A warning that there is some NSFW language in this spin-offy chapter. Again, don’t take my stuff seriously. I plan on editing it/adding to it at some point, possibly. I may even add Sakuya or Tenchi/Mihoshi stuff in, but I really wanted to focus on Kiyone, because she is awesome.
—-
-One Year Earlier-
My name is Kiyone Makibi, and I used to have it all. I’ve starred in at least one series you may have heard of, plus some movies you may have seen as well. And then it happened. Before you asked, that thing wasn’t Mihoshi leaving me stranded in space on some wacky invention of a mad scientist. That’s a bullshit story and she knows it.
The truth is, I was handed a pink slip from the very man that helped draw life into me. I still remember the day I was retconned, stripped from the canon. Someone must have pissed in his cornflakes that morning, because I didn’t even see his face. My services were no longer needed in the Tenchi Muyo franchise, unless I wanted to play the role of Tenchi’s mother, but he did offer me some roles in two of his other series. I wasn’t about to whore myself out in the world of hentai, so I flipped him off and left forever.
Ever since, I’ve been working retail in Central Tokyo, living day to day in a cramped apartment. At night, I go to the local bar and drink my worries away.
-One Year Later-
This one night, I met this girl.
We had met earlier that day, in the store I worked in, and then again at my favorite bar so it must have been some destiny bullshit. She was there sitting with her boyfriend, I guess because their hands never separated, and since there were no other seats I was forced to sit awkwardly next to them.
“Kiyone, what’ll it be?” asked Nagi, the bartender. Yeah, that’s right, she got shafted too after Tenchi Universe was over, but she made a damn good drink, and she was someone I could trust.
“The usual, Nagi.”
The woman next to me heard my name and turned to me, her hair a different shade a teal and face much more ugly.
“Kiyone? You’re Kiyone Makibi, aren’t you?” she asked.
I faked a polite smile, not really wanting to talk to this woman, however she knew me.
“Why, yes, I am. And you would be?”
“I’m Noike Kamiki Jurai. I was hired after you left. People were calling me the new you, but I never saw the resemblance,” she explained.
“Nope, not at all. Please don’t tell Mihoshi where I am,” I insisted, “Ever.”
She agrees and goes on to tell me all of the crap that has happened in this show since I was fired; Tenchi having a half-brother, Tenchi’s half-brother getting sent to his death in another dimension, Tenchi having an affair with Mihoshi and how the script called for all of the girls, barring Satsunami, to get married and have children with Tenchi. All of them. Even Ryo-Ohki got in on that action.
“I’m leaving to be with Amagasaki, so maybe there will be an opening, if you’re interested,” she offered. She could guess my answer by the way I took my shot of whiskey.
“I am never ever ever, getting back into that series,” I sang, “No thank you.”
“Well then, you must be looking for work,” she replied.
The truth was, I hadn’t actually been actively seeking it. I liked my simple life, though I could use the extra dough I wasn’t desperate.
“I hear Pokemon is always hiring,” she suggested with a nostalgic grin, “You know, before I started acting on Tenchi, I played Butch for a couple seasons.”
“No way,” I spoke with sarcasm, but she had given me an idea.
The next day, after my hangover, I headed down to the Pokemon Studios with my resume in hand, and they happily gave me a role as an Officer Jenny.
Simple format- Ten year old cockfight– I mean Pokemon trainer travels throughout the world without any parental supervision, abusing animals trying to earn badges. The bad guys, usually Team Rocket, show up and try to steal his Pokemon, every episode. My job was to stop this evil, as a Galaxy Police Officer; I mean Officer Jenny. There was also this part where some 15-year old boy hits on me. It was awkward.
“Isn’t that Team Rocket?” I spoke one day, pointing to a man with lavender hair, a woman with magenta hair that spiraled and a talking Meowth.
“What? How can you tell?” wondered Satoshi, the show’s main character for twenty years, though somehow he was still ten years old.
“CUT!” yelled the director of the show, at me, “For the last time, Officer Jenny, Kiyone. Read your lines!”
“But it’s obviously Team Rocket!” I pointed out, “Those aren’t even convincing disguises!”
“Yes they are!” insisted Ash.
“I sewed all of these costumes by hand,” complained James.
“It’s always obvious who they are, but you fucking fall for it every episode,” I said, getting a glare from my beautiful magenta-haired co-star.
“Look, Kiyone. This is a kids show. Sure, we can show my bare stomach or upskirts but we can’t use language like that,” Jessie said to me, “If you want to make it here, just follow your script!”
“Okay, okay,” I sighed, as the director yelled action again.
Later that night, I went to the bar with Jessie. We ordered some drinks.
“I’m sorry, I guess a kids’ show is a lot different from a harem,” I complained as she sipped a cocktail, shrugging.
“One boy surrounded by a bunch of girls,” she replied, “Not really, in this case.”
“At least he doesn’t marry and have kids with each of them like the asshole in charge of my ex-franchise,” I said.
“Nah, that only happens in fanfiction,” said Jessie. The woman from the previous night walked in and sat down next to us, and Jessie waved, “Hey Butch… I mean Noike.”
-To Be Continued-
