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- January 15, 2014 at 11:58 PM
- in reply to: No Need For Time Travel!
shadowsfall0 wrote:The twist at the end was really nice, too. Again, Washu and Mihoshi’s reaction was perfect. The way you made them interact is something that reminds me of early OVA style but you never saw much of it afterward. Good on you for bringing back the “Genius and klutz” dynamic.
Thanks for noticing, I missed that in ova also (in episode 5 and 6 it’s brilliant) so I flushed it out a bit here.
& glad you laughed, I did too.
- January 15, 2014 at 11:39 PM
- in reply to: No Need For Time Travel!
[align=center]ACT TWO[/align] FADE IN:
INT. TENCHI’S ROOM – DAY (PRESENT)ANGLE ON RAI as he grudgingly opens his eyes while lying on a rollout bed mat on the floor.
[align=center]RAI(sotto voce)
Ugh…oh, my aching–
(flinching)
It wasn’t me! It was all Kenchi’s idea!
[/align] A BEAT
RAI looks around.
The room is quiet and empty, save for KENCHI out cold underneath the sheets of a bed.
RAI hovers, cautiously examining his surroundings.
He notices KENCHI asleep in bed.
RAI phases and appears hovering right over KENCHI.
[align=center]RAI (CONT’D)(looking back at bed mat)
Pft. Even in some stranger’s house,
hegets the preferential treatment! [/align] RAI’S broad ears perk up to muffled voices outside the room.
[align=center]WASHU (O.S.)For the last time,
noMihoshi! For the time being, only Iam allowed to check in on them. [/align] [align=center]MIHOSHI (O.S.)Well, for the, umm…eleventieth time, why can’t any of the rest of us help?
[/align] [align=center]RAI(sotto voce)
Why does her voice sound familiar?
(gasps – sotto voce)
Is that Washu?!
[/align] AD LIB WASHU lecturing MIHOSHI O.S.
[align=center]RAI (CONT’D)(sotto voce)
What is
shedoing here?! Oh man, she’s probably gonna’ make Guinea pigs out of us for tampering with her machine! [/align] The muffled voices O.S. get louder.
RAI nervously surveys the room before eying a notebook and pen sitting atop a desk.
ANGLE ON DESKTOP
[align=center]RAI (O.S.) (CONT’D)Hmmmm….
[/align] INT. MASAKI HOUSEHOLDWASHU and MIHOSHI stand right outside the closed door of TENCHI’S room.
[align=center]WASHUSuffice it to say, Mihoshi my dear, they are in a delicate state right now, and, err, might suffer “culture shock” if too many people interact with them at once. Does that satisfy your curiosity for the time being?
[/align] [align=center]MIHOSHIYou know it doesn’t, Miss Washu!
[/align] [align=center]WASHUToo bad. Now, if you’ll please wait right here….
[/align] WASHU slowly opens the door. She ducks inside, leaving MIHOSHI waiting somberly out in the hallway.
ANGLE ON MIHOSHI
[align=center]WASHU (O.S.) (CONT’D)GAAAAHHH!!! Mihoshi, get in here quick!
[/align] [align=center]MIHOSHIWait, but didn’t you just say–
[/align] WASHU’S arm protrudes from the now-open door and pulls MIHOSHI in.
[align=center]MIHOSHI (CONT’D)Yipe!
[/align] INT. TENCHI’S ROOMWASHU looks around the room nervously while MIHOSHI looks around curiously.
KENCHI remains asleep in bed, while there is no sign of RAI save for his empty bed roll and scattered sheets.
[align=center]MIHOSHINow wait just a minute: call it a detective’s intuition, but I’m pretty sure there were TWO unknown persons in this room!
[/align] [align=center]WASHU(angrily)
Grrrrr!
(grabs MIHOSHI)
Yes! But now there ISN’T! See the problem?!
[/align] A BEAT
[align=center]MIHOSHII do.
[/align] WASHU releases MIHOSHI in frustration and searches the room frantically.
[align=center]WASHUWhere?! Why?! How?! Help me look, Mihoshi!
[/align] MIHOSHI notices a piece of paper next to KENCHI’S head. She picks it up.
MIHOSHI’S POV
The note reads in sloppily-written words “I did it, signed me, Kenchi, not Rai…who is cool.”
