi looked down in confusion, which was cut through in an instant replaced by a sharp excruciating pain below his chest. Before he realised it, blood had surrounded his feet.

    Its your fic, and I’m not an editor. I may have missed some things though. So take my edits and stuff like a pinch of salt.

    Kiyoka
    Member
    mmm I wonder if my fic would of won awards..
    Kiyoka
    Member

    Roas_Atrades wrote:

    Greetings to what seems to be one of the few Tenchidoms left on the internet.

    Last decade I used to go by Roas Atrades within the Tenchi fanfic circles, which is why I’ve come by here. Hopefully there are some of you out there that remember and were fans of my Tenchi fanfic series. This may seem somewhat shameless, oh hell, it is shameless…I have just begun to release some of my own original works through Amazon.com’s Kindle store.

    Basically, I’m looking around to try and spread the word to circles I currently know and travel in, and to those who may have remembered and enjoyed my stories in the past. So I’m basically here to try and drum up support from past achievements and fame from my old Tenchi fanfic days, as many supporters always said they’d love to see my original stuff one day.

    Now, to not be entirely selfish or shamless, I am also currently working on a new Tenchi fanfic set in the Universe setting, so I have not abandoned Tenchi entirely. In fact, to me Universe is the only pure setting left in the series after OAV 3 soured me entirely on that verse. So one day I would love to put up that story here as well as a few other places I plan to.

    That all being said, due to this post possibly being deemed unwelcome with its purpose, I will refrain from posting the link to my first book on Amazon until I am granted permission. With permission from those who run this forum, as I would not wish to truly be borish, I will post a link if anyone is truly interested in seeing an old Tenchi fanfic authors original pieces.

    Thank you for your time, and I apologize if I have offended anyone with this sudden appearence and request for support.

    Hmm your name doesn’t ring a bell I’m afraid.

    Pssh, its all well and good to tell us about your fanfics, but what about you? IT seems more like an advertisement than an intro post :mrgreen:

    I don’t know if I have read any of your Tenchi fanfics. Its good to know you’re working on a TU fic. Curious to see what its about. You could always check mine out too located in the Fanfiction section here on the forums.

    Hmm yes and I will take one of your eyes also :Cheeks:

    Kiyoka
    Member

    wwwwhhhhoooo wrote:

    At loooong last, guess Who got off his lazy butt & read chapter 3 (sorry, really have been busy) & my initial impression if I had to put it in a single word would probably be: fun. :D

    This chapter along with the previous has shown once again your ability to create dialogue and describe behaviors that sound so believable and true to their corresponding characters. I think you being a Kiyo fan may really aid in that…not that I’m stereotyping (well, maybe I am a bit, but hear me out) but if this scenario were written by an Ayeka or Ryoko fan (which I am obviously) I don’t know if it would have turned out as well as it did. Ryoko and Ayeka’s dialogue and behavior seemed so authentic, as though taken through the eyes of a more objective third party (which obviously this is third person, so I’m sure you’re striving for that objectivity in a way) kind of how I imagine Kiyone’s–a smart, level-headed [usually…lol] collected person–take on a typical Ryoko/Ayeka fight…not really taking sides, just seeing them as the pointless squabbles that they so often truly are.

    And on top of that, as a Ryoko fan I think you did a superb job with her in particular–yeah she’s a trouble-maker sometimes, but 1) she really cares about Tenchi & is the main source of her troublemaking pursuits (as exemplified by her apologizing to Tenchi in that adorable, sheepish way she does–nice job btw) & 2) even though she teased Kiyone (the breasts bit was pretty funny, I dunno why lol) when Kiyone was slobbering drunk, she of course does the right thing & takes her up to her room to put her to bed, because that’s what friends do when friends are sh*tfaced 😆

    Speaking of Kiyone drunk… OMG!!! You actually wrote it in!!! She was yelling at a door! 😆 😆 😆 that bit was hilarious, & Washu’s line about putting her to bed before she argues with another inanimate object…priceless!

    Great work Kiyoka thank you so much for sharing keep us posted on future works!

    Thank you, glad you enjoyed it. I write half for the fans anyway, and reviews keep me going that extra mile :Tenchismile:

    I was considering doing dialogue for her argument with the door. Unsure I could pull it off I left it out. It seems fine without it anyway :)

    NOw that the 1st arc of the story is over, the fun begins! :Cheeks:

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