evilpii

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  • evilpii
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    shadowsfall0 wrote:

    The idea of a world in which Kagato succeeds or even Kain has crossed my mind several times. I would definitely read that fanfiction if it is produced. :D

    Well, I have Washu speculating about that briefly in Homecomings: Masaki, though I have not fleshed it out more. The more I think about it, the more an alternate history aside might be fun. [nagi1]

    shadowsfall0 wrote:

    As for me I need to figure a few things for my current fanfiction project. I actually need to think of an equal experience between Ayeka and Tenchi as there is an experience for Ryoko and Tenchi I have planned. If you guys have any suggestions on that, I would be very open to them cx.

    A common tactic used in several stories is to Ayeka’s dream of a courtly romance. This would include such tasks as attending formal dinners and the like. Another would be to break her of her regal training slowly. In this case, one might have her date her beau more casually. Okuda’s manga gives a very good story in this vein. :Tenchismile:

    The main issue here is maintaining Ayeka’s character while maturing her relationship with Tenchi. Since her character was meant as a foil to Ryoko’s, you might consider Tenchi sharing with Ayeka what he either can’t or won’t share with Ryoko.

    shadowsfall0 wrote:

    Also Pii I have a few ideas on why Tenchi can’t use his material conversion and on how to make a deeper role for Washu.

    Lay them on us. [nagi3]

    Kiyoka wrote:

    shadowsfall0 wrote:

    The idea of a world in which Kagato succeeds or even Kain has crossed my mind several times. I would definitely read that fanfiction if it is produced. :D

    Funny you should say that ;D *ahem* sort of anyay

    Yeah, you could say that. http://evilpii.50webs.com/forum/tu-mitsuki2.png" />

    evilpii
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    shadowsfall0 wrote:

    I may use a name from the Manga series that Okuda wrote, perhaps Garyu who did take Ayeka(a bit similar to the original) but it all will come together as I think on it more cx

    chucklocker wrote:

    shadowsfall0 wrote:

    I may use a name from the Manga series that Okuda wrote, perhaps Garyu who did take Ayeka


    Oh Pii, this one is after your own heart! Lol.

    And, I quite approve. Perhaps using Garyu might give some more impetus for why the Figure is taking this action. Perhaps he will be using Tenchi to try and rebuild Oku II. [nagi1]

    chucklocker wrote:

    I will be especially curious to see how you plan on pulling off the tripartite relationship of Tenchi Ryoko and Ayeka.

    As am I. The Tenchi Solution, i.e. marry both, is a commonly quoted way the series could end, particularly considering the ending of GXP. isawitplz However, if you plan to flesh out the trinity relationship, you will have my attention. :Tenchismile:

    Kiyoka wrote:

    That quite frankly bothers me about your idea :/ Do people percieve the only ending to the show where Tenchi gets a girl? In all honesty if OAV 4 was made and Tenchi chose it would ruin it. Not quite sure how to expain it, but by not having the ending where he choses gives the illusion of it going on forever. i should probablly try and come up with more explination :S

    This is another possible solution to the problem, though one that gets old. Typically, there is no character growth or progression of story. That was my main problem with OVA 2, where they stay at the house most of the time, and little changes.

    Now, if someone were to try Option 3, I would be impressed. http://evilpii.50webs.com/forum/ramia2.png" />

    Kiyoka wrote:

    I ddin’t read too deep yet into your idea, but the next biggest issue was Tenchi getting super powers from the mass like Ryoko’s. Seems a *tad* silly imo. Just slap some mass on him and BAM Ryoko like powers. Tenchi already has an astonishing power, and he gets flying, teleportation and phasing? Overkill.

    This issue had crossed my mind, which is why I considered Tenchi using the Light Hawk Wings to recuperate. Considering Ryoko has also come into this same power, they could teach one another and grow closer in that way, rather than a more one-sided instruction from Ryoko to Tenchi. However, if you were able to pull off Tenchi receiving a mass upgrade effectively without breaking the story, I would not mind. :Tenchismile:

    Again, take our comments as just that. This is your story, and we eagerly await what you will pen. http://evilpii.50webs.com/forum/kamidake1.png" />

    evilpii
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    You have a fairly nice outline of events planned here, and I look forward to seeing how they come together. Below are my thoughts at present. I do invite you to share any new ideas in the Suggestions thread. ^^v

    Overall, I see four main story arcs here.

  • Tenchi accepts his love for Ryoko and Ayeka.

  • Katsuhito/Yosho requests a duel, and Tenchi goes into training.

  • A new foe rises to threaten the world, and Tenchi vanishes in combat. Six months later, Tenchi reappears controlled and is saved at a heavy cost.

  • After recovering with the mass, Tenchi and Yosho’s duel finally culminates, and the household settles into their new roles as leaders or parents themselves.