BACK TO SCENE
[align=center]MIHOSHI(examining paper)
Hmmmm….
[/align] [align=center]WASHUWhat? What is it?
(notices note)
What’s this?
[/align] WASHU grabs the note from MIHOSHI’S fingers.
[align=center]MIHOSHIWhatever it was that we’re freaking out about, I have reason to suspect this “Kenchi” is our culprit!
[/align] WASHU sighs in defeat.
[align=right]CUT TO:[/align] EXT. MASAKI HOUSEHOLDRAI appears out of thin air onto the rooftop of the Masaki house.
He curiously examines his surroundings.
[align=center]RAI(looking at house – sotto voce)
Japanese architecture…nice.
[/align] RAI hovers down one of the grassy knolls surrounding the house.
WE SEE many of the familiar sites associated with the Masaki household, such as the shrine and the lake on RAI’S self-guided tour.
[align=center]RAI (CONT’D)(sotto voce)
This place is awesome! Yet, strangely familiar…but at any rate, why would Washu bring me and Kenchi here if…
(gulps)
…she knows we touched her doohickey!
[/align] RAI’S ears perk up again at the sound of distant voices.
KIYONE and SASAMI’S voices emanate from the garden nearby.
[align=center]SASAMI (O.S.)But aren’tcha’ curious about who those two were or where they came from?
[/align] [align=center]KIYONE (O.S.)Of course I am, kiddo. But you heard Washu, they need their rest for now. Just help me pick the rest of these tomatoes and you and Ryo-Ohki can cook them up something really nice for when they wake up!
[/align] [align=center]RYO-OHKI (O.S.)(happily)
Meow!
[/align] SASAMI giggles O.S.
RAI quietly sneaks towards the voices.
WE SEE SASAMI placing several tomatoes in a basket, with RYO-OHKI resting on her head.
[align=center]SASAMIThere! That should do it! Thanks, Kiyone, me and Ryo-Ohki are gonna’ chop these up in the kitchen!
[/align] SASAMI runs towards the house.
[align=center]KIYONE(calling after her)
Be careful with those knives!
[/align] [align=center]SASAMII know!
[/align] AD LIB RYO-OHKI meowing as the two fade into the distance.
ANGLE ON KIYONE.
KIYONE remains on her knees in the garden, enjoying what was left of a warm spring day.
Suddenly, KIYONE springs up quickly, eyes focused on a tree at the edge of the garden.
[align=center]KIYONERyoko! Is that you again? I’m not in the mood for playing space cops and robbers today!
[/align] A BEAT
[align=center]KIYONE (CONT’D)(pulling GP yo-yo out of pocket)
If that’s you, Ryoko, I’ll give you ‘til the count of four to come out of there!
[/align] ANGLE ON TREE
[align=center]RAI (O.S.)Why
four? (covering his mouth)
Doh!
[/align] [align=center]KIYONEHey! Okay, whoever you are, this is Galaxy Police Officer Kiyone Makibi, and I am ordering you to come out!
[/align] [align=center]RAI (O.S.)…Auntie Kiyone?
[/align] KIYONE’S stern expression lapses into one of utter confusion.
[align=right]CUT TO:[/align] INT. MASAKI HOUSEHOLDWASHU and MIHOSHI now stand in the main ground-floor room of the house.
[align=center]WASHULook, Mihoshi, there are certain things I wanted to keep secret from you and the others…things that must
stillbe kept secret…but unfortunately cannot be entirely avoided at this point. So, here’s what you’re going to do…. [/align] [align=center]MIHOSHI(raising hand)
Question!
[/align] [align=center]WASHUYes?
[/align] [align=center]MIHOSHICan I put on my detective uniform? ‘Cuz I reeeally feel like this sort of murder mystery scenario really calls for it.
[/align] [align=center]WASHUMystery what? No, Mihoshi, there’s no murder to solve,
(sotto voce)
at least, I hope there won’t be,
(to MIHOSHI)
but at any rate, we need to find someone in this very house, Mihoshi, who doesn’t “fit in.”
[/align] WASHU places her hands on MIHOSHI’S shoulders, looking her in the eyes.
WASHU’S POV
MIHOSHI has a placid look on her face.
[align=center]WASHU (CONT’D)Understand, Mihoshi? One of these things is not like the others.
