wwwwhhhhoooo

[BBvideo 425,350]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uU-aWyeoj6U[/BBvideo]

…yeah it’s true, I’m starting to get sucked in to MLP…don’t knock it til ya try it!

First of all if I may drop my two cents with regards to present/past tense of the verbage (yep, verb-age…made up a word, just felt like it)

Kiyoka was addressing that most western novels are (traditionally) written past-tense (he took he landed etc) whereas present-tense, as you’ve written, would be used if one were writing in screen-play format (which is what a tv episode such as Tenchi would be written in, as is anything if it’s going to be something visual, i.e. video) though actual script format has alot more shtuff you don’t have to worry about.

As Kiyoka said, it doesn’t matter which way you do it, it’s your fanfic! Write it however you want, and imo the present-tense format–even during the flashback/memories–you used here worked great! (though admittedly, was a tiny-bit confused as to where we were going, flashback? dream? etc., again if this is more written as a script the video would show us rather than telling us and it would work out fine, whereas an author of a novel has to tell us). Felt like I was ‘in the moment’ with Tenchi’s repressed memories/nightmares. Plus with fanfics, we’re not too concerned about ‘proper’ format right? It’s just for fun, and as long as the content of your material is graspable by your readers, go with it!

I thought it was a good read, and as you predicted you really left us hanging with alot of questions (that’s what an author should do) and I’m also curious to see how you’ll manage incorporating Universe and oav into TIT narrative…a daunting task, imho. Well done, thanks for posting.

Thanks for the editing. This was a rough draft of what I was writing. I finished the first chapter but there’s still some editing left to do.