    • Depending on the length of each, you might consider breaking the overarching plot into four stories, sequels of one another. Individually, I could see each of these being interesting studies in and of themselves. ^^v

    I like the idea of using the Mass to rehabilitate Tenchi, as it does give him a taste of Ryoko’s life, as well as bringing them closer. However, is there something comparable for Ayeka? Considering that Ryoko saved him from the Figure and helped him convalesce, you might offer the first princess an equally significant part of his life. Also, since Tenchi’s wings have the ability to perform material transformation, could he not use his wings to regenerate his missing limbs? This would be not unlike Z recreating his eye, or EVA 01 reforming its arm. As you already have a pseudo-science way of eliminating prosthetics, you might consider a similar reason this method could be ruled out.

    The time-compressed pocket dimension and energy-absorbing villain is reminiscent of the Android story arc in Dragonball Z, though depending on its execution, it could be interesting to see. I would like to see how it is implemented before passing any judgment on it.

    I do approve of your focus on the central cast, namely Tenchi, Ryoko, and Ayeka. However, do you have any plans for Mihoshi and Washu, outside of the Figure’s story arc? Will Mihoshi accept and step aside when Tenchi states his love for Ryoko and Ayeka? One might think that would have to be handled in some manner.

    Again, you have some interesting ideas here, and I am interested to see how they progress. Let us know when you have a chapter to read. [nagi3]

evilpii
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Reading this myself, I find this focused primarily on the transformation from the Makibi Kiyone character we all know into some savage beast, roughly based on the mitsu from Okuda’s manga.

Overall, ignoring the grammatical issues, the description was quite visceral with lots of focus on the individual stages of the transformation. This succeeded in taking the reader aback as to the extent of the reconfiguration of Kiyone’s body. However, a picky point would be from where did her extra mass arise? Considering she started roughly shy of 5’6″ and ended over 12′ in length indicates a substantial increase in bulk, as emphasized in the scene. Something that could not only explain this, but also add to the horrific sight, would be for her to consume the corpse beside her as she transforms, rather than afterward. That way, whatever heightened metabolism is causing her body to change could process the other body into her own mass. Moreover, having her covered in the corpse’s blood and entrails as she grows ever more bestial, no doubt, would cause her to be more magnificently primal.

I am interested in the emotions that she felt during this event. The pain of the transformation would be obvious, though the pleasure is another matter. Granted, endorphins might be the culprit, though I’m curious as to what part of her psyche might relish this metamorphosis. Might there be a dark part of her mind that she has kept hidden? Kiyone is known for being fairly well-disciplined and restrained, but we know she has fits of anger now and then. While her body might send her pleasure from the pathogen in the room, would she enjoy it as well?

In terms of plot, this segment is fairly scant, with good reason. This is likely to be integrated into a larger piece. However, several questions have come to mind. Where is her partner, or backup? Why would she walk into a trap if she had an inkling of its existence? Why did she not use some other implement besides her hand to stop the gas, such as her shirt or a GP-licensed rebreather? She is known as the “paragon of detectives”, so one would think she might anticipate or be more careful in this situation.

evilpii
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evilpii wrote:

Since I’m currently in transit to a conference, I will not be able to post the PDF version until I return in a week. ^^;

And now, the PDF version of Homecomings: Jurai Chapter 2. ^_^V

evilpii
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chucklocker wrote:


evilpii wrote:

For example, what if Tenchi fell to Kagato, in OVA or TV? How would the family, and the universe as a whole, cope? That would be a fan fiction I would read.

This is actually another idea I had considered previously. I had imagined a scenario in which Kagato had somehow succeeded in capturing Tsunami. What would happen then? Would Tokimi intervene to aide her sisters, or would she actually revel in the chaos? Could she intervene even if she wanted to considering Kagato’s position? Would we somehow see Tenchi and Z team up, even begrudgingly to take down a common enemy? Oh how I love alternate story speculation! It’s a never ending source of totally nerdy and thought provoking fun!

That each of those could be some fun ideas to test. ^^v I did a little speculation here and there in stories already about the Universe continuity if, say, Kagato or Kain succeeded. What would a Kagato-ruled Jurai be like? Would he be a tyrannical ruler, perhaps even try his hand at conquest of the galaxy? What might become of our beloved cast? [nagi1]

evilpii
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Now, Chapter 3 has begun. [nagi1]

For Homecomings: Masaki, we have a private moment between Tenchi and Ryoko. I tried to keep this tasteful, and hope I managed to succeed. bth_images13-1

For Homecomings: Jurai, Ayeka’s troubles from Inheritance are reviewed, mostly from her and Ryu-Oh’s point of view. Yes, Ryu-Oh becomes a focus. bth_Ayeka

I hope you all enjoy. ^^V

evilpii
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chucklocker wrote:

Goodness, what an awesome thread concept! I’m proud to have played a role in shaping it!