[/align] [align=center]MIHOSHI…like Ryoko! She’s the only one of us who can fly!
[/align] BACK TO SCENE
WASHU slaps her own forehead in frustration.
[align=center]WASHULook, just…
(sighs)
…if you see a boy, who is not Tenchi, or ‘Honorable Father’ or Katsuhito…
[/align] MIHOSHI perks up as if about to speak.
[align=center]WASHU (CONT’D)(interrupting)
…or anyone who may or may not be named “Kenchi” report it to me at once using your GP communicator.
[/align] MIHOSHI stares at the “wristwatch” on her wrist.
[align=center]MIHOSHI(saluting)
You got it, Miss Washu!
[/align] [align=center]WASHUExcellent! Now, let’s get to it! It is imperative that neither of these two see anybody except for me, at least for the time being.
[/align] [align=center]KENCHI (O.S.)Excuse me, Ma’am, but do you happen to have any herbal tea?
[/align] [align=center]WASHU(smiling)
Sure, we’ve got some right in the kitch–
[/align] WASHU gasps as she whips around to see KENCHI at the foot of the stairs.
[align=center]KENCHI(nervously)
Oh, Miss Washu! I, err, didn’t realize it was you for some reason…
(a beat; continuing)
Auntie Mihoshi, is that you?
[/align] ANGLE ON WASHU and MIHOSHI
WASHU looks utterly dejected while MIHOSHI perks up.
[align=center]MIHOSHIHiya Kenchi! It’s been a long time! I can’t remember the last time you visited…
(pondering)
…come to think of it, I can’t remember us ever meeting, actually. And, did you say “Auntie” by any chance?
[/align] [align=center]WASHU(sotto voce)
This…is…not good….
[/align] [align=right]FADE OUT.[/align] - January 15, 2014 at 6:51 PM
- in reply to: OVA 4 Screenplay (original work by Shadowsfall)
Since this is an adaptation, if the author’s happy, I’m stoked! Per the request of fellow fanfic author Mister Nil, I will write a bit about my writing (and then what? write about the writing about the writing? Nah, jk). Dictated, but not read:
Since this was an adaptation (which I have done quite rarely) all the hard work of checking canon compatibility, plot formation, even coming up with the lines was already done! The task I had before me was comparatively simple: 1)notmess up a good thing, 2) adjust the form of the descriptions and character interactions (not so much the content itself) for (what I envision to be) better onscreen flow, and 3) (the most fun part) creative liberties as allowed me by the author. With Number 1 guiding my overall work as the first law of robotics does an Asimovian android, numbers 2 and 3 overlapped fairly often, as part of the “fun” for me is making something suitable for the screen.
As mentioned to the author already (and okay’d by him), for informational purposes for anyone familiar with both versions:
I tempered Ryoko/Ayeka-ness–that is to say their catfights. While it pained me to do so (as it was near identical to my own writings for, say,
Universecanon), I couldn’t help but envision OVA versions of these two as being slightly less childish, as I’ve always felt that Universeexasperates pre-existing traits from the characters (Ryoko, Ayeka, Mihoshi, Washu, etc.). Dialogue was added, re-worded and occasionally altogether re-worked. Mostly, this was for the purposes listed above, being more compatible with what we would see on screen vs. what we would enjoy reading. As such, certain descriptors were left more bare while at other times I added in “pillow shots” with descriptions to make what audiences saw and heard during lapses in dialogue more engaging.
Paragraphs one and two above all stem from one factoid: my own process for character writing. Though much of my other processes have taken much personal effort and peer-evaluated sessions to improve and refine, dialogue has always been a strength for me. I’ve always had compliments about my own works, and follow up questions of “how do you do it?” The answer is also the reason why writing fanfiction (particularly Tenchi-flavored) has come easier to me than other endeavors: when I write dialogue for my characters, I
knowthem, inside and out. It may not work this way for others or even most, but when I develop a character, and then a story (yes, in that order), I just sit on that premise/character for, oh, a while…often years. After such a time, and I’ve “met” these characters and are familiar with who they are, writing dialogue for them is as easy as writing down hypothetical dialogue for a daily interaction between my best friends; I don’t have to think about “what would so-and-so say, here?” I just know. Thus, when I’m writing for Tenchi Muyocharacters, in most cases I feel I just knowwhat so-and-so would say when-and-where because I’ve “known” them for so many years. I sense this feeling when I read others’ work here as well (which is so awesome!) and shadows is no exception. What minor tweaks I did were only in good faith of “well, I think she would say it a bit more like this” but these were so few and far between–because shadows knows them all so well–the end result should “feel” the same. Other instances were the restrictions/conventions of the medium: we had envisioned chapters 1 and 2 being episode 1, but unless I were to go back and try writing in some cutaways, it just didn’t pan out here: chapter 1 corresponded to episode 1 (unless we’re dealing with
Geminar-length episodes). Other little tidbits (I won’t name them all, you can try to spot them) were put in for fun, but are also tricks that writers employ to make TV shows more enjoyable for the audience. Prime example: the callback. A callback is just what it sounds like: something happens early on, and, usually in a humorous or emotional manner, it’s “called back” later so the audience goes “ohhhhh” or “hahahahaaa” whatev. In Ep 1 my biggest callback was adding to Tenyo and Tenchi’s interaction upon finding Ryoko’s cave: I made it more apparent that Tenchi wasn’t watching where he was going, that “something” just led him there (you know, his heart or whatever), painfully obvious as Tenyo is talking about “following your heart.” Tenchi still has lingering doubts, or difficulties understanding Tenyo. Later, when Tenyo is in turn asking Yosho for advice, he states “we men sometimes let our minds cloud what should be simple matters of the heart” because I thought that was a nice little tie in at the end of the episode to what happened earlier on (and it’s kind of the overall theme of the episode, and likely much of shadow’s continued work). I think those are all of my “secrets” I can bear to give away for now, but perhaps some of you fellow writers found this interesting. Thanks everyone for reading, shoutout to Nil and a BIG thank-you to Shadows. I hope I don’t disappoint in the future.
- January 15, 2014 at 5:46 AM
- in reply to: WTF Did I Just Watch?! – Anime Edition
shadowsfall0 wrote:I LOVE me some RahXephon. ^^ The ending does get pretty crazy. Evangelion tops it on “WTF did I just watch” endings, particularly the last 2 episodes of the show, but RahXephon is excellent and in my opinion stands very well on its own.
Well said. Is it
Eva-esque? Yes, but considering when it was made, it’s hardly surprising, and is actually a compliment in my opinion ( Evakinda spawned a certain mech sub-genre). But even so, it does stand well enough on its own two feet and was a very enjoyable experience, particularly for a film studies guy like me! I suspect there are too many tidbits to have all been ingested upon one viewing, which gives me reason to go back to it someday; and the cinematography? FORGETABOUTIT! It’s gorgeous. I think it’s worth owning, and it is most definitelyworth seeing. Like classic shonen? How about early (non-Hentai) work of Kajishima? Do you enjoy laughing while being open to experiencing something, shall we say, Tenchi-esque? Then you won’t be disappointed. - January 15, 2014 at 2:46 AM
- in reply to: This Lullaby
soawesome1 ow, my feels.- January 14, 2014 at 12:08 AM
- in reply to: No Need for Feels! Tenchi Muyo gifs
Nil Admirari wrote:Inspired by events which transpired in chat (dubbed “Feels Night”), I set upon making gifs of the more emotional moments of the show we all know and love.
ooohhh - January 13, 2014 at 11:55 PM
- in reply to: Tenchicast! No Need for A Tenchi Muyo Podcast
I’m in, room allowing. Err, actually, if it was Sat and I was going to be in, it’d have to be more like 3:15, as I work until precisely 3EST.
- January 13, 2014 at 11:47 PM
- in reply to: WTF Did I Just Watch?! – Anime Edition
I recently finished RahXephon, and, without any spoilers…I mean I loved it, but by the end, well…”wtf did I just watch?” - January 7, 2014 at 5:15 AM
- in reply to: Tenchiforum is now Mobile!
So, I’m new to having a smartphone, and everything works great, so no need for trouble shooting on the site end, but…for no discernible reason, I pushed “view full version of site” on my android, and now I can’t get the mobile version back up again (the full version defaults on my phone). sadface1 Hopefully I’ll figure it out, but if anybody knew how to “fix” yeeeaaahhhh
mmhmm1