Thanks for the help! ^^V We need more collaborative projects around here. [nagi1]

chucklocker wrote:


Your first idea, involving a different/disastrous timeline crossing over into your main line, is one that I find very intriguing! If you are seeking a source of inspiration, I would direct you to watch an episode of Star Trek: Voyager (“Deadlock,” Season 2, ep. 21), in which a very similar event occurs. I would imagine that the “refugees” from the crappy timeline would be quite desperate, and might even come out attacking their counterparts in an attempt to take over their places. It would be interesting to see how your characters will react to their “bad” counterparts, with mercy at first but forced brutality later? Quite good food for though. As for adapting it into an established story, I would think that it would best fit as a sort of “after story.” Not quite a sequel, but more than an additional chapter. Sort of like an add-on story that readers can feel free to read or skip at their leisure. The same would go for your Ryoko idea I would imagine, seeing as it is dependent on an established story, but doesn’t have any bearing on the established story itself.

Thanks for the “Voyager” reference. ^^v I forget if I’d seen that episode or not, but I do remember “Year of Hell”, which was a similar time travel story. Hmm… a one-shot would be a cool idea, somewhat like the “History of Trunks” special in Dragonball. I’ll have to consider that idea more deeply before I can implement it. ^^;;

Truthfully, I do hope that others might take the “alternate history” idea and run with it. For example, what if Tenchi fell to Kagato, in OVA or TV? How would the family, and the universe as a whole, cope? That would be a fan fiction I would read. [nagi3]

chucklocker wrote:

I have this great vision of a story involving Seto standing trial for her many backdoor manipulations and dirty dealings. Now, before anybody jumps to any conclusions, this is NOT some lame fanboy attempt to smack Seto around because I think she’s a “mary sue.” As I said a long time ago, she’s a very cool character with poor onscreen development. Anyway, my idea would involve the story beginning with the trial, and working backwards almost through a combination of testimony and flashbacks. I would like to explore the inner crises that such an event would cause not only for Seto, but for the other characters as well, after all most of them are her intimate family. As for the trial itself, I had in mind a sort of military tribunal taking place in the immediate aftermath of a disastrous struggle on Jurai. I’m not sure who I would have presiding/prosecuting/defending though, and I would be open to any ideas. I also haven’t got a clue at the moment as to how to end the story 😆

I would seriously enjoy seeing this. We had discussed doing something similar with Homecomings, but my version of Seto isn’t the “official” one. ^^; Your concept sounds a lot like the serial Trial of a Timelord from Doctor Who, which is also told via flashbacks to particular incidents with an overarching trial backdrop.

I could see Azusa or Funaho presiding over the case, though you might want someone new or scarcely used for that job. Preferably, this person would have no direct or known ties to the defendant, perhaps Ramia. The Juraihelm priests look a lot like the judge from Phoenix Wright, which could be cool. ^^v

… Actually, Ramia might be a better prosecutor. Edgeworth? :Tenchismile:

evilpii
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After five months, Chapter 2 of Homecomings: Jurai is now completed. ^^V This chapter concludes with some severe thickening of Ayeka’s story and a brief discussion between the knights. I hope you all enjoy. ^^VV

Since I’m currently in transit to a conference, I will not be able to post the PDF version until I return in a week. ^^; However, I have already started work on Chapter 3. ^^V In between the mathematics, I’ll be hammering out new segments and post them as they get approved. ^^v

evilpii
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To start this discussion, I have had a story idea regarding parallel universes, particularly alternate timelines. In Dark Energy Trilogy and Homecomings, I have established Tokimi and the planet Ryua as major antagonists. A planned story has conflict wage between Jurai and Ryua, culminating with a confrontation with Tokimi. Naturally, I have a tentative ending in mind for that event.

However, I have dabbled with the idea of a second ending, where everything collapses. I have actually been considering the incorporation of this into the story by having characters from the “bad end” use some of Washu’s technology to cross into the “good end”, searching for help or sanctuary. This is an idea that has yet to be fully developed. Constructive comments and criticisms on this idea are welcome.

After talking with Chuck, I had the idea of adapting this scenario to an already completed work, Tenchi Muyo! versus Men in Black. In a similar vein, there is a critical event in this story, which has significant effect on the following two stories, namely Ryoko and Ayeka’s battle with Illirg. In the story itself, Ryoko was meant to be “infected” with the “other voice”, rather than Ayeka. This incident creates “Dark Ayeka”.

However, what might have happened if Ryoko had been consumed, rather than Ayeka? How different would the timeline become from that singular change? Would this make an interesting stand-alone story, or perhaps a chapter in Homecomings?